If I have to hear one more time...

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momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634
If I have to hear one more time...

...someone tell me how crazy I am for actually wanting a vaginal delivery, I swear I'm going to go :violent2: on them!!!!

People have gone from telling me I'm crazy for wanting a VBAC because it's too dangerous to telling me I'm crazy for wanting a vaginal birth when a c/s is so much better. I swear, people are coming out of the woodwork to tell me how wonderful their c/s's were and how because I've never had a vaginal birth that I just wouldn't understand. And these are women that have NEVER had vaginal deliveries!!!!!! ahhhh!!!!!

Over the weekend, we were at a wedding and a lady asked me if this was baby #1, I said, no it's #3. Then she got curious and was asking a whole bunch of other stuff, didn't bother me, but got to the part about me having both my kids via c/s and assumed I knew when this one was going to be born via c/s. I said I don't know when this one's coming cause we're not scheduling a c/s. Well, then she went on to tell me how crazy I am because she had both her kids by c/s and it was just wonderful. They give you pain meds and you don't have to deal with labor and blah, blah blah the joys of a c/s. I said I wasn't a fan of c/s's and she said, yeah, but you've never had a vaginal birth before. Of course, when I pointed out to her that she's never had a vaginal birth before, she just said, yeah, but my friends have and I got the better deal. Well, I'm not good at backing down, so of course I asked her if she knew all the risks of c/s's and she said, oh yeah, but those rarely happen. So, I kindly pointed out the actual statistics of when things happen and sometime around here is when DH overheard the conversation and saw the vein in my forehead popping and came over to remind me to go to the car and check my blood sugars cause it had been 1 hour since supper. He's so sneaky, I didn't even catch on that he was trying to keep me from going to jail for attempted murder, what a sweetheart Smile

This isn't the 1st or even the 2nd person to tell me this! I'm going to have a vaginal delivery this time if for no other reason than so I can tell people to shove it up their a$$es the next time I'm pregnant and tell them I'm having a VBAC and they tell me how wonderful their c/s was. I get that some people really do have hard labors and really do have good c/s's and some people have bad vaginal deliveries, I truly do understand that. But don't try to explain to me that there aren't any risks with multiple c/s's unless you want an earful. I have the research and the statistics on MY side and I really don't mind filling you in on it (and of course there will be a bi@#$y undertone)!!!!

Did I mention that I'm getting a little hormonal as this pregnancy goes on? Biggrin

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

Sorry, but your post got me laughing. I can see how incredibly frustrating that would be, I'd have a hard time backing down too. I'm so excited that as a second timer no one can tell me anymore that the only reason I want an unmedicated birth is because I have no idea what I'm in for.
You probably have a better idea of what goes on for a vaginal birth than many mommies who've already HAD a vaginal birth.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

I'm sorry people are saying things like that to you! Ridiculous. My doula gave me a pamphlet from ICAN that compares the risks of repeat c/s to the risks of VBAC. My plan was to show that to anyone that tried to question me about my (very well researched) decision. Smile Thankfully no one has so far.

Melissa1223's picture
Joined: 01/10/07
Posts: 149

Dude, vaginas are made to birth babies. If you were supposed to yoink them straight from the belly we would have zippers. And the whole rest of the system is equally beautifully designed to deliver babies in the safest, easiest way possible. Sometimes things go wrong and complication come up that must be addressed but it is SO backward to me to assume we HAVE to intervene in a natural process because it's "better." I know I am preaching to the choir, but gahhhh.

I'm glad your DH is perceptive. IF (and it's a big if) my DH noticed me about to beat someone about the head and shoulders with an Ina May Gaskin book he would sooner get some popcorn and sell tickets than distract me!

LMCH's picture
Joined: 02/05/07
Posts: 2031

sorry people are volunteering all this "advice"...if someone dares to tell you your uterus will explode, I think we might see you on the national news, beating someone, haha!

"Melissa1223" wrote:

IF (and it's a big if) my DH noticed me about to beat someone about the head and shoulders with an Ina May Gaskin book he would sooner get some popcorn and sell tickets than distract me!

ROFL almost spit my drink all over the computer! haha!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

The nerve of some people! I'm really lucky to have avoided people like that. Or rather, people like that are really lucky to have avoided me!

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"Melissa1223" wrote:

I'm glad your DH is perceptive. IF (and it's a big if) my DH noticed me about to beat someone about the head and shoulders with an Ina May Gaskin book he would sooner get some popcorn and sell tickets than distract me!

OMG!!! I am laughing so freakin hard right now!! Thank you, I really needed that. And you gave me a great idea to keep my copy of that book with me at all times Smile

My DH is very non confrontational and I think I scare the heck out of him because I'm actually very combative. Sometimes I wish he'd just chill and enjoy the show Smile but he's saved my butt a time or two when I know darn well I would've drop kicked someone (yes, I know I have violent tendencies, so please don't push me, my daddy taught me how to fight.....and win Smile )

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

Bubble of Peace, my dear, just don't talk to anyone anymore. Bubble of Peace! Blum 3

Mom2ThreeKiddos's picture
Joined: 09/15/09
Posts: 1380

I totally feel your pain. I am going for a vba3c this time. I am very lucky to have understanding friends. I can't wait until someone decides to comment. LOL. Seriously just ignore them!!!

Allie01979's picture
Joined: 10/10/07
Posts: 4706

I've had a vaginal birth, my only experience and People still tell me I should have a C-sect. :rolleyes: people are insane

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

maybe you should carry a copy of the new ACOG VBAC guidelines around with you? Most people outside of the birth-world probably have no idea that such a prestigeous group supports VBA2C

And Melissa, the "beat someone about the head and shoulders with an Ina May Gaskin book" comment was awesome. ROFL

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I never get why people feel the need to shove their down your throat when its not what you want to hear. Sorry you are dealing with that. My lips are sealed all around over here. When I get questions about our birth from anyone I usually reply "XY is our local hosptial" and "we don't have a set date for him to arrive". I'm not giving out any other info to people about what is actually going to happen. I can't stand hearing it either.

mandora's picture
Joined: 07/16/07
Posts: 262

Just wanted to chime in (haven't posted here in AGES, but could definitely use some good ol' common sense leading up to birthing this next babe)... I once had someone interrupt one of my classes (I'm a CBE) on natural birth, and try to tell all the mommas-to-be why they should have an epi, or better yet! a cesarean. I think I turned 50 shades of purple before my blood pressure returned to normal and I calmly escorted her out (she was waiting for another class to start and heard us talking...just decided to jump in). I have no idea what would possess someone?!?

Sorry you're dealing with this... it's one of the reasons I LOVE that I've got a successful homebirth behind me. It shuts people up when I talk about this babe being a homebirth... I obviously know what I'm 'in for' and am still going forward with it.

Joined: 01/22/07
Posts: 170

I feel ya.

One of Tyler's teachers asked me why I would want to do something so "barbaric" as have a natural birth in a birth center when I could just schedule a repeat c-section.

Ya, having a baby the way I was designed is much more barbaric than being SLICED OPEN!!!!!!!!

MommyJannah's picture
Joined: 08/25/08
Posts: 109

I had a HORRID vaginal delivery with my first, and I'd still prefer it over a c-section. (I've never had a section, but I'm assuming it hurts. Badly.) I had a lap procedure done with my gall bladder and even that like ... 1 1/2" scar hurt like a mother. Thanksbutnothanks.

I'm at the point now that I just tell people to go suck an egg. It's none of your business whether I shoot the baby out my vagina, out my stomach, or out my mouth. (Boy, that'd be a feat)

Amber_daisy's picture
Joined: 10/17/06
Posts: 567

I love this board, and this thread. Lol No one here would ever tell you you're crazy for wanting such a thing!!!

I wonder how long it's going to take people to start getting on me about having a home birth?

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"Amber_daisy" wrote:

I wonder how long it's going to take people to start getting on me about having a home birth?

Shouldn't take too long at all!

You would've enjoyed the looks I got when I was trying to find a mw for a HBA2C (in a state that is not hb friendly anyway). I knew it wasn't going to be welcomed with open arms, but I didn't expect the kind of backlash I got. I'm too sassy though, cause I almost would've went ahead with the hb just because it got people riled up. Not that that would be my only reason to hb obviously, but I truly do enjoy riling people up Smile Some of my favorite professors were ones that I not only fundamentally disagreed with, but that stirred me up and made me think so I guess it's just in my blood Biggrin