Dh wants a hospital birth

12 posts / 0 new
Last post
isisgoddess_1's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 6 months ago
Joined: 03/29/08
Posts: 1220
Dh wants a hospital birth

I think he is uncomfortable with going to a Birthing Center for some reason. I am working on him though. LOL. I did find a hospital that does water births. I am stoked. It is 30 to 45 mins away though. Is that excessive? I think I could cave to a hospital birth there. Then if I chicken out again I have the option of an epi. I do know now that I want a midwife so that I can try for the natural birth I want. I am having a hard time finding midwives around here though. It there is a nurse practitioner/midwife at a doctors office do you still have the chance someone else would deliver the baby?

Marite13's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 7 months ago
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

For my first birth, the hospital we chose was an hour from the house we were living in. I was able to drive 45 minutes to my dad's house, labor there a while, and then head the last 15 to the hospital. I don't think an hour's drive is too long (unless you have really short labors), but you will want to make sure you leave early enough that the drive isn't unbearable. Also, there was no way I was going to sit in a seat during any of those drives... I knelt/did hands and knees in the back seat, and was *almost* as comfortable as I had been on hands and knees in the bed at home.

I had a CNM for that birth at the hospital, and their rule was that the midwives did all your care and attended the delivery (personally, my view is that *I* delivered the baby, not the midwife!), and you never see the supporting OB unless there is an issue. And that is exactly what happened for me. I never saw him. Now, I got lucky and got the midwife I had seen the most/loved...but she was one of I think 3 or 4 in the office, and any one of them could have been on call when I went into labor.

Good luck finding what you're looking for!

cactuswren's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 10 months ago
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Show him this article Smile Good for skeptics!

My BC was a 25 minute drive--I could totally have gone farther if I had to. It will mean you will probably want to head in a little sooner than you could if it was closer, but not a huge deal.

Can't speak to the likelihood of who will deliver your baby, because I'm sure it totally depends on the practice. My BC had the midwives on a rotating schedule and it was just luck of the draw. The one who delivered me was the ONE I had never met, but it didn't matter at all...I loved her and she helped me have a great birth.

Good luck!!

Offline
Last seen: 4 years 2 months ago
Joined: 09/02/05
Posts: 994

All of my boys have been born at hospitals that were about 30-45 minutes away....that is what happens when you live in the country. I don't think that is excessive at all. Although I do have to say that I did wait too long with my last one and delivered his head in the car--not recommended. Good luck trying to convince your DH!

momW's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

I'm 25 minutes from the hospital I deliver at. I'm about 2 minutes away from my local hospital but I wouldn't have a baby there on a dare. So, no I don't think it's excessive at all. When I had my last baby we lived 10 minutes farther from the hospital so it was a 35 minute drive.

Offline
Last seen: 3 years 2 months ago
Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

You might consider hiring a doula if you're committed to birthing naturally. It would be a great support for you, and you can use a doula whether you're using a m/w or an ob.

Spacers's picture
Offline
Last seen: 10 months 4 weeks ago
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4104

In labor & birth, the one who needs to be the most comfortable is the mom. His job is to help make you comfortable, and if that means that *he* might be a bit more uncomfortable, then he needs to suck it up & do whatever you need him to do for you to be comfortable. When it's his turn to carry & birth a baby, that's when he can make the decisions that make him most comfortable.

sarahsunshine's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 3 months ago
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

For most 30-45 minutes should be fine. Never having had to drive during labour, I’m not much help. I do know, however, that when my labour hits (at least the last 3 times), it’s instantly full-on intense contractions 1-3 minutes apart. The last time was the first time I had warning that I was in labour, but it went minor questionable contractions from 7-20 minutes apart to 3 minutes instantly, but only after about 10 hours. There is no way that I would want to get in a vehicle with contractions 3 or less minutes apart, and at 7-20 minutes there’s no point in going anywhere since they can stay that way for days.
As well, once I start getting contractions 3 minutes apart, labour is usually no more than an hour.

In other words, I’m glad I’m not trying to time things with a ride to the hospital. In fact timing a phone call to the midwife so she can get there in time is hard enough! 2 out of 3 times the back-up arrived just as or right after baby was born, and once, there was no backup! And yes, I’m talking about my first birth too!

The most important thing DH needs to understand is that the more comfortable you are, the less chance there is of requiring any interventions. So, essentially, it’s not about where HE feels comfortable, it’s about where YOU feel comfortable.

alwayssmile's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 1 month ago
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

The hospital I'm choosing to go to is an hour away. There is one 10 minutes from my house, but you couldn't pay me to go there. So to another city it is!

Sweet Pea Twins's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 3 weeks ago
Joined: 09/08/09
Posts: 922

The hospital that I am delivering at is 45 minutes away from my house... and if I happen to have to go in during rush, it could be more like 75 minutes or so... so it's not unheard of...

CamelNoodle's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

"Spacers" wrote:

In labor & birth, the one who needs to be the most comfortable is the mom. His job is to help make you comfortable, and if that means that *he* might be a bit more uncomfortable, then he needs to suck it up & do whatever you need him to do for you to be comfortable. When it's his turn to carry & birth a baby, that's when he can make the decisions that make him most comfortable.

I agree with this. Hopefully you can come to a consensus.

Offline
Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/23/07
Posts: 624

The hospital I deliver at takes about 25 minutes for us to get to if we don't hit all the red lights and there isn't tons of traffic. I have gone to the hospital when labour wasn't too intense, and one time I went when I was already in transition. That was tough but somehow I did it.