Hi all, I was wondering if anyone can give me some tips/experiences with hiring a doula. Specifically, what kinds of questions do you ask when interviewing one? And I'd also be interested in hearing your experiences in working with one, if you have before or are currently!
I am not sure yet whether I'm going to go that route or not, but its something I've been seriously considering. The biggest factor is, of course, cost- we're in a bit of a tough spot financially right now so I don't know if we'll have the money for one. But, DH did recently start a new job after being laid off for a month+, so hopefully that will help us out.
With DS, I didn't really consider it because I'm kind of an isolative person and kind of awkward with new people lol, and didn't want to deal with that on top of being in labor. But looking back, I really think I could have benefited from having someone there who was more involved, and trained in providing comfort measures. I am absolutely looking forward to going to the birth center this time vs the hospital- but I am also really nervous about the labor because I remember how much pain I was in with DS (even though it was only at the end!) and that I couldn't handle it and got an epi. DH was there of course, but he kind of just didn't really know what to do and was more on the sidelines so to speak.
And that makes it more tricky this time around, because I'm just not feeling a lot of support coming from him through this pregnancy. He's way more detached than he was last time around. Maybe distracted is a better word- I know he has been stressed about losing his job and having to find another one. But it just feels like he isn't as involved... it was only recently that he gave me any feedback about name ideas, he doesn't care at all when I ask him opinions about baby's furniture or bedding, he hasn't helped me one bit with getting the room ready (I've been scraping wallpaper glue off and scrubbing the walls, and will paint the room all by myself and its taking forever). He's going along with hypnobabies because I want to, but I don't think he really wants to lol. When I try to talk to him about anything related to the baby or birth he just kind of shrugs; its like pulling teeth to get him to talk to me about anything! So, I think that might be another thing that's leading me to want to hire a doula. I know I am going to need all the support I can get, but I'm just not feeling a lot of that coming from him and it makes me nervous about the birth. But at the same time, I don't want to isolate him further or "replace" him- I just want some extra support. Maybe she could even help get him more involved?
Ok wow- sorry that went off onto a big DH rant, didn't mean for it to go there. But, if anyone has any tips or advice I'd love to hear it!