Feeling indecisive?
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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling indecisive?

    Hi ladies, I tend to lurk on this board a lot. I had a lodge with my DD in 2009 and found you all to be a great support.I had a pit augmented birth with DS(due to high BP) and got an epi fairly early. I caved and got an epi with DD when I was basically complete. Both births were actually pretty easy and I had no problems, but they were long(18 hrs for DS with pit and 14+ hrs to dilate from 5cm-birth with DD).
    Anyway, from the time I found out I was pregnant this time around, I was planning a NCB. However, in the past few months I've been second-guessing if that's what I really want to try for. I know very well the benefits of NCB and the risks of having an epi, but for some reason my mind(or maybe my preggo hormones) is just telling me that I will end up with an epi anyway so why even try. Has anyone else been through this? The logical part of me says that it's best to be determined and prepared to have a NCB (especially since it's my third and will likely,hopefully be a shorter labor). The emotional part of me says just forget about trying so hard since I'm probably going to fail at having a med-free birth.
    Oh, and to add to my lack of confidence, DH is an anesthesiologist and really doesn't understand me wanting to go drug free, so I pretty much am on my own at this.
    Sorry to write a book. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated
    Beth

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    Posting Addict joysiloo's Avatar
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    I have some similar feelings. I ended up with an epi at 10cm with DD because the nurse wouldn't check to see if I was complete and since I was in transition and thought I had hours to go, I was losing it. I had a wonderful delivery and no bad side effects from the epidural.

    I remember feeling so out of control for the last 10-15 minutes before my epidural (I had a fast and furious labor from 3 to 10cm in about an hour), and honestly, even knowing that it didn't last that long, I question my ability to do it again without asking for an epidural. That's one of the reasons I'm opting to birth at a birthing center...so that I don't have the option of an epidural. I can't be sure what I would do if I were in a hospital setting.

    Have an DH that was an anesthesiologist would be very hard...his version of normal is very different and it's his job to prevent pain. It will likely be difficult for him to see you in pain that he views as unnecessary. I would make sure he knows in advance that you need him to support your choice, especially when you are in a lot of pain. I would ask him not to recommend an epi during labor and to keep his mouth shut.
    Daphne Jo 12.29.08 Cormac Thomas 08.25.11




  3. #3
    Posting Addict cactuswren's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joysiloo View Post
    I have some similar feelings. I ended up with an epi at 10cm with DD because the nurse wouldn't check to see if I was complete and since I was in transition and thought I had hours to go, I was losing it. I had a wonderful delivery and no bad side effects from the epidural.

    I remember feeling so out of control for the last 10-15 minutes before my epidural (I had a fast and furious labor from 3 to 10cm in about an hour), and honestly, even knowing that it didn't last that long, I question my ability to do it again without asking for an epidural. That's one of the reasons I'm opting to birth at a birthing center...so that I don't have the option of an epidural. I can't be sure what I would do if I were in a hospital setting.

    Have an DH that was an anesthesiologist would be very hard...his version of normal is very different and it's his job to prevent pain. It will likely be difficult for him to see you in pain that he views as unnecessary. I would make sure he knows in advance that you need him to support your choice, especially when you are in a lot of pain. I would ask him not to recommend an epi during labor and to keep his mouth shut.
    That is SO frustrating! And such a great answer--I was going to suggest looking at your birthing environment to maximize your chances of success this time. I don't know if it is realistic or even possible for you to switch to a birth center, but perhaps you could look into getting a doula or someone else who can support you in your NCB goals--because support is definitely the key! Had I not had a 100% supportive DH and a 100% supportive birth center environment, I'm not sure I would have made it either. And I am SO, SO glad that I did.

    I had a long (24 hour) natural labor that lingered at 5-6 cm foreeeever and when I suddenly went to complete (nearly immediately after taking a round of blue cohosh--that stuff SERIOUSLY worked for me) but didn't know it, I started seriously losing it too. Fortunately, when the "I can't do this!!!" kicked in, at that point the midwife came in and said "Oh! I hear you're saying all the right things...let's check you!" so I knew I was nearly done and by the time it got THAT bad, pain relief wasn't even an issue, it was just time to get the baby out.

    My advice is do everything you can to set yourself up for success if this is what you want. You CAN do it, but don't leave the window open and you can't jump out of it (except in case of emergency of course)
    -Leigh-
    DD Adair Lucille 7/6/10
    DD Faye Louise 10/19/13

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    Posting Addict mommys's Avatar
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    I HIGHLY suggest, as PP did, that you get good support. A doula would be wonderful for your situation. You should have someone that can coach you through those long hours with restful and productive positions to help you along. Also, someone there t remind you what your initial goals are.
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    Quote Originally Posted by joysiloo View Post
    I remember feeling so out of control for the last 10-15 minutes before my epidural (I had a fast and furious labor from 3 to 10cm in about an hour), and honestly, even knowing that it didn't last that long, I question my ability to do it again without asking for an epidural. That's one of the reasons I'm opting to birth at a birthing center...so that I don't have the option of an epidural. I can't be sure what I would do if I were in a hospital setting....

    ...Have an DH that was an anesthesiologist would be very hard...his version of normal is very different and it's his job to prevent pain. It will likely be difficult for him to see you in pain that he views as unnecessary. I would make sure he knows in advance that you need him to support your choice, especially when you are in a lot of pain. I would ask him not to recommend an epi during labor and to keep his mouth shut.
    There isn't a single birthing center within hours of here, so we opted to stick close with an OB that we knew had a good history of low intervention births. I would LOVE to birth at a BC, especially since I've had two relatively non-complicated vaginal births and know with the right support it would go well. DH was very good during labor last time about not saying a whole lot, but that was exactly the problem. Once I really needed him for support (transition- the last 3 hours), he didn't have a clue what to do because he wouldn't really practice with me or pay attention to all the things that he could do that were helpful. I think this time I will write things down for him to remember like: Offer to put counter-pressure on my back during contractions, offer to support me so I can remain standing up, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by mommys View Post
    I HIGHLY suggest, as PP did, that you get good support. A doula would be wonderful for your situation. You should have someone that can coach you through those long hours with restful and productive positions to help you along. Also, someone there t remind you what your initial goals are.
    We are discussing hiring a doula, but without going into details, it puts me in a very sticky situation with friends/family. This time I am definitely focusing on trying to help DH understand what he can do to support me. I also am going to make sure I have a good nurse that will support me (DH and I both work at the hospital I am delivering at).

    I suppose I just want a magic wand to wave and make myself completely committed to a med-free birth. I've been reading birth stories in the past few days and that really helps.
    Thanks for the encouragement. I need to keep telling myself I CAN do this.
    Beth

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    So I was doing some searching and found out that a girl I knew when I was in college is now a CPM in this area. She only does homebirths, but she does offer her services as a Montrice. Soooo, it might actually work out if my family knows she's a MW they might not view her as someone taking their place as much as someone there as a professional of sorts. She does cost a little more than a doula, but it might totally be worth it. I am still thinking/praying about it and haven't talked to DH about it yet, but it sounds promising....
    Beth

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