Hi. I'm back for another try.

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AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033
Hi. I'm back for another try.

I am so sad that this site is so slow right now. I am officially knocked up with #3! In a new city, still in Texas and this time going for a VBA2C. I am terrified since my VBAC attempt was thwarted, and I still have some unresolved issues regarding that whole experience. However, I am ever hopeful that since I now have access to experienced midwives and a birth center that I can actually give birth this time. This is in every likelihood my last pregnancy, so I naturally want everything to be perfect, and I know it won't be perfect but I hope for something close.

I have an appointment at the birth center on Monday and would love your input on good questions to ask them. Things that may not be posted on their website kinda stuff.

I hope things pick up around here! I'd love to see this place get active again. My EDD is 5/18/14.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Hi, Anna! So happy to see you over here again! The more preggos we can get on the board, the livelier it will be....fingers crossed!

Here's a site I found with some good questions when touring a birth center. Questions to Ask on a Birth Center Tour: Choosing a Birth Setting

knhoward's picture
Joined: 04/22/08
Posts: 999

Congrats on your pregnancy, I remember you from April 2012 (I was in May 2012) I hope you are able to find great midwives and have your VBA2C. A close friend of mine was able to do that a few years ago with her 3rd and everything went well, though she had to do a long of "fighting" for herself and educating doctors on the benefits/risks of VBAC.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

I remember being so sad for you after your second birth. I sure hope this one goes well! The link Leigh posted is great & covers pretty much everything to ask about generally, but I'd also ask a few VBAC-specific questions. How many VBAC attempts did you have in the last year? How many of them were successful? How many of them had to transfer, and for what reasons? Will my being labeled as "VBAC" change how you care for me? If they say, we'll want to do more monitoring, then maybe ask why and what kind? If they say no, maybe ask how they'll know if things aren't going well. If they say, we're limited by law to this or that or the other, ask for the specific legislation (and look it up yourself!) and ask how they might work with those limitations. Also, IIRC your last labor was going pretty slowly, so you might want to ask what kinds of natural things they might do to help speed things up this time if necessary. Good luck to you, wishing you a peaceful, easy pregnancy!

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

"Spacers" wrote:

I remember being so sad for you after your second birth. I sure hope this one goes well! The link Leigh posted is great & covers pretty much everything to ask about generally, but I'd also ask a few VBAC-specific questions. How many VBAC attempts did you have in the last year? How many of them were successful? How many of them had to transfer, and for what reasons? Will my being labeled as "VBAC" change how you care for me? If they say, we'll want to do more monitoring, then maybe ask why and what kind? If they say no, maybe ask how they'll know if things aren't going well. If they say, we're limited by law to this or that or the other, ask for the specific legislation (and look it up yourself!) and ask how they might work with those limitations. Also, IIRC your last labor was going pretty slowly, so you might want to ask what kinds of natural things they might do to help speed things up this time if necessary. Good luck to you, wishing you a peaceful, easy pregnancy!

You have a good memory! Thanks for your input. I'm completely freaked out about this birth right now, as in near panic mode, and DH is too. He is definitely dreading the birth right now. I'm hoping that during the next 9 months I can ease my anxiety and help DH with his too. I think building up to that 'can do' confident attitude is going to take some doing, but I'd really like for this birth to go better than the last two.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

I also had a very slow, "stalled" labor with DD1 and I just yesterday sent DH the instructions for a pelvic floor release from Spinning Babies so we'd have it on hand to try in case that happens again. It sounds like a really good easy tool for the toolkit, at least, and makes me feel better to know about. The page is loooooong so I just cut out the part from "When to do a side-lying release in labor?" on down, but take a look and see if it sounds useful to you. Pelvic Floor Release

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3013

good luck. I hope everything goes smoothly for you this time.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

"AnnaRO" wrote:

I'm completely freaked out about this birth right now, as in near panic mode, and DH is too. He is definitely dreading the birth right now. I'm hoping that during the next 9 months I can ease my anxiety and help DH with his too. I think building up to that 'can do' confident attitude is going to take some doing, but I'd really like for this birth to go better than the last two.

I can totally relate to this. Despite 2.5 YEARS of TTC I was walking around thinking, "WTF have I done," for a few weeks. I think having midwifery care in a birth center will make a world of difference for you. If for some reason you risk out, then absolutely get a doula so you have support at the hospital. And remember, sometimes the difference between a not-so-great birth and an I'm-OK-with-it birth is more in our heads than in what happens to our bodies. Make sure your head is in the right place. It's not this baby's job to do your emotional healing for you, that's your job. I highly recommend Hypnobabies and the Fear Release script. I worked through that many times. I finally had to admit that it was bigger than I could deal with myself, and I saw a hypnotherapist who in just three sessions worked wonders for me and I was emotionally ready when labor hit.

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2439

Congrats Anna! I know you from the TTC boards awhile back. Hope you enjoy this pregnancy and get the birth you want this time. I don't know your past stories, but I understand your anxieties. My birth did not go as planned, even though it was vaginal, I am constantly thinking about where it wrong. I go back and forth on whether my body/mind failed me, my birth team failed me or if I was just on the hospital's schedule. I think now, its really a combo and they all sort of affected each other. I think its great that you are going the birth center route this time. Best of luck to you!

Great link Leigh! I wonder if my 17 years of ballet dancing stalled my labor. Haha. I will have to try this next time.

raingirl28's picture
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347

Congrats! I hope it works out this time! I hope the birth centre makes all the difference!

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3013

If you can't do the birth center for some reason, instead of a doula you could consider a MW practice that delivers at a hospital. I have that for this time and have been told if my previa doesn't clear and I need a c/s the MW will be with me for the whole procedure as support, even though she obviously won't be doing the surgery. It's wonderful knowing that if things can't go as I'd like I'll at least still have an experienced medical provider in favor of natural birth on my side.

I hope everything goes wonderfully for you, though. Smile