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  1. #51
    Posting Addict abkinsey's Avatar
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    Just to add....do you ever look back to the first days/weeks/months after a traumatic birth and wonder how in the HECK you managed to make it through? I have been thinking about that and I am in absolute awe...
    Anne, mommy to five:
    Lillian, born 12-24-10
    Will, born 10-19-07
    New little one, due 9-19-2012
    Lucas Robert, born to Jesus @ 18 weeks on 12-26-08 (due 5-28-09)
    Ectopic Angel 10-24-06


  2. #52
    Posting Addict cmljll's Avatar
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    For sure! A year ago this time I was laying in bed recovering from a c-section and had a newborn who would SCREAM if he was anywhere but in someone's arms! Night 2 in the hospital - I was supposed to be resting and got 2 1/2 hours sleep...
    Connie
    Wife to Jesse (October '96)
    Mommy to Ethan (July '07) & Gabriel (December '09)

    Follow my journey to a healthier me! http://cmlhealth.blogspot.com/

    Parenting blog http://christian-ap-momma.blogspot.com/



  3. #53
    Posting Addict abkinsey's Avatar
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    That is absolutely amazing, Connie. I remember supposedly "resting" in the hospital...yeah I think we got a TOTAL of 3 hours in the four days we were there. Blech!
    Anne, mommy to five:
    Lillian, born 12-24-10
    Will, born 10-19-07
    New little one, due 9-19-2012
    Lucas Robert, born to Jesus @ 18 weeks on 12-26-08 (due 5-28-09)
    Ectopic Angel 10-24-06


  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by abkinsey View Post
    Just to add....do you ever look back to the first days/weeks/months after a traumatic birth and wonder how in the HECK you managed to make it through? I have been thinking about that and I am in absolute awe...
    I wonder that too. I really do. I am thankful that my father gave me the opportunity to stay home for another 4 weeks. I couldn't imagine going back after just 4 weeks.

    I feel like a hypocrite coming to this board sometimes, too. Even more, I'm so scared that I'll get pregnant again. I don't know what I'd do if I hit 42 weeks.
    Sandi--
    Tess--2.21.08
    Quinn--7.10.09

  5. #55
    Posting Addict abkinsey's Avatar
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    Sandi, I'm glad that your father was able to help you be able to stay home longer. I know that must have made a huge difference for you.

    I know how it is to feel a bit hypocritical in some senses, but you know, there are so many of us on this board who have had interventions, and many, many who have had traumatic births. I try to remember that and in alot of ways feel like I have learned through the school of hard knocks just how important this stuff is, ykwim?

    That's one thing for me. I really do want to get pregnant again. But, I do have my fears. What if my bp is high? What if my water breaks and there's meconium again but I want to have a homebirth? What if, what if, what if .

    I know that the fear cycle is huge for me. Fear was a big part of what led me to stay with the care providers I had while pg with Will (I was afraid that because of some health conditions I have that I'd nearly die in childbirth). Fear prompted me to not fight harder against the interventions I did have during birth.

    We live in a culture and a time where fear and birth unfortunately go hand in hand. It was my experience, in Will's birth, that things started going right when I could let go of the fear and trust the process. So, I equally know that it's important for me to face my fears now, even before I am pregnant with the next child.

    Yeah, I've done alot of research, so many times I have the "textbook" answer to my fear, but I find that is so different from really resolving fears on a deep level. So...that is what I continue to work through. For me, it helps to hear others' birth stories. It helps to hear about how others handled what I fear happening and how things played out for them. I start to think that maybe if they can do "xyz" that I can too.
    Anne, mommy to five:
    Lillian, born 12-24-10
    Will, born 10-19-07
    New little one, due 9-19-2012
    Lucas Robert, born to Jesus @ 18 weeks on 12-26-08 (due 5-28-09)
    Ectopic Angel 10-24-06


  6. #56
    Posting Addict cmljll's Avatar
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    I stayed away from this board for a while after Ethan was born. It just hurt too much... Too much of a reminder of how hard I prepared while I was pregnant, how determined I was to prove the naysayers wrong, how determined I was to do things the best way I could for Ethan... All the things that didn't happen...

    The last month of pregnancy my blood pressure shot up. Every appointment ended with a trip to L&D for a NST. Then the u/s that showed my amniotic fluid was gone. Before that u/s I just knew something wasn't right. But to have it confirmed was crushing. My cervix was high and tight - no hope of an induction working.

    So I ended up with a c-section without one contraction...

    Then twice in the first week and a half Ethan almost ended up back in the hospital. And because of those issues I wasn't able to breastfeed and my supply didn't have a chance to get established. Despite 2 prescription drugs and numerous herbs my supply never came. I had planned on exclusively BF'ing and doing it way past a year old. We even syringe fed him instead of giving him a bottle while I tried to get my supply up. It was a pain but I didn't want nipple confusion.

    So I didn't get even close to the birth I wanted, and the double whammy of not being able to BF on top of it...

    I got so sick of the comments when people were trying to be helpful. "C-section isn't a big deal" "I didn't BF my kids and there's nothing wrong with them" etc.

    I'm really not bitter about any of it. And I feel a lot better than I used to. But it still hurts... Especially since we don't know if we'll have another baby. But I don't want to get pregnant for the purpose of trying to do things right this time, kwim?
    Connie
    Wife to Jesse (October '96)
    Mommy to Ethan (July '07) & Gabriel (December '09)

    Follow my journey to a healthier me! http://cmlhealth.blogspot.com/

    Parenting blog http://christian-ap-momma.blogspot.com/



  7. #57
    Robinna
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    The urge to get pregnant is strong. Not because I want another child - because I want to repair the birth. I try to tell myself that having another birth is not going to fix what happened with Miriam; it's done, it's not changeable. It will never be changeable. I accept my role in what happened but it still makes me angry. I am so angry with my MW, who I trusted, who I love(d) with my whole heart. I couldn't stay out of her fear. She lied - or at least, wrongly implied - about who she called for me. I'm starting to consider, now, over 2 years later, having a meeting with her. I suppose I'm due for a well-woman although I have no urge to go in (am I a total freak that pap smears don't make me feel better? I just don't care about them and don't feel any urge to get one), it would be a "non-artificial" way to get in the same room and have a chat. Why do I feel I can't just call her up and talk to her about it? Am I still that concerned about her feelings, NOW, as I still walk around with my nasty itchy keloid scar and horrible periods? I am so totally convinced that my terrible periods have to do with the c/s, or at least with the chiro problems I have had since then. I believe I have the chiro problems because my bones never got stretched open birthing miriam, so they never got a chance to slide back into their places and firm up. I still have a "late pregnant pelvis" with all the instability and SI joint pain that goes with that. Angry. Angry angry angry.

  8. #58
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    Hello all. I'm in my 5th pregnancy, expecting twins. I'm terriby far along and maybe it is too premature to start worrying about the birth until the 1st trimester is over. However, I do want some direction as to how to manuever myself away from a c/s. I'm AMA and I am pregnant with twins. None of previous pregnancies involved a c/s. I don't want one now but I do think statistically my chances just shot up.

    Help

  9. #59
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    sorry I meant to say I'm not terriby far along.

  10. #60
    Posting Addict abkinsey's Avatar
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    sending you a pm...
    Anne, mommy to five:
    Lillian, born 12-24-10
    Will, born 10-19-07
    New little one, due 9-19-2012
    Lucas Robert, born to Jesus @ 18 weeks on 12-26-08 (due 5-28-09)
    Ectopic Angel 10-24-06


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