As natural birthing mamas, each one of us has big plans about what will and won't happen during our births. We have hopes, expectations, and dreams about following our own intuition, letting nature take its course, and learning about our bodies and babies through this primal and life-changing event.
But no matter how educated, strong, and passionate about natural birth a mom is, medical complications can come up. Thank goodness we have doctors, midwives, and hospitals for those situations when it's medically necessary. Or, during labor you may make unexpected decisions about what you want that weren't what you planned. Later on you may have some regret. Labor and delivery is a time when a woman is vulnerable, suggestible, and may need support she didn't plan on. People attending the birth (staff or family and friends) may say or do unhelpful things that lead you to feel hurt physically and emotionally.
Please feel welcome to continue posting on our board even if you had medical interventions or made unexpected decisions during birth. This board is about an attitude towards birth, not what did or didn't happen during a specific birth. And while much of the world may say "who cares, you got a healthy baby, didn't you? Forget it!" Here on Birthing Naturally we are not going to forget it, we understand perhaps more than others that the mom and birthing experience are important and valuable too.
In this thread we invite you to share your healing process with us as you deal with your birth experience in the postpartum days. Despite the arrival of a beautiful baby, you may have anger or grief about the birth itself. Even a good birth can have parts that leave you feeling disappointed. Here is a place to express your feelings, get sympathy, and know that even if your birth wasn't 100% how you envisioned it, that doesn't change that you are a natural birthing mama.
Please only post responses about dealing with your own experience in this thread. Comments to improve it or support someone should go in a separate posting.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
What happened during your birth?
What went wrong?
How did you feel about it?
What hurt the most?
How did you cope?
Who helped you?
Who was no help at all?
Who would you punch in the face if you could?
Did you have a would've could've should've moment?
What did you do that you're proud of?
What would you tell other women to warn them?
What do you wish you'd known ahead of time?
How can you come out of this feeling that you grew from this experience?
Talk with your doctor or midwife
Talk with supportive friends or family
Keep a journal about your experience, not just what happened but also your feelings
Make some art based on your experience
Sing, chant, or say prayers to aid your deep processing
Make an affirmation towards your healing
Take action within your community