A fun post

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Amber_daisy's picture
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A fun post

A friend of mine was looking for positive/inspiring/empowering quotes for her journal that she's doing for a childbirth class she's taking. I immediately thought of this one, which has become my favorite:

"Keep your sense of humor - it's a priceless gem which keeps you remembering where it's at. If you can't be a hero, you can at least be funny while being a chicken." Ina May Gaskin.

I think that most people probably say at least one funny/unexpected/uninhibited thing during labour....usually in active labour or transition.

I was a total chicken during my labour this time. I tried to be the hero with DS1 and it didn't work so well for me. I'm much better suited to being a chicken. So I decided to plan for it and go with it. And true to form, that was me in labour with Quinn. A couple of things my family and birth team got a laugh out of...
..."I wish I had that f*cking gas!"
..."I changed my mind. I can't do this!"
both of which I said in the 10 minutes before Quinn was born.

So, I'm wondering what all the other chickens out there have said during their labours/births that people have had a chuckle at? Biggrin

emommyof2's picture
Last seen: 4 years 2 weeks ago
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Though I don't remember it at all, according to hubby with every birth I have announced (right about the time the baby crowns)

"Wait why did I think I could do this? OUCH! That ************ (that goes on for awhile) HURTS!"

as well as....

"I don't remember this sucking this badly last time? Did I whine then too?"

Being a smart man he never answers that last one while I'm actually giving birth, just laughs at me after for it. He however is not smart enough not to break out the Bill Cosby routine mid transition... and for those unfamiliar:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYR9xX6DvpM (part one)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOP52g_rO24&feature=fvwrel (part two... and the best part imho)

I'm now going to go re-watch that since I find it hilarious when I'm NOT in active labor Blum 3

joysiloo's picture
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I went from 3cm to 10cm very quickly and the nurses were trying to get me to wait on the doctor to push - they told me he was with another patient. I yelled "well, when that b**** goes from 3 to 10 in an hour then maybe she can see him. Now it's MY turn!".

It still makes me blush to think that I said that.

emansmom's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 months ago
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Well my favorite inspiring quote is,
" I am not afraid, I was born to do this!" --Joan of Arc It is actually on the wall at the birth center I gave birth at.

Things I have said during labor,
"I change my mind I don't want to do this labor thing anymore" -While getting in the car to go to the birth center.

You know I cannot think of anything else! I know there were some other non sense things I must have said but I will have to ask my hubby!

Last seen: 1 year 9 months ago
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Oh man. This one haunts me. lol. Violet's birth was pretty calm, but Fiona's was PAINFUL!!! On top of that we recorded the sounds of her birth for a documentary so I have it all on tape. lol. Poor David Suzuki.

One of the reasons I birth at home is BECAUSE I am a wimp!!! I know if I were at a hospital I'd be begging for any drugs they could give me. lol.

Last seen: 4 years 1 week ago
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Hmmm, let's see...

DS1... Was a super long labor and I couldn't eat/drink anything (I was allowed, but I just kept throwing up), I was so thirsty and my mouth so dry. As soon as I was done pushing I would say "ICE!" and Dh would pop a piece of ice into my mouth just to wet it and I would spit it back out before the next push. My Mom likes to (jokingly) bring up how bossy I was.

DD1... I was expecting a LONG drawn out labor again and was 2cm. The contractions were pretty intense and I was having trouble keeping on top of them despite it being "early labor". I told DH, "I don't know why I'm being such a wimp this time. It really hurts!!" Ya, baby was born like 10 min later. Th whole labor was 90 min, probably 30 min of active labor. That explains what I was feeling!

DS2... I had been coping just fine standing up. Laid down to get checked and then didn't get up and was having a lot more pain laying on my back and was saying stuff like "this hurts too much" "I can't do this much longer" etc... The nurse says quietly "Why don't you stand up again?" DUH... My problem solving skills were obviously not at there finest.

DD2... I had told I mw I really, really didn't want to tear this time (I had ever other time). So, the baby is crowning and she is coaching me to breathe, little pushes, etc as my other kids all came barreling out. It was really, really hard not to push with all my might, so I say "NEVER MIND! I don't care if I tear. I DON'T CARE" Oy!

ETA. I only needed literally one stitch along my old scar line, so hats off to the mw!

Spacers's picture
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Here's the setup: I've been in labor for three days, spent a few hours pushing that morning, then a few hours *not* pushing, then a few hours on Pitocin with an epidural that wasn't working. It was now about 8pm and I decided to have a c-section. What do I say? "I'm not having much fun anymore."


LMCH's picture
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i don't remember being comical in DS1's birth. after pushing for a while (he was OP and I pushed for almost 1 1/2 hours) I asked everyone/no one in particular: "am I making ANY progress?!?!" the nurse reassured me that baby was moving down, she proved it to me by showing me that they moved the monitoring belt down.

this time around, I was in rare form, haha. I wasn't chicken, just being an a$$. luckily it didn't get very intense until my water was broken and he was born 40 minutes later. this time when someone cut us off in traffic on the way to the center I said something like "come on people...lady with a baby!" and told DH not to let someone pull out in front of us telling him "don't be nice, i'm in labor!"

once at the birth center, I said a few things... my favorite being during transition when I started feeling nauseated. I got out of the tub to pee and had to lean on DH and sway through an contraction. I started saying sorry if I puke on you...then I backpedaled and said, no I have to push out a baby, even if you get puked on, I win Lol later when I puked a little, I was like "hmm, glamorous!" :roll:

eta: I forgot during DS1's birth, when waiting in the ER lobby in a wheelchair, I told DH that "they better F***ing hurry" when waiting for someone from OB to come take me up to the OB floor.

jonibug's picture
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It isn't what I said, it is what dh said that is funny. The nurse was gearing me up for practice pushes and while I had a contraction, I did the whole breathe while they count to ten deal. The nurse was trying to explain how I should push like I had a bowel movement and dh immediately quipped, " push like it is the biggest turd of your life!". The nurse hung her head down between my legs trying not to laugh but I started laughing. I spit all over the nurse b/c I had been holding my breath and it all came out in one long raspberry. We gave up on that contraction. Lol