Hello...can I vent?
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Thread: Hello...can I vent?

  1. #1
    Super Poster Ktotherystal's Avatar
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    Default Hello...can I vent?

    Ok, So I haven't been here FOREVER!! We are trying like crazy to conceive baby number 3. I had a C-section with DS and a HVBAC with DD. We are in the process of possibly moving out of state and going to live in a "family" owned home. DH just talked to his aunt, the one in charge of making all the decisions about the house, and she gave him "4 stipulations" of living there. I can mostly agree and live with 3 of the 4... but I am SOO SOO SOO (can I make this more obvious or emphatic?) peeved that she would say the 4th....NO HOMEBIRTH!!

    In her defense she is the head ER nurse for a hospital, so sees the worst of the worst...but come on, who is she to tell me where I can and can't have my babies?? DD was born in a rented apartment...no one had any problems..it's not like it will de-value the house...I am just out of control raged tjat she would put that stipulation on it...ok vent over.. Maybe haha.

    So now my question...what would you do/say to convince or argue that??

    or..please tell me if I am totally out of place feeling this way!
    Last edited by Ktotherystal; 02-05-2011 at 08:32 PM.
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  2. #2
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    Just labour at home for "a while"... OOPS! Laboured too long! Can't transport now the baby is crowning! hehehe
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    yup, i'm with Alison. OOPS. LOL.
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    Posting Addict gardenbug's Avatar
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    Is it possible that she doesn't want you moving in and added that stipulation for other reasons? Sounds like she is giving red lights about interacting with her in the future. It is not her business to butt into your family's choices.
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    Posting Addict Marite13's Avatar
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    Um, yeah, that would REALLY piss me off too. I would either do what the others said- do it anyway and ask forgiveness (if you have to) afterward, or... I don't know. Whether or not she is a medical professional, she has no right to tell you how or where to give birth. I would be worried that if she is trying to put such non-related rules on living in the house, what else she might stick her nose into later.
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  6. #6
    Mega Poster Shummel's Avatar
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    She sounds like a control freak - you may hate renting from her in general If she's really serious about it and will not let you "plead your case" - you might want to rethink giving her so much access to your life by being your landlord - kwim??
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    Prolific Poster cindyanns's Avatar
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    I can completely understand how that would be frustrating, since it does seem like she's saying she doesn't support your decisions for homebirths. Plus, you're right, it doesn't devalue the house and as long as you're responsible (go to the hospital at the right time if there's an emergency, have a good midwife to assist, have the right supplies, ect), homebirths are very safe. It's a bit irrational of her.

    However, it is *her* decision about the home and she doesn't have to let it out to you. If she doesn't want a homebirth in the house for whatever reason, unfortunately you guys should respect it. I can totally relate to you in the fact that it is a *little* offensive, and a bit controlling, but she's still willing to do a favor for you. You can choose not to accept it and find a different home if a homebirth really means that much to you.

    I'd look at it the same as some people not allowing pets in their home, even if it's a hamster or something. The hamster obviously isn't going to devalue the house if you're responsible, but they have the right to say no, you know?
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    Prolific Poster cindyanns's Avatar
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    And a side note, I agree with everyone else. You'd probably be miserable renting from her cause that is a really weird stipulation and sounds controlling... You're probably better off finding somewhere else.
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  9. #9
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    Have you talked to her about why no homebirth? You can't really argue with her about it until she gives you her reasons. Maybe she does have a valid reason (not that I know of one, b/c I do think it's crazy that she says no homebirth!) that you don't know about?

    Good luck!
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    Posting Addict jolly11sd's Avatar
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    That would annony me to no end. What an odd rule. It would be interesting to find out her rational about it. Either way though renting a house from someone really gives them no control over what you do with your body while in that house. If i was renting a place I wouldn't even tell my landlord that I was giving birth in the property, just not their business. I guess maybe if there is a birth tub set up that could leak/break and lead to water damage (falls in the waterbed realm, kinda).
    ~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)


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