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Thread: Lack of support/help - How to prepare to do it alone?

  1. #11
    Posting Addict jolly11sd's Avatar
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    I'd be on a plane in a second too if I wasn't having a LO at the same time as you!

    Amanda as well as others have given you some good suggestions. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that DH will end up being able to be there. I was wondering about some people from church or other mothers you know from the area that might be able to help you out with DD. Even if there is another mom friend that you know that may have had a postive birth experience as well that might come help support you during birth in the event that DH can't be there. You could always offer to trade babysitting (now) for her support with birth or DD in April. Even just putting the word out there to some local friends that you would love to find someone to help support you (with natural birth or DD) even though you can't pay for it might bring someone you never thought of out of the woodwork. You figure if some of us would totally come help you out of the friendship and kindness then maybe there is a person near you that would do the same. Just drop some hints like that to other moms you know or some of the older ladies at church. I'm thinking the older ladies at church because they may know someone that the younger moms may not consider
    ~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)


  2. #12
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CamelNoodle View Post
    If you can't find anyone to watch DD while you are in labor, I would recommend talking to the social worker at the hospital. They may have resources to share with you. Another option is to start now to find someone, perhaps through a babysitting service, or local college (community college). That way you could get to know them and trust them to keep DD while you are busy.
    Ditto this. A friend of mine teaches nursing courses at a local college & she always has a bunch of young women (and a few men) who are willing to do things like this, especially if they can get community service credit in a class. Many hospitals also have volunteer doulas who will come & help women in your situation.

    If your DH is unable to be there in person, maybe put him on speakerphone so he can at least hear what's going on. And tell him to let his new employer know what's up, because they might just spring him loose at your first phone call with a promise to come back ASAP to finish his training. You never know.
    David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!

  3. #13
    Posting Addict boilermaker's Avatar
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    Good advice about speakerphone-- my dh missed our last birth (crazy story!) But he did listen in on speakerphone. So not the same....but at least he didn't miss dd's first cries of the sounds of labor--kwim?

  4. #14
    Posting Addict Marite13's Avatar
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    I don't really have any more or better suggestions, but, I just wanted to add that if anyone ever asked me to do either of the things you're looking for, I would absolutely say yes, and be super honored on top of that. Even if it was someone I didn't know that well. Who knows, maybe there are more people out there who feel like me (sounds like there are a few more on this board!). It's worth trying to find out! Good luck to you, Anna. I hope you can work it all out!
    Mara & Joel, 2009




  5. #15
    Posting Addict cactuswren's Avatar
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    Ugh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I think you've already gotten some great suggestions, but one completely crazy thing just occurred to me...if you have no real support where you are, and don't like the hospital where you'll be birthing anyway...what are the services like where your DH will be? If there's a great hospital or birth center there...would it be possible to go with him? Wouldn't be the first baby born away from home...I know, it's a long shot, but I thought it was worth mentioning just in case!

    Good luck, whatever you decide! It CAN be done.

    -Leigh-
    DD Adair Lucille 7/6/10
    DD Faye Louise 10/19/13

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  6. #16
    Posting Addict TiggersMommy's Avatar
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    I was thinking the same as Leigh, is there a good hospital near where your DH might be? When do you find out if he gets the job? Will he be living somewhere that could accommodate the entire family? Is this somewhere closer to any of your family members? If he gets the dream job, will you then be able to afford a doula? If a doula helps you to have the natural birth you want you might actually wind up saving money because your DH will be able to go back to work sooner. A little bit of debt now goes a long way if it means a healthier happier mama and baby.
    Erin
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