So DH wants me to make a plan for his, well more of a script of 'If this happens then do this.' 'or ask this'.
This is what I have so far
If you want to know about possible pain meds in case I ask, please take nurse out of ear shot and then ask.
If they say all they can do is an epidural please inform them that the last time I had an epidural it stalled my labor even though I was at 8cm and if they don’t want to use pitocin on a patient attempting a vaginal birth after 2 c-sections that they should come up with a different plan or do a better job of helping me cope with contractions.
If docs start talking about a c-sec get all details on why. Ask if we can wait an hour if it is something like no progress in dilation and/or pushing.
If they won’t give us an hour ask for more details and then a minute for us to talk and see what the plan might be, or at least come to terms with a plan.
Double check and ask about all meds they want to give me, including IVs.
If you decide that you want to catch baby tell the doc!
Make sure they let you cut the cord, the first org cut. If you need to remind them.
Remind them I want baby asap and then leave me and baby alone if possible, or at least baby. If stitches are needed do what is needed and leave me be.
Don’t let them start tugging out the placenta after baby arrives, remind them we want to wait at least an hour before they take more physical measure to remove it. I don’t need to end up with more bleeding than necessary.
I want you with baby at all times.
If baby needs to be taken away for something, make sure they let you know why and where and that you will go with them.
Tiff + Bobby 8/22/04
This is great. My DH could have used something like this for our 2 previous births. Maybe you could also add the informed consent questions? Something like this:
If they suggest doing anything, ask:
1. Is this an emergency, or do we have time to talk?
2. What would be the benefits of doing this?
3. What would be the risks?
4. If we do this, what other procedures or treatments might we end up needing as a result?
5. What else could we try first or instead?
6. What would happen if we waited an hour or two (a day or two, a week or two, etc.) before doing it?
7. What would happen if we didn't do it at all?
I'm just going to add something I saw on "The Unnecessarean" today when I was poking around. It was about VBAC in the military. I know you're not military but your DH is. One of the comments on that thread was a woman who was threatened into consenting to an induction for fear of reprisal. Make sure that your DH knows that you have full & complete autonomy even if you're in a military hospital, and they also can't sanction him if you don't follow a doctor's orders, regardless of rank.
And print out the informed consent questions on a card so they're handy.
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wow! these are great! this is something every couple should have, even if planning a hb. I don't have any other suggestions, but if I think of anything I'll definitely add it.
~Ayelet & Yoram
NJ, USA to Israel 12/29/08
Welcome baby boy!! 26.7.13
Rambling on at http://milkandhoneymomma.blogspot.com
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thanks for all the input.
Tiff + Bobby 8/22/04
Tell them you want your DH to do skin to skin if you can't....
HEre was what my doula wrote up in case of transfer etc.
If you are reading this, then please know we did all we could at the Austin Area Birthing Center to deliver our son and now we need medical assistance. Thank you for your assistance in helping us deliver our baby boy safely.
Hospital Transfer/ Vaginal Delivery
We would like to have the option of trying different pushing positions, including using a squat bar, side-lying, etc...if applicable.
Vacuum or forceps may be used only as a last minute resort to c-section.
Hospital Transfer/ C-Section Delivery
Please be aware Amy has a high resistance to pain medications. Amy or her husband will need to speak with the anesthesiologist in order to ensure proper dosage of medication is administered.
Delay cord clamping if possible.
If mother and baby are healthy, we would like baby to remain with mother for the remainder of the surgery and in the recovery room.
If Amy is unconscious or not fully awake, either Tim (husband) or doula will hold baby on her chest for immediate skin to skin care.
In case of emergency with baby to NICU, Tim will remain with baby and also do skin to skin if possible.
We are prepared to sign a waiver as we do not want our son to receive any vaccinations, including Hepatitis B and the eye ointment.
We do want the Vitamin K shot.
We want to delay the bath and keep baby with us for as long as possible.
For your records, our pediatrician is Dr. Chang with Treehouse Pediatrics (512.255.886
We do not plan on circumcising our son.
Tyler James born via c-section May 29, 2008 7lb 8 oz 20 inches
Bradley Christian born in the water April 10, 2011 8 lb 6oz 20.5 inches
This might seem totally minor, but it was one of the best things my DH did during our DD's birth. A point came at which I was really far gone, and was walking around naked and in pain and totally in my own world, but there wasn't anything really HAPPENING. A bunch of nurses had started to kind of hover and putter in my room, and DH, knowing that I am normally a very modest person and remembering that I had repeatedly expressed my desire to be left alone with him as much as possible during the birth, went out while I was in the bathroom and asked them "Hey, are there any checks or procedures that need to happen in the next few minutes?" And when they said no, he asked politely but firmly if they could please leave us alone to labor in private until the next necessary check. At that point I didn't think I cared if a marching band was in the room, but he knew better and he was right--he protected my space for me when I could not, and it ended up being really wonderful to be able to relax and focus without a bunch of people hovering over me.
So you might think about adding something along those lines