I just didn't want to leave out anything so it's really long, sorry. I'll add some pictures later when I locate my camera
October 1, 2010
6 lbs 4 oz
I had my36 week doctor’s appointment on Thursday September 30th and I was 35 weeks +5, had my GBS swab done and that’s about all. We chatted a little bit and I made the rest of my appointments for the pregnancy and then I left. Grady and I went to Walmart and did some shopping.
Got home around 2 o’clock and was heading to the bathroom when all of a sudden I started leaking fluid all over. At first I thought I had just held my pee way too long and standing up was causing me to pee myself, but I completely soaked my pants and it was dripping. I headed to the bathroom, sat down and it just leaked and leaked and leaked. I tried to get Grady to go get my phone, but he brought me a tractor instead, he had no idea what I was talking about. I finally got up and got the phone myself, called hubby, and told him to head on home. I called my mom to let her know she was gonna have to come get Grady and then I called the doctor’s office.
I wasn’t having any contractions at the time so I was really hoping they would let me stay home for a while, but they wanted me to come in because she was so early. I didn’t have anything packed so it still took a while to get ready. I had actually made a list of things I wanted to bring to the hospital, but it didn’t have everything listed. I kind of took my time packing to stall so I didn’t have to get to the hospital too early as my original plan had been to labor at home as long as possible. I had to unload the washer and grab a bunch of stuff for Clara. In the meantime, we got Grady to lay down and take a nap and mom showed up so we headed off to the hospital. I had hubby stop by Hardee’s so I could get a curly fry since my gestational diabetes had limited my diet for a couple months, and at this point I figured what the heck, it was delicious!
We hit the road and I had hubby drive sort of slow cause I still didn’t want to get there too soon. It took about 45 minutes to get to the hospital. I went up to L&D and got checked into triage. The nurse asked if I was still leaking and I wasn’t so she swabbed my hoo ha for fluid and it was inconclusive. She said it’s not that she didn’t believe me, but they took another swab and sent it to the lab. In the meantime they hooked me up to the monitor to check contractions and Clara’s heartrate. Everything was going smooth. Contractions weren’t very close and not strong at all, very early labor BH kind of contractions. At this point I just knew I needed to get up and walk, but couldn’t til I was checked in. About an hour later the results came back from the lab and it was + for amniotic fluid. The nurse checked me and I was dilated to almost a 3 and my cervix was very thick. I knew I had a lot of work to do, but I was very excited to be at a 3! I was actually still pretty excited that I had went into labor on my own as my other 2 kids were induced and it was just really cool to have the experience of a very exciting water breaking moment.
I got to my room, got hooked up to the monitors but I was tethered to the stationary monitor for the moment. I knew they had portable ones so I knew eventually I’d be able to move around. I wouldn’t lay in the bed, I just stood next to it. The nurses took my vitals and told me I’d have to have antibiotics every 4 hours because my GBS was just done that day and they wouldn’t have the results. I wasn’t a fan, but I did understand so no big deal. The nurse I had, I didn’t care for and finally at 7pm the shift changed and I got my new nurse. I LOVED her! I got an RN and an OB Tech and they were both fantastic. The RN had her 1st 2 kids all natural and understood what I was looking for in my birthing experience. The OB Tech was young and energetic and so incredibly sweet and helpful.
I had already had 1 round of antibiotics at 6:15 and it only took about 30 minutes to run through. My new nurse, Cindy, got me hooked up to the portable monitor and set me and hubby free to walk the halls. She understood that I wanted to just be free to labor however I wanted with little interruption from them. I asked for water, but was told it was only ice chips from here on out. I was totally bummed, but when I went to the bathroom I would drink out of the faucet, gross I know, but I swear it kept me going! We walked and walked and walked and walked some more. I swear we walked over 10 miles by the end of all of it. And of course I kept updated on pregnancy.org and facebook when we would go back to the room to let Scott take a break from all the walking. At this point, the contractions were strong tightenings, but the more I walked the closer and more stable they would become. I would go back to the room and sit down to rest and they would practically disappear, which was a nice relief, but I knew I had to just keep moving. At 1 point I got a charley horse in my left calf and we had to take a break so Scott could rub it out. I had been having contractions about every 3 minutes at that point, but when I laid down they went away. I wasn’t worried though cause I needed that break and I knew that getting back up would kick them back in.
The nurse said they weren’t going to do cervical checks on me since my water was ruptured and I was so early, which was fantastic cause I didn’t want them anyway. She said at midnight Dr. Meyer would come in and check me. We kept walking until then. At 11:00pm I was getting worried cause the contractions were still really easy and about 3 minutes apart lasting about 50 seconds. If I took a break, so did they. I swear as midnight approached I practically jogged the halls to get it going. Dr. Meyer came in about 12:15, check me and I was 3 cm and 75% effaced. He said that was great that I had thinned, but he wanted to talk about a little pitocin to get me more dilated. I had a heplock that they hooked the antibiotics to when it was time, but beyond that I was not getting any fluids and that’s how I wanted to keep it. I told him to give me til 6 am and we could discuss it again since I was on the clock with ruptured waters and a preemie. I really had no intentions of doing the pitocin at 6 am either, but it bought me some more time. He said that was fine, no big deal, he’d come back at 6 or sooner if I needed him. It was absolute torture for me to lay in that bed while he was checking me, I have no idea how I labored in it the whole 21 hours with my daughter!
We walked and walked and walked some more. Very shortly after Dr. Meyer left we were walking and I noticed the contractions were changing. In the beginning it was the top of my uterus tightening a whole bunch and they were getting to be really tight. Now it was the bottom of my uterus and there was actual pain with it. I was excited about that, but also scared cause I knew I was on my way to getting some more pain. Those contractions kept up to the point that I couldn’t keep walking the halls and I didn’t need to cause even sitting didn’t make them go away. They were still 3 minutes apart and about 1 minute long. They weren’t as bad as pitocin contractions, but not as easy as the ones I’d been having. I was in some pain but still very excited. I know it sounds weird, but that’s how desperate I was to avoid an induced or augmented labor. Pitocin is something the devil invented, I’m pretty sure!
We ended up laboring in the room for the rest of it. I would sit on the couch and Scott would stand in front of me during a contraction and I would grab him around the waist and rock my hips and try to remember to breathe. He was great, he would get in my face and remind me to breathe and tell me it was almost over. Just before 2am the OB tech noticed I was in a lot of pain through the contractions so she asked to check me. I managed to get into the bed after talking myself into it, but it took a few contractions to get there. Not because I couldn’t, but because I knew it was going to hurt to lay down. She checked me and I said I was a 6 and 90% effaced. I practically jumped out of bed when she was done. I had Scott put a blanket down on the floor by the bed and I knelt on it and put my head on the bed. Within 2 or 3 contractions I started moaning and ended up on my hands and knees and I could feel my body pushing. It was amazing and scary all at once cause I’ve never felt my body push without me doing it myself. The tech grabbed the nurse and she talked me into bed cause she pretty much knew what was going on. She checked and sure enough I was complete and involuntarily pushing. She started getting the bed broken down and getting out the delivery equipment. I pushed for about 3 pushes laying on my back and I was freaking out. I couldn’t keep it together! I finally got on my hands and knees on the bed and pushed that way while they were working on their stuff. She got everything all ready to go and called the doctor. They put the squat bar up so I could hang onto that and squat while I was pushing. Dr. Meyer knew about my back problems and wanted me to push in whatever position felt good because he was worried about my back causing me problems. I pushed for a while with the squat bar and got tired on my feet. I ended up laying on my hands and knees with my head down at the end of the bed and my butt facing away from the doctor. He was so calm, he just let me do my own thing as he just patiently waited.
I kept my eyes closed through most of it, but had a sense of who was there. I wasn’t dealing with the contractions very well at this point. When they would start it was so incredibly painful. The nurse was trying to count and get me to purple push, but at that point I had the listening skills of a toddler. I just kept doing what felt right to me. The contraction would start and I would yell for my nurse, Cindy and she would get in my face and help me breathe. Then when it would pick up she would help me remember to push, of course I wasn’t pushing like she wanted me to. She wanted me to push through the count of 10, take a breath and push another 10 and take another breath and push through 10. I would take a breath, push as long as I could, maybe 8 or so and pant a couple times and my body would start pushing at that point so I would just let it do the work, which felt great, and then I never made it past the count of 5 on the 3rd push. I don’t think I ever pushed through all 3 counts til the very end. I was still kneeling with my butt the wrong way and my dr was trying to encourage me to switch positions cause I was getting no where. I finally got my butt facing him, but my nurse wanted me to flip over to my back and I just couldn’t vocalize to anyone just how much I didn’t want to do it, so I just kept shushing them and telling them no. They finally got me to flip around and grab the bar again and stand up, but it took a little while cause my feet were asleep. At that point I grabbed the bar, beared down as hard as I could and pushed. I think they were counting but I wasn’t paying any attention to them. I could feel her moving down and it felt good! I was still doing well between contractions, but as they were rising and when they were going down was the worst.
Side note: Apparently I was quite the riot while I was pushing cause I was making ridiculous comments some of which I don't remember but everyone else does. I told Dr. Meyer I would pay him double if he would reach up there, grab her by the ears and yank her out. He said he would, but it would hurt a lot worse. Then I said next time, I’m having a kitten so I don’t have to work so hard to get it out. Another time I looked up and looked over at the table with the medical instruments and saw a shot glass and asked “Is that a shot glass? And if so, who gets to do the shot, me or the doctor?” I begged for an epidural or any drugs they could scrounge up, knowing full well I deep down didn’t want one and couldn’t have anything anyway. I also told them that I wasn't pushing anymore until they got me some water, yeah, like I had a choice! Dr. Meyer recognized it as the ramblings of a mad woman and just patiently waited for me to calm down between contractions/pushing.
My 1st pushing urge came about 2:15 and I delivered her at 3:48 so this all happened in that span. While I was hanging onto the squat bar I felt her move way down and Dr. Meyer felt her too. It was at that point that he said something about it being a butt coming out and not a head. I was too involved in what I was doing to care, but I looked right at him and could tell he was freaked by it. At that point he said we have 2 choices: we could either get anesthesia in here and do a c/s or and at that point I wanted whatever the or was. The or was I had to do what he said when he said it and he would get this baby delivered. All of a sudden my ears started working and I just focused in on what he said. He had me lay down as he ordered the nurses to go get a really long forceps called a Piper. I was still pushing cause I had no choice, my body was still in charge. The nurses were having a hard time finding what he wanted and he was getting aggravated. I kept pushing and could feel that nothing was happening and he informed me that he was holding her in and not letting her out til he had what he needed, but I couldn’t stop pushing so he just held her up there while I pushed. He finally got what he needed and then told me that he was going to cut me. I started to argue, but realized the gravity of the situation and just let him. I don’t know if it would’ve been necessary and neither did he, but I didn’t want to take the chance and neither did he. He told me to push and I did, with all my might and felt her slide out. He told me to just keep pushing to get her head out and I did. It was hard because there was no contraction, but I could tell by his voice that I needed to do it and do it quickly so that’s what I did. The immediately took her over to the warmer next to my bed. I thought I would be upset because I wanted her right after she was born, but I could tell something wasn’t right and I just watched as they told me what was going on. Dr. Meyer stood with me waiting on my placenta and telling me what was going on with Clara. She wasn’t very responsive so they were deep suctioning her. Within a few minutes they said she was fine and they were just going to keep her there to keep helping her, but they kept reassuring me that she was indeed going to be okay. Within about half an hour my placenta released and before Dr. Meyer could say anything to me I got a very tiny contraction and pushed on my own and out it popped. He showed it to me and explained what all it was and then went on to stitching me up. They brought Clara over to me and put her on my bare belly and put blankets over us. I was so happy to finally have her and so happy she was okay. Dr. Meyer stitched me up, which hurt, but I was so involved in Clara that I didn’t pay much attention to him.
After he finished up, Clara and I just laid there together getting her all nice and warm from my body heat. I think I realized around this point that at some point during the pushing I had gotten so hot I had ripped off my gown cause I was laying in bed naked and it only then dawned on me. I was on cloud 9, I had my baby in my arms and I had just delivered her!!!!! BREECH none the less!!!!!
I put her to the breast and she latched on pretty quickly with a great latch. She sucked and sucked and it was great. I was worried that she wouldn’t be able to nurse well since she was so early, but she is a champion nurser. We laid there and she stayed latched on and nursed on and off for about 45 minutes. They let me just keep her there with me til I was ready to let her go to the nursery to get cleaned up and checked out. I think it was about 5 or 5:30am before I was okay with giving her up. They brought me in some food and then I went down to the nursery to be with her. Her temperature was low so they put her in the warmer. Before I would’ve said that I didn’t want her to be in there any longer than necessary and I would’ve wanted her just to have skin to skin to warm her up, but for some reason it really didn’t bother me. I went back to the room and got cleaned up while she was gone. They didn’t keep her very long. They brought her back to me and I just snuggled her and nursed her all morning. I couldn’t sleep, heck I could barely sit still. I was exhausted deep down, but I was on such an adrenaline rush that I was sure it would take me a week to settle back down.
There were parts that didn’t go as I had planned, but I had such an amazing team of nurses and such an amazing doctor that understood what I wanted and tried very hard to get me all of it. They knew how important my birth was to me, but also how important my darling girl was, so they kept both things in mind instead of making my wishes take a backseat to their needs as medical professionals. I’m still on a high!!!
The stitches hurt the first day and I still can’t sit directly on them, but that is nothing compared to the pain I go through with a c-section and they are already feeling better than they did yesterday. I know some people that can stand up and be doing everything quickly after a c/s, but I don’t heal from them that quickly so I’m glad I don’t have to worry about it this time. I got my VBA2C, but not just that, I got to experience a very natural birth. I can’t wait to do it again……..wait, I just shifted wrong and felt my stitches again, okay, maybe I can wait a while, but I will forget this pain just like I did my c/s pain after my other kids All of my births have significance, but Clara’s birth was a very healing experience for me because I was informed and was able to consciously take charge of my care.