Had my meeting 2nite with the m/w about a HBA2C

11 posts / 0 new
Last post
momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634
Had my meeting 2nite with the m/w about a HBA2C

I had my meeting tonight with the m/w and I'm sad to say that I just didn't love her. I liked her allright, but I was really wanting to go in there and be completely comfortable with her and know that was what I wanted. I didn't feel that.

She said 1 thing that really bothered me too. I asked about how long she would let me gestate and she said 40 weeks was the limit. She couldn't give me any exact reason but said there were studies that said VBAC's get dangerous past 40 weeks, but she wasn't sure if it increased UR rates or what. I've done a lot of research and have NEVER come across anything that suggests it's dangerous past 40 weeks. That bothers me, because with both of my kids I have been induced so I have no idea how long I normally gestate. So, then what do I do when I get past 40 weeks. I will have a dr that can do u/s and bloodwork, but not a true back-up dr for the homebirth. So, at 40 weeks I'll be what......out on my own?!

Plus another thing that bothers me is that she talked about if baby had a couple of decels that would warrant a transfer. Well, if I transfer, I would have to go to the closest hospital and as soon as I walk in that door I know it will be hostile, especially if they find out it was an attempted homebirth. They will section me so freaking fast you wouldn't believe it. Or, my DH would be left to fight them off because the m/w can help us get there but cannot go in with us in any capacity.

Talk me through this girls. I was just so set that I would go there and love her and the decision would be made. Now, I'm back to square one! Also, IL has prosecuted so many m/w's that there just aren't any left here. I have contacted everyone I could think of and she is the only m/w that would even consider me!

I have an appt with my OB next Thursday and I'm going to talk to him about a VBA2C, but I truly don't think their office will do one. I also am making an appointment with another supposed VBAC friendly dr soon. If neither one of those will do a VBA2C I will have to go to St. Louis which is about 2 hours from here to talk to the next closest VBAC dr.

I'm exhausted already and I've only just begun Sad

rainymama's picture
Joined: 08/24/07
Posts: 409

I am so sorry you are feeling discouraged. I have no experience to share with you, but you have really thought things out, and know what you want. It's just not right that you shouldn't be able to get that. 40 weeks is so cut and dry. It sounds like that is her policy, and maybe she is just trying to protect herself, since it sounds risky for her to be doing this in the first place. I am totally on your side, please don't think I am not. I really really hope things work out.

MommyHopeful3's picture
Joined: 02/11/07
Posts: 108

But you still have time. You are not due until October. So who knows what could happen. I would make sure you have a back up doc that is more likely to work with you for a VBAC.

Were both your inductions before 40 weeks? If so, there is still a chance that you might be fine and go natural before or at 40. I think that would bother me too. It is also my fear with trying for a home birth since I was induced at 41+ weeks.

I am sorry that you don't feel warm and fuzzy about her. She might just be warning you so that you will know that worst case, you will be transfered. And I think it is crap that she can't at least come in as a support person for you.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Honestly it sounds like she is covering hersef do to the risk she has. I would meet with the other doctors and see what you think. But I really would not hesitate to go to St Louis if you have to. Or do you have family in anywhere that is more VBAC friendly. A woman in my LLL went to Kansas City (4 hours away) for her VBAC since she felt she would get a better experience and was happy she did. I would consider travel to get the exsperience you want. Where are you in Illinois? There is a group of amazing mws in Eastern Iowa who are traveling mws. They do VBACs, breech, twins and are really knowledgeable. They may be worth contacting. I know they travel in Illinois, but not sure how far. My freind had her twins with them.

AJsmommy's picture
Joined: 05/08/07
Posts: 289

Wow, that is a difficult position to be in. You do have time though and I bet you'll be able to find a good solution.

I'm in St. Louis so if there is anything I can do to help, let me know.

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

That is a tough situation. I would keep looking a vbac is worth the fight and I know you can do it. Good luck!

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

That's rough, I don't blame you for feeling disappointed.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

I'm not upset that she has certain things that she won't do like letting me go past 40 weeks. What concerns me is that she couldn't tell me why. I don't like that. If you tell me that something is dangerous, I feel like you should be able to tell me why. It's something I've never read before and I've read a LOT about VBAC's. It just made me uncomfortable that she had a policy, but didn't know why, kwim?

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

I have read it in one of the studies that a risk factor for VBAC is being "overdue". I am trying to find which study it was, and if I do I will send it to you. That being said, you know how low all the risks are for all that stuff. And I agree, if she feels strongly about that, then you need to know why AND she needs to know why lol.

That sucks that your meeting didn't go well. Do you think she is worth trying at all, or were you completely put off? I mean would she be willing to negotiate anything at all? You would almost have more flexibility with an OB as far as going past your EDD. And how does she determine your due date? Does she just go by what you say your LMP was? If so, I don't know if you would feel comfortable with it, but you could always "fudge" it a little.

I really hate that you are so locked down in Illinois by the laws. I definitely understand your frustration and feelings of exhaustion with the process. I have also had moments when I just wanted to give and agree to a hospital birth. In any case, I have faith that you will make the best of the resources you have.

Here's some "keep on truckin" vibes your way!! (((HUGS)))

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

I can't find the specific study that mentions it, but I did find that the Mayo Clinic simply states that VBAC is less likely if you are past your EDD... but funny how it doesn't mention why lol. It stated that the risk of uterine rupture does not increase. And ACOG states in this pamphlet (http://www.acog.org/publications/patient_education/bp070.cfm) that women can still VBAC after their EDD.

Now I want to call the MW and ask her what her source was on that lol. I hate to be contradictory, but if she is putting information out there, she needs to be willing to back it up.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"krazykat" wrote:

Now I want to call the MW and ask her what her source was on that lol. I hate to be contradictory, but if she is putting information out there, she needs to be willing to back it up.

That's exactly how I feel too! I sent her an e-mail and expressed my concern over this time limit. I think that if she would reconsider that point that I would feel comfortable seeing her and building a relationship with her. It wasn't love at first meeting, but that doesn't mean that over time I couldn't become comfortable with her, kwim?

I also thought about the transfer problem too. I have no faith in our local OB's as far as the fact that they won't section me, but maybe if I got a doula also she could transfer with me and be my advocate and buffer to them. I don't want to put myself or my baby in any danger, but I just have a gut feeling that the local OB's would tell me just about anything to get me into the OR so I want to know the actual facts, not just what they say, kwim?

I'm so confused. I really don't want to give up on the homebirth route, but I don't want to settle with a midwife just because she's the only one.