Thread: A few worries and questions!

Hi there again mommys!

I dont always post over here but I have a few times. But I'll introduce myself again to refresh your memories lol

My name is Ash, I am 23 this is my 4th pregnancy and 2nd birth. With my first I was induced at 36 weeks for pre-e and DDs heart rate and movements were low. I wanted to birth her naturally and went 8hours no meds 14 hours on basic pain reief and 2 on a semi working epi! My epi only worked on half my body then none then the same half again it was so strange. 24 hours of labor, 10 mins/3 pushes and poof my LO1 was here!

This time around I am really wanting to do this on my own in every way, no induction, no pain relief just me and my body doing what it was built to do!

My Worries:
-Giving in to pain relief of any kind
-Not having the tolerence/strength for birthing all natural
-Being induced again, the contractions with pit were IN FREAKING SANE. My nurses were shocked I went as long as I did with no meds or basic meds[my chances are looking good tho if my BP stays nice and low and I dont get pre-e again (:]
-Being talked into pain relief. hubby and I have a birth plan, he is all for me doing this naturally, but I know if I demanded it he would eventually let me cave in, he hates seeing me hurt.

My questions:
-Advice?! lol
-Any techniques or classes out there?
-Is it too late for a doula?
-Has anyone had a friend be their doula? Here you can have a friend take a class on what a doula does ect ect.

TIA (:

I was induced with my first and begged for an epidural at 3 cm (got it at 4). I didn't have any pain meds with my four other babies. Hypnosis was essential for me because pain rather terrifies me. I've used HypnoBirthing and Hypnobabies. I recommend Hypnobabies because it is more comprehensive and teaches more effective hypnosis techniques. I'll be using it again in June!

Giving into pain meds is why I give birth at home (Well, one of the reasons) With my second baby, all of my labor "support" encouraged the drugs. I still have insane pain in my spine from time to time where that fu(#!%g epidural was placed. And I feel like I totally failed.

I'm about to become a FTM, but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents anyway!

I DON'T think it is too late for a doula. I've known people who've gotten matched with even a primary care provider after 20 weeks pregnant, and have still been able to build great, positive relationships. I'm fortunate to be birthing with a group of certified, professional midwives- but if I were having a hospital birth I'd DEFINITELY get a doula. Honestly, I'd rather hire a seasoned professional than have a friend train, because they'd likely be a little better at negotiating with hospital staff. But that is just me

I had pit. with my first also and HAD to get an epi after a few hours with the pit. at the max it could go cause it was just way too unbearable. I went 34 hours natually with my 2nd and the difference was huge. If you do have to be induced see if there are other things that can be done to get you going instead of using pit. I'm with Laura on using hypnobabies as well. I've never been one that totally buys into hypnosis but I loved using that program during my last pregnancy and it really helped me to relax, focus my energy, and stay calm during intense moments. My midwives did tranfer with me to the hospital with my last birth and they were wonderful to have along so I can see having a doula being a good thing as well.

I knew giving into pain meds wasn't as issue birthing at home but my husband and I had a code word in the event that I felt I needed to move to the hospital. We used to code word system because I knew that I might ask to be moved or beg. for relief out of discomfort (heat of the moment type thing) rather than really really wanting to go. You could use a code word with your husband for pain meds as well. Like tell him that you might say you really want it but don't encourage you or take your words to heart unless you say the acutal code word.

I would recommend reading Hypnobirthing and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Both were fantastic books and really opened my eyes to just how much our bodies are capable of handling during labor and delivery in the right mindset. Good luck!

Thanks so much ladies! I have never heard of Hypnobabies/birth; that is something I will have to look into! I have the book by Ina [Hubby is actually wanting to read along with me] And I have started looking into a midwife that accepts my state insurance or a doula in the event I cant find a midwife I like (:

I had the same worries as you. I wasn't prepared for my first birth at all and got an epidural immediately and hated the side effects. With this baby I knew I wanted to go all natural. I read 'Easy Labor' and learned about HypnoBirthing which is what I used and was able to have the natural birth I had hoped for. It was amazing!!! I can't say that it was pain free, but the pain was nothing compared to my first labor and I even had intense back labor this time around. I think the key is to have a great support person too. I would have not been able to do it without DH.

If you look above my siggy picture, I have a slideshow of my birth and you can see me laughing and smiling in the pics. There are some that show me in some discomfort as well. LOL! I hired a professional photographer and she even said that she was going to use HypnoBirthing for her next birth because she was amazed at how calm and relaxing my birth was. Good luck in your decision and I really hope you get the natural birth you long for. It really is an amazing experience!

good to see you over here . my best suggestion would be to read and soak up as many natural labor stories as possible and see how each one is very different. Ina May's guide is awesome and empowering and she speaks so highly of the process and to trust ourselves. She also has some great techniques for everything. I would also suggest doing some exercises to process and release the fears you have. Lastly, labor as long as possible at home, if you hire a doula she should be able to come be with you at home and decide when to head in. That being said trust yourself and know that labor can also progress quickly, don't wait too long at home either . And hang out here, it's a great place!

I also recommend Hypnobabies! I was induced with #1 and got an epidural and had a spontaneous, drug-free birth using Hypnobabies with #2 and I was amazed at how much easier it was with the tools from Hypnobabies and not having pitocin! I never once asked for drugs. A lot of the time, care providers are facinated by hypnosis for childbirth and they really want you to succeed so they can see how it works, so they will often support your plan.

I do like the "code word" idea. I think it helps for your support team to know when you are serious about needing pain relief as opposed to just needing more support and encouragement and not being able to express that.

And I agree that it is definitely not too late to hire a doula! I think 24 weeks is actually probably a pretty standard time to find one! Having a professional is beneficial because, as someone outside your social circle, she will be less likely to encourage pain meds because of feeling sorry for you like a friend or family member might. Also, she will know more about the process of birth, birth support methods, and typical hospital procedures. Hopefully, if she has training, she will also understand the limits of her role (she doesn't give medical advice or speak to care providers on your behaf) and how to communicate peacefully with the medical staff, though there are some bad doulas out there, even among those who are certified.