Long story short - DH and DS are circ'd. I wish I would have fought harder for noncirc'ing DS, but left that decision up to DH. Now we don't know if we're having a boy or girl this time around and the circumcision issue keeps bugging me.
I really don't want to circumcise. But since both DH and DS are, I kind of feel obligated to circ. That and DH would want it to be done.
My thought is that its hard enough to be born and get used to this world, plus nursing. And that the last thing baby needs is a wound to have to use energy to heal. So what if we waited, say 4-6 weeks, to get it done? Would that be better than doing it in the first couple of days?
My mom flipped out when i told her I was having conflicting feeling about circumcision -she really got me PO'd about it. But she said that newborn babies don't feel pain and so if I waited it would be more traumatic than doing it right away...
Any thoughts on this? Or links to any research?
The idea that newborns don't feel pain is ridiculous.
But the issue is SO much more complicated than that. Personally, we did circ my son and probably will any future boys, but I have mixed feelings about it and am very glad this baby is a girl so we don't have to worry about it.
I don't think there are any medical reasons to do it in most cases, but depending on your family and culture, I do believe there are still legit socio-cultural reasons to do it.
I know other ladies on here have opinions that aren't so wishy-washy
If you feel very strongly against it, I would talk to your DH, research the pros and cons and present it in that way. Just because one DS is circed doesn't mean you have to circ the second.
We didn't circ my DS, I dind't know anytning about it and left it up to my DH, now I'm glad he was against it. Newborns most definitely CAN feel pain and for someone to say otherwise is just rediculous, they're human beings just like us adults
Newborns CAN feel pain. That's absurd for her to think otherwise.
My oldest brother is circ'd. My youngest brother is not. My parents changed their minds in the 7 year span between them. Both boys understand why and it's a non-issue.
I know another mum on here had a whole slew of boys who were circ'd then changed her mind and her last son is not. Forget her name...but probably on the large families board.
For articles on circ'ing or not: The National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers.
Last edited by JorgieGirl; 11-23-2010 at 12:43 PM.
We did/do it and that's just our choice, but as PP have said, if you are really worried about it, talk to DH. I don't think that you'd have issues between the two boys.
Good luck with your choice!!
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I'm kind of in the same boat. We circumcized DS- I just didn't even think about it really, and DH is and he wanted to. But now that we're having another boy I've just thought about it more and... I'm not vehemently opposed to doing it, but I also am hesitant because I hate the thought of causing pain. But I don't know how I feel about DS being circ'ed and his little brother not- I feel like that would be hard to explain when they're older. "Well Rowan, we didn't want you to have to go through that pain as a baby for something that wasn't necessary, but with you, Kieran, we didn't give it that much thought and went ahead with it!" It sounds bad, kwim? I mean, obviously DS isn't scarred from it, he doesn't even remember it. But at the time I guess I just didn't realize how sensitive I might be as a mother at the thought of doing that to my baby, even though I know it will be ok in the long run. And, DH still wants it done. Since we're going to the birth center and they don't do them there, we'll take him to the hospital when he's a week or so and have it done then. For me, if we're going to do it I don't want to put it off any longer than necessary.
Jessica & Daniel
I have 5 boys that have all been circed...this next one will be as well. In my experience....waiting seemed to be harder on the baby. Three of my boys had the plasti-bell which involved no pain or mess after the fact, although I am sure that it more than likely hurt to get it on. The other two were cut and had to have the vaseline and gauze for several days. DS #4 was circed a week or two after he was born at the DR office. He screamed for over an hour and nothing would calm him down...not bfing, binky, nothing! Then diaper changes were horrible until he healed. Circing is definitely a personal and private decision, but in my opinion I would not wait several weeks to have it done.
Chase-13, Trey-11, Layton-9, Zander-5, McKay-3, Declan-1, Keely born 9/6/2012
I did not circumsize my son and if this baby is a boy I won't this one either. My son and my step-son are both circ'd, but dh was very adament about not doing it. He did a research paper for college about it. After watching the info video in the hospital about it, I was on board. My boy is perfect just the way he is.
Christy birth doula, Hypnobabies instructor, small business owner & most importantly MOMMY.
Thanks! That's just what I needed to hear.
Obviously, I know that babies feel pain. I was pretty shocked at what she said and the way she went about it. We had been talking about other birth-related things, while I was checking out at the Dr's office. All I said was that I am having conflicting feelings about it. I didn't even get to finish that statement or explain it at all before she jumped up and said (in an eeewww voice) "No, no, no, no" and backed away from me. Like I was asking her to eat a bug or something. WTF?
The main reason I would want to wait is because birth is hard enough. It feels like waiting would be better for baby. Let him get acclimated to the new environment before asking him to have surgery, wait until he's stronger. But I guess that's not the case? Its not any easier on them?
Idk, like I said I'm having mixed feelings about it. Everytime I think about it, I keep seeing this circumcision video in my head. And I want to cry. But then I remember that the actual procedure isn't all there is to it. So its a lot to think about -and I don't know if we're even having a boy! blah
I don't think there's any harm in waiting a bit, but I think 4-6 weeks is too long because baby will definitely be starting to be more aware of things by then. My SIL circ'd her son but she waited about a week after birth, then took him to the ped's office for the procedure. And Jews who have a traditional bris don't do it until the eighth day after birth.
We didn't circ our son, and DH was 100% on board with the idea. However, many years ago before we were ready to have kids, we talked about circ'ing & he said at that time that he wasn't sure about it, that he didn't want a son to be different than him. I said, what if our baby looks like me instead of you? Are you going to dye his reddish/blond hair black, and get him little brown contact lenses to cover his hazel/blue eyes? The fact is that babies will look different than their parents in lots of ways. If we were ever to decide to circ a son, then I would absolutely insist on plenty of pain meds, including the EMLA cream ahead of time so he won't feel the needle for the anesthetic.
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