First OB Appt, Dh Stepped up!

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DJMandyB's picture
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First OB Appt, Dh Stepped up!

For DS's birth DH was really hesitant. He was scared and of the opinion that I should really listen to what the doctors said.

Well, we had our first appt with our OB. He is not the one who delivered DS, he is the one who did my surgery to fix the damage my previous OB did. We started in his office and spent half an hour going over DS's birth, my wishes for this birth and my OBs feeling on my wishes. I was so proud of DH, not only was he engaged for the first time, but he had a list of things from DS's birth that he referred to as "cruel and unusual" and was upfront with the doctor of not finding those acceptable this time around. I hadn't even spoken with him about any of this before the appt because I know he got tired of hearing about it last time and I figured he didn't care. Its so nice to feel like I'm going into this with a partner who is on the same page.

Some of the things that were discussed:

*Induction will not be brought up until 40 weeks and it will only be brought up then because the hospital requires it to be scheduled 2 weeks in advance
*Walking during labor is not only allowed but encouraged (I know that sounds like a no brainer but last time I was threatened with a c-section if I didn't either lie in bed or sit in the rocking chair)
*Any discussion of medical intervention will be offered with a full explanation (we went over things in DS's birth and he explained both sides of the argument and what he would have suggested).
*C-section is only an option in a life threatening emergency, not because things are taking too long.
*Natural labor is his preference but if I do decide I need pain meds he recommends an epi though it will only be available by request.
*Unless a problem is detected intermittent fetal monitoring is preferred.
*If I didn't live so darn far from a hospital he would support a homebirth.

Sorry this is so long. I wasn't even expecting to get into most of this stuff so early on and we were able to go into alot of detail. I am excited to feel like I am going into this with a strong partner and a compatible doctor. Now I just need to find a doula!

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That's wonderful! Go DH!! So glad that you feel supported by your OB - that's so important.

faeriecurls's picture
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Glad DH stepped up and you have an OB that is willing to listen and support you.

krazykat's picture
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Wow!!! Go DH and go you for standing up for what you want!! It sounds like your OB is fantastic. What a great appointment!!

CaBlondie918's picture
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Go DH for helping with the appointment Biggrin That's great you're all on the same page and good luck with the doula search!

cmljll's picture
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A supportive DH makes such a difference! Your OB sounds a lot like mine:-) GL in your doula search!

sarahsunshine's picture
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WOW! GReat!

Now, if you want a home birth, and your doctor is supportive, is it possible to stay at a friend's house who is both supportive and lives closer to the hospital? I ask this because a friend of mine did just that (they lived 4 hours from the hospital), and she spent 37+ weeks at a friend's house and had a home birth that she wouldn't change for the world.

Also, here, since there are very few midiwves outside the city, many people will come donw and rent a hotel room to birth, while staying with friends/family in the meantime.

Just a suggestion!

But I'm so happy for you that your DH stepped up and you found a good doctor who can work with your wishes!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
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That's great! Your OB sounds awesome and it is wonderful that your DH is showing interest in your care!

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that's great that DH is so supportive. It is so helpful to have that!

Melychang's picture
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That is wonderful!!

DJMandyB's picture
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Sarahsunshine, thats great advice. Unfortuneately I only have 1 friend who lives close to the hospital and I know that is really out of her comfort range. Despite his recent engagement with the birthing process, I'm pretty sure DH would flip out if I suggested a hotel birth. I'm thinking baby #3 will be planned so that I can work to accomodate a home birth.