Okay so I posted on facebook about my fun with insurance and midwifes and what not yesterday. Well People keep telling me, all of which are either involved in medical or have family involved, that a hospital birth is the only way to go and that if I did anything but, especially a home birth i'm endangering my life and my baby's life, and making a stupid decision. Thank you for your concern, not, but telling me i'm a bad mother and killing me or my baby if i have a home birth is way out of line.
They tried to bring up how many things can go wrong with a birth and that being in a hospital is what will save a life. My response to that is that, sad to say, most of the things that go wrong with a birth are because doctors and nurses stick their nose and fingers into things that it shouldn't belong in. Far to often the doctors and nurses "think" they know best when all they are doing is causing problems rather than letting the mother's body do it's thing. That doctor's far to often compare every laboring mom as if she is a text book birther.
It just really bugs me that people can't just let people make their own choices, and if something happens, suffer the consequences. I've done my studying and PRAYING, and a lot of it, thank you very much. I think if the decision I was making was bad the Lord would let me know.
Ha, yeah, just last night someone brought up (when I said I was doing a homebirth) a local news story about a homebirth where apparently the mom caught flesh-eating bacteria from unsterile tools. Yet no one thinks twice about infections picked up from hospitals (which has included flesh-eating bacteria too, BTW- as matter of fact thew only stories I can find about it are from hospital births). People just don't question the safety of the hospital, and yet WE'RE the wrong and reckless ones. Geez.
Krista, I'm sorry this is so frustraiting for you. I think from the time I've spent on this board, that when I plan a homebirth (if the decision is supported by prayer, of course), my plans are probably going to be on a need-to-know basis. Homebirth is something there are so many misconceptions about, both among people who don't know anything about birth and among people who only have experience with hospital birth, and it is just not worth it to try to argue with people who are not interested in actually hearing your point of view and definitely not any where near changing theirs.
Ugh. Don't people realize that as recently as the 1930s here in the US the majority of births were home births? That means our grandparents generation! How did we all come to be if home birth is oh so dangerous?! The idea of having a baby surrounded by surgeons is so new yet it's taken hold like so many antibiotic resistant strains of bacteria you find in hospitals.
I went to a homebirth discussion group recently, and there was a comment that really stuck out to me. One medical professional attending said that in an emergency situation, if you are in your hospital room, it often takes 20 minutes or more to arrange the personnel and get started with emergency procedures. So, if you are within a 20 minute radius of ANY hospital, you are just as safe (if not safer) at home as you would be in your hospital room. That really struck a cord with me, and I plan to respond to the next rude comment that I get with, "My upbringing insists that I thank you for your unsolicited advice, but until you can offer me research and scientific data to back your theories, then not only is your advice unsolicited, but it is unwanted as well."
I'm sorry you got a bad response. It is very frustrating, especially when you know these people have probably not done near the research or soul-searching that you have.
Ariel & John: Military Family since May 17, 2006
Sylvia: 12/18/08, Justus: 9/17/10, Bunni: 5/11/12, Surprise Baby: Guess Date 11/5/13
Don't let the opinions of others upset you. Lead your own style of life and continue to research what you think is best for your family. Follow this advice too as your kids get older and new problems arise. Be confident in your decisions.
Leo (3 1/2) with Malcolm the cat
I'm sorry that you got such a negative response from those around you. I decided not to enlighten most of my family and friends about our upcoming homebirth for those exact reasons. It makes me sad that I can't share my joy and excitement about HB with most of them but I'd rather not deal with their negative responses as well.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
That's so frustrating. I felt the same way with DS's birth with planning a birth center birth. People were so concerned. I just don't get it. AND to top it off, after I had the easiest labor/delivery/recovery of all of my friends, no one will talk to me about it. so absurd.
I'm hoping this go around we won't get as much crap since we already did the birth center last time. we'll see.....