So on Thanksgiving, I spent the evening with some friends I met from a playgroup I joined. Both of their children were born within a week of mine, so it was pretty cool. The MIL and BIL were there as well, and it was a really great dinner.
We were sitting around talking afterwards and my friend's MIL was asking about Justus' birth, etc and I told her he was a planned HBAC turned transfer. So she says, "I planned a home birth with my first too." I thought to myself cool! And I said, "Really?" in a kindof excited voice. And she says, "Yeah, and he died." :eek: The room got really quiet, and I just said, "That's awful." She went on to tell me that she wished she had been in the hospital and utilized the equipment and expertise since the only reason she wanted a home birth was b/c she didn't like IVs or needles. Of course she has a million what-ifs even though it happened many years ago.
My poor friend sent me a text afterwards apologizing for what MIL said and hoping it didn't ruin the evening, but really I was honored that MIL was comfortable enough to discuss it with me. I didn't feel like she did it in a chastising or judging manner, but I just felt like she was sharing her experience.
My heart went out to her, but I just didn't know what to say. Things like that really affect me, especially now that I have my own children... I think of them and my heart just breaks.