Didn't love my natural birth! Just me?

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keky's picture
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Didn't love my natural birth! Just me?

I wanted a natural birth. I had an hour and a half of labor pains, pushed out an 8lb 15oz baby in 3 pushes! But afterwards I was so physically exhausted that I was just completely out of it. I watch the video of DS1 (epidural) and I'm talking to him and DH and totally with it. With DS2 (natural) I was exhausted, couldn't keep my eyes open, etc. If I had to go back I would get the epidural and if I ever have another child I will!

Am I the only one who was less than elated about their natural birth?

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I have a friend who has quick labors and she hates it. It is really hard on her and exhausting. She still goes natural with each but she doesn't like it. I say do what works for you. Choices for birth are there so you can have that choice.

keky's picture
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"jonibug" wrote:

I have a friend who has quick labors and she hates it. It is really hard on her and exhausting. She still goes natural with each but she doesn't like it. I say do what works for you. Choices for birth are there so you can have that choice.

:bighug:

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An hour and a half of labor and then 3 pushes is a very fast birth! Fast births tend to be a lot more intense because your body is doing the same amount of work as a longer labor in a short amount of time. With that fast of a labor, I doubt there would even be time to get an epidural and have it start to work before the baby was born. And women who have one fast labor tend to go fast with future ones.

You are not alone, though. I have two friends who have had back labor with each of their first two babies. Both had natural births with the first ones, and one had an epidural with the second and prefered it, and the other would have gotten an epidural the second time, but her labor went too fast for it (it was about 4 1/2 hours).

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My SIL's first two births were completely natural. They were fast & intense, but manageable. She fully intended her third birth, a surrogacy, to be the same. It wasn't. She says it started with vomiting & got worse from there. ROFL It also looked like it would be a very fast labor and she wanted the intended parents to be able to make it, if they could. So she asked for an epidural the minute she walked in & they fast-tracked her & had it placed within half an hour. The vomiting stopped, and the contractions slowed down enough that the parents got there, and she actually enjoyed the experience instead of just living through it. She's pregnant again with another surrogacy and again plans to go natural, but will do whatever she needs for it to be a peaceful birth.

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I had three different kinds of birth.

My first was a Pitocin labor with 3 doses of Fentanyl (IV pain meds) an Epidural (x2) and AROM (artificial rupture of membrane-- broke my water). 27 hours later an episiotomy, 3rd degree tear and vacuum assist. I felt out of control from the moment the contractions started after they turned on the pit. The contractions were sooo painful but they hurt at the top of my belly and made me vomit like crazy without making progress in cervix. The epidural helped me make progress and I didn't feel the "big gush" when they broke my water and I didn't feel the episiotomy.. but I couldn't push cause I didn't know I was having contractions.. couldn't use my legs (couldn't feel them), etc.

My 2nd was induced with Cervadil and was SOO much better. The contractions felt good and natural for the first 4 hours. I started to get physically tired but could not rest between contractions, so I had Fentanyl twice before getting the epidural at the 7.5 hour mark. It took 30 minutes to get the epi in and I was pushing as soon as it was in. My toes were tingly. I felt the pushing. I could tell what I was doing. I would say I felt a decent amount of pain in pushing, but nothing like what I just went through with #3. #2 came with vacuum assist and rectal assist cause pushing was not effective enough.

#3 was ALL NATURAL! No induction (save for membrane stripping). Prodromal labor for 3 days, then finally 4cm came... in all it's glory and mass amounts of pain. Less than 1 hour later, Baby came out with 3 pushes. No time for an epidural. I was too exhausted to enjoy that baby was a girl (we kept the gender a surprise)...

all in all, I preferred #2's 8 hour birth with a mostly worthless epidural. But with #3 I didn't need any assistance in pushing baby out, despite my body shutting down after 2nd push.

You are definitely not alone in preferring the meds. Wink

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I agree with Joni- that's why the choices are there Smile
I have fast births but I've never felt exhausted from that, they are certainly intense though. I have felt a bit shell shocked I guess you could say but actually after their births I've felt really energized...I could hardly even sleep the first nights after having a baby. I felt way more exhausted after my medicated births to be honest. With DD2 I had IV medication very shortly before she was born (went from 6cm to birth in less than half an hour) and I felt groggy and sick from that for a while after she was born.

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My first birth was great. My second, if there would have been time, I'd have taken drugs had I not been at home.

I do natural because it's still best for baby, if possible. Not cause I'm expecting a wonderful, elating experience.

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"JorgieGirl" wrote:

I do natural because it's still best for baby, if possible. Not cause I'm expecting a wonderful, elating experience.

This. Baby definitely fared better with my natural delivery.

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I hear what you're saying. My first was unmedicated, 12 hours, horrible back labor, an episiotomy, and two internal tears... I looked like I had been in a train wreck after and could barely sit down without screaming for two weeks. Because of that I immediately got an epi with #2 (I was induced, so the pit didn't help with the pain). WIth #3 I was induced again and held out as long as I could without the epi but finally caved 4 hours in because, again, the pit was making the contractions unbearable. I'm really hoping to go natural with this baby, praying that there's no induction needed and no back labor. I do like knowing that I have the option if I want though. I wasn't out of it at all with babies 2 and 3, and I liked the fact that I wasn't writhing in pain when they were born, so I was able to enjoy the entire experience. I didn't notice a difference in any of my babies with or without getting the epi... as that medicine doesn't cross the placenta like an IV med does. Good luck with your decision though!

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I can't say that I've always all out loved the actual experience of labor, well active labor that is, but I do love that I am in control more than when I've had an epidural.

"Starryblue702" wrote:

I didn't notice a difference in any of my babies with or without getting the epi... as that medicine doesn't cross the placenta like an IV med does. Good luck with your decision though!

When you receive an epidural the drugs do pass through the placenta & to the baby.

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"Chimmy" wrote:

When you receive an epidural the drugs do pass through the placenta & to the baby.

True. Anything literally numbing the entire area that surrounds the baby is going to the baby.

http://childbirthsolutions.com/articles/weighing-the-pros-and-cons-of-the-epidural/

Undesired effects on the fetus:

*Abnormal heart rate patterns, requiring oxygen to the mother, position changes and possible cesarean delivery.
*Increased likelihood of newborn septic workup, IV antibiotics and isolation in the nursery if the mother develops an “epidural fever” that causes fetal tachycardia or newborn fever.
*If the fetus is already stressed greater amounts of the medication are “trapped” in the fetal circulation, leading to more pronounced newborn effects (see below).

Undesired effects on the newborn:

*Short-term (six weeks or less) subtle neurobehavioral effects, such as irritability and inconsolability and decreased ability to track an object visually or to shut out noise, bright light.4 There are no data on potential long-term effects.
*Possible less efficient or less organized initial rooting and suckling behavior. Nurses have reported more difficulties in feeding babies whose mothers had an epidural when compared to unmedicated babies.6
*Decreased infant responsiveness may lead to long-term consequences for the parent-infant relationship.14 Parents should be counseled to give their babies time to recover from the birth and medication and should avoid a label of “difficult child” or “incompetent mother.”

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Honestly, one of the reasons I'm so against an epidural for me with my last 3 is because I found out that you can actually have a fatal reaction to an epidural. It freaked me out, you never hear about that. It wasn't worth the risk for me especially since I have such fast labors. Plus I had an epidural headache after my first, and the epidural didn't even take so I had pain during labor and pain afterwards.

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"mandi04" wrote:

Honestly, one of the reasons I'm so against an epidural for me with my last 3 is because I found out that you can actually have a fatal reaction to an epidural. It freaked me out, you never hear about that. It wasn't worth the risk for me especially since I have such fast labors. Plus I had an epidural headache after my first, and the epidural didn't even take so I had pain during labor and pain afterwards.

Yeah, I am way more freaked out by the side effects of the drugs to the baby and the thought of needles in my spine near all those nerves (my mother had a horrific anesthesia-gone-wrong experience with my little brother's birth that landed her flat on her back being spoonfed for the first two+ weeks of his life) than a little exhaustion. My birth was very long (24+ hours) and quite frankly painful, but it was completely worth it to be able to feel so good about doing the very best thing for my baby (which in my case it was--obviously if you have medical problems then interventions are the best thing! But for me it was just taking.For.EVER. and that was not worth the risks of intervention, to me.) No, I didn't "love" my natural birth in terms of enjoying the physical experience, but I do love that I did it, in the bigger picture.

I don't think anything is one size fits all, though. You need to do what's right for you--as long as you are fully informed, then you are the best person to say what that is!

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"mandi04" wrote:

Honestly, one of the reasons I'm so against an epidural for me with my last 3 is because I found out that you can actually have a fatal reaction to an epidural. It freaked me out, you never hear about that. It wasn't worth the risk for me especially since I have such fast labors. Plus I had an epidural headache after my first, and the epidural didn't even take so I had pain during labor and pain afterwards.

True.

My mom wound up needing an epidural with my youngest brother (long labour, 12lb 3oz baby), and instead of freezing her lower half, it froze her respiratory system. She almost died. They had to do a crash c/sec and get my brother out, and literally bring her back to life, twice. Scared the crap out of me. I was 9.

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"Chimmy" wrote:

When you receive an epidural the drugs do pass through the placenta & to the baby.

I just meant that it has less effect on baby than having meds shot right into your bloodstream via an IV. And like I said, from having two babies with an epi and one natural, I didn't notice any difference whatsoever with the babies, and they were all perfect, healthy, and alert. Also, I had no side effects at all. But again, this was my experience... every woman and birth is different.

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"Starryblue702" wrote:

I just meant that it has less effect on baby than having meds shot right into your bloodstream via an IV. And like I said, from having two babies with an epi and one natural, I didn't notice any difference whatsoever with the babies, and they were all perfect, healthy, and alert. Also, I had no side effects at all. But again, this was my experience... every woman and birth is different.

Aahh you know, going back & re-reading what you orignally wrote and then reading what you said above I get what your saying now. I read it as saying it doesn't pass through the placenta at all, so I misunderstood Smile

For what it's worth my intention in replying was not to offend and I'm sorry if I did so. My epi babies were very alert & healthy as well. I do however think it's important for women to know & understand the possible side effects (not saying you didn't, speaking in general here) of recieving an epidural. I feel in our current society due to how common it is to receieve one that we (general) have become very non-chalant about this which leads to a false sense of safety & thus too many 'I wish I had known..." moments.

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I had a very fast, intense labor (two hours) and a 9 lb. 6 oz. baby and I totally lost it during labor. I screamed bloody murder! Most of it wasn't his size or anything but how he was born (he came out on his side, they tried to turn him but he was not turning-- I had to push his head, shoulders, and hips out). I was left feeling disappointed in myself... like I had lost control and I just wasn't cut out for natural labor. I don't necessarily feel that way now that I know that that's typically just how it is with very fast labors and how he presented at birth and if I were to ever have another, I prolly would do it naturally again. I don't think I'd have a choice, lol. If I had been going to a hospital with my two hour labor, I would have been past the point of being able to get an epidural anyway b/c the birthing center is three minutes from the hospital and I was only there ten minutes before I was pushing... it would take longer than that to do the paper work at the hospital...
Perhaps your iron was low, making you tired? I was exhausted DURING labor but right after, I got a burst of energy that lasted about five days! I did not have that with my epidural labors.

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[QUOTE=Nell4Him]I had three different kinds of birth.

#3 was ALL NATURAL! No induction (save for membrane stripping). Prodromal labor for 3 days, then finally 4cm came... in all it's glory and mass amounts of pain. Less than 1 hour later, Baby came out with 3 pushes. No time for an epidural. I was too exhausted to enjoy that baby was a girl (we kept the gender a surprise)...
QUOTE]

Pretty much my third baby's birth, word for word. Early labor for 3 days until I hit 4 cm, membrane sweep, water broke at home and baby was here two hours later (though it took a lil more than 3 pushes, hehe). Smile