Yesterday I was at my OB for my prenatal appointment (38w,6d). I am seeing both an OB and midwife, because this is not a midwife friendly state. So I wanted to have all bases covered in case of an emergency or something.
So my OB walks into the room and says "Are you ready to go to the hospital?" I said no that I'd like to just wait and see what happens -not even due for another week. She was kind of surprised and asked again "You want to wait?" After I said yes again, she said "Ok let's check you and see where you're at."
She starts to check me and pulls her hand out quick (almost like something bit her)and she jumps. Apparently, the baby touched or grabbed her fingers. She looked very concerned and said that baby's hand was sticking out and I needed to go to the hospital right away. She almost forgot to even check baby's heart rate. She didn't even want me to go home and get my husband! Well I told her that I was *at least* going home first -not doing a thing without my Dh!
I leave and call my midwife. She asked me to come to her house so she can check me, and I did. By the time I got there, I was in tears. Midwife said that there was no hand sticking out of my cervix, my water had not broken (so baby couldn't have "grabbed" her), everything looked great, and all she could feel was baby's head. She was even trying to take pictures of my cervix just to show me. And I wish that it would have worked, that would have been really neat to see! Midwife also said that even if baby was hand-first, that it really isn't a problem to deliver like that. She's done it plenty of times. But standard hospital procedure around here is C-section!
So I call my OB's office and tell them that I was not going to the hospital. That I'd rather stay home and just see what happens. The receptionist said that's fine, its my choice and to call back on Monday to make an appointment. I really couldn't believe how easy that was! But then 2 minutes later, my doc called back. She said that I had to go to the hospital. I told her again that I just wanted to wait and see what happend. She said "if you go into labor on your own, I won't be able to save the baby"
Save the baby? Save the baby from what? She was very pushy! Making me feel like, if I didn't go -I was jeopardizing my baby's life. So now I am all worked up, Dh is upset, blah! Dh is afraid that if we don't go, we'll be considered negligent or something and they're going to come and take our children away from us.
Luckily, my midwife has a lot of connections. So we are getting a "legitimate" second opinion from a CNM (who is legal to practice) -to cover our behinds. But we won't be able to do that until Tuesday! I am so frustrated with the whole situation. So I am trying to explain it all to my family, and they're all upset with me because how could I go against a doctor's opinion and listen to just a midwife. She's a doctor and obviously knows best. That's when I decided to go ahead and schedule an appt. for a second opinion.
I'm so upset about the whole situation. Just a bunch of stress that I didn't need right now. I was so worked up that I was seriously shaking/trembling all night. Sorry this ended up being so long. But I really needed to just let it all out to sympathetic ears! I don't know people IRL besides my midwife, who do things naturally, go against the norm, or really know about this kind of stuff.
WHAT A B*TCH!
If it makes you feel any better, i had a discussion with one of my OB's- it was actually about lenght of labor with a 2nd baby- but he used the example that barring something like the unusual (not abnormal, not dangerous) positioning LIKE A HAND BY THE HEAD, labor should be much quicker, especially the pushing phase.
and note that he used it as an example of why labor might not be quite a bit shorter- not an example of when they would have to revert to c-section.
i have NEVER (and i'd say i've done quite a bit of research, but i'm not exactly a certified doula, childbirth educator, midwife, nurse or Dr) heard of a hand by the head causing such complications as to present THAT much danger to the baby. i've heard that labor totally sucked, and in a few cases that they did a c-section because of it..... but DAMN, what a B*TCH for saying that!
also- after being told the baby grabbed her fingers, i would have TOTALLY checked myself to see! but i also would have loved to see the look on the OB's face when i said... WTF are you talking about?
Holy sh*t! That is seriously effed up. Are you able to check yourself or have your DH check you? I'm not discounting your midwife at all, but it might help you to chill and trust that you're doing the right thing. Oh, and yeah, a nuchal hand is not an emergency. It might hurt like a ***** coming out and you may be more likely to have skid marks or a minor tear from it, but it's definitely not a risk to the baby.
I am so, so sorry you are dealing with this. I think getting a second opinion is an excellent idea. Like everyone else, I've never heard of that endangering the baby's life. I've heard of it making delivery more painful, or take a little longer, but that's it. I think you (and the baby) are going to be just fine.
wow that is just horrible!!!!! I cannot believe she said the things she did!! It makes me just sick that so many OBs are like this!!!!! Thankfully your are informed and aren't going to take this crap from her! You are planning a HB right? My daughter was born with her hand right by her head and I only pushed for 15 mins and had a tiny little tear! A lot of babies are born that way. It is just crazy to me that the OB would say that the baby's hand was like sticking out of your cervix, haven't heard that one before! I mean I am sure it has happened before but with intact membranes I really don't see how it could! Seriously what scare tactics are they going to use next!! SO sorry you have to deal with all of this right now. Sounds like you are taking the right steps and I can't wait to hear about your wonderful homebirth!!
DS Ethan 1/29/08,
DD Lola 2/2/10
DS2 Weston 2/18/12
That's total BS!! One of two things is going on here - either she's blatently lieing, in order to pressure you into an induction you don't want but is convenient for her, or else she's an idiot who has no idea about birth at all. Either way, she shouldn't be practicing medicine, in my opinion.
For what it's worth, I delivered a hand-first babe (my DD), and the last birth I attended as a doula was hand-first. Both babes were absolutely fine. I didn't tear at all, but my client had some tearing (nothing really serious, needed a couple stitches). And DD was born in 4 hours, from start to finish... In fact, at the doula-birth, the doc and m/w attending were both pretty tickled that the babe was hand-first, since it's such a rare event. One of the nurses said it was good luck.
So, even IF that's the case (and I REALLY doubt it... if you've got a hand sticking out of your cervix, I'm pretty sure you'd know it, as would your m/w), you and babe will both be fine and you're not in any more danger than in any other normal birth circumstance.
Married to Mark 05.25.07
DD Stella Gabrielle - 12.31.07
DS Sebastien David - 01.06.09
DD Selene 'Lilu' Katherine Alice 03.16.11
Homebirthing, breastfeeding, attachment parenting momma
Drop that OB like a hot potato! Wow.
Thanks for the support!
I'm pretty pissed at the situation. She almost had me convinced that it was a medical emergency. But I am glad that I took the time to stop and think about it and get more information (from my midwife and online). I don't plan on going back to this OB. Getting my second opinion (for family's peace of mind more than anything else) and having a great home birth with my midwife!
But now my Dh is afraid to DTD. I think he thinks a hand is going to grab him! lol
Last edited by TyrantOfTheWeek; 02-07-2011 at 02:43 PM.
Dylan 4/22/04, Devon 6/24/06,Dorothy 9/13/07, Derek 12/19/09, Daniel 12/18/10, Daphne 2/24/12
Mindie and Mark, 5/16/09
Oh my! Wow I am speechless. I am so very sorry this happened to you!!!
Christy birth doula, Hypnobabies instructor, small business owner & most importantly MOMMY.