May Just Get My Waterbirth... Feeling Guilty (XP)
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Thread: May Just Get My Waterbirth... Feeling Guilty (XP)

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    Super Poster TLotus's Avatar
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    Default May Just Get My Waterbirth... Feeling Guilty (XP)

    Hi Ladies! I'm new to this board. My Nov 11 boardmate, Jasmine suggested I stop by! I should have been here a while ago! I'm expecting my fifth boy 11/18! Below is something I posted on my birth board:

    DH and I explored the idea of having a waterbirth at a birth center way back in May (second trimester). After touring a couple birth centers, I totally fell in love with this idea. It almost became an obsession until DH brought up the cost and what that would do to our finances in the long run. We decided to drop the dream and focus on an unmedicated birth at a hospital. Found a hospital that is totally supportive of natural birth (to the extent that a hospital can..) and started focusing on that plan.


    Fast forward to last week. My doula calls and leaves me a message on my voicemail. Something like, "I have some exciting news to share with you! Give me a call as soon as you can." What could this news be? Hmmm...

    Needless to say, I called her right away. She was so excited, she kept saying, "I don't know where to start!" I told her to take a breath and start from the beginning..LOL! She basically tells me that she works with a midwife who recently had a client that is a television producer. (stay with me, now....lol!) This producer was so impressed with the MW, she wants to do a documentary on her work. This producer works with the OWN network (Oprah's Network) and she wants to film a home birth in Nov. So, my doula immediately thought of me and told this midwife about my true desire for a waterbirth but couldn't afford it.

    Now get this: The midwife has a significant other who is Deaf and she wants to learn/become fluent in sign langugae! So, my doula brought up the idea of bartering her MW services for my ASL services and the MW is all for it!

    So my doula put me in touch with the MW and she is coming over to my home to meet DH and the boys on Friday! She woud provide the birth pool and I need to get the birth kit and a few other things. Basically, I will be switching to MW care and preparing for a birth at home! What an opportunity! And it will be filmed too? Wow...I'm blown away at how the Universe works!

    So why do I feel guilty? Well, my OB doesn't have a clue yet. I saw him yesterday (baby is healthy...everything is on track) and didn't say a word. DH wants me to wait until we meet with the MW and have a definate agreement before I tell OB. But, after telling him back in second trimester that I was considering a water birth...then telling him we changed our minds, I'm afraid of pissing off my OB for changing my mind again! DH thinks it would be a good idea to just not say anything until after the birth, then "confess". I don't know if I want to do that...but I will wait untill our meeting with the MW.

    Either way, I am thrilled to have this opportunity! This is a huge gift!
    Tamara, 38 and BJ, 45
    DS- 19 DS- 15 DS- 11 DS - 8 DS - Born 11/20/11!
    10/21/10 01/20/11





    Follow My pregnancy, birth and recovry on Youtube! http://www.youtube.com/user/tlotus11?feature=mhum

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    Posting Addict Nell4Him's Avatar
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    That sounds awesome!

    Perhaps you can ask the MW's opinion of how to approach it with the OB? She might have some pointers or ideas on how not to offend him.

    Janelle and Brad 8-25-01
    Jacob 04-14-04
    m/c 04-16-06
    Daniel 01-09-09
    Evelyn 08-29-11


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    What a neat opportunity!

    I agree with your DH about waiting to tell the OB until after you've met with the MW, just in case you really don't click or something.

    But, if you like her, then I would tell the MW your plans as soon as you know for sure.

    How do you feel about being filmed and having the crew around? I'm not sure I would like that...

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    Prolific Poster Winky_the_HouseElf's Avatar
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    Wow, that's amazing! As someone who had a newspaper photographer and reporter at my fourth baby's home birth, I want to warn you to think about what you are comfortable including. There were two instances in that birth that I wished my mw or dh had sent the reporter out of the room. One of the instances was photographed and published in the paper. I was not pleased, especially since she told me she would get my approval on any photos. Lesson learned: don't let them film anything you don't want shown.

    Good luck with the meeting!
    Laura
    Homeschooling mama of five dds and brand new ds!
    Our June baby arrived in May with the help of Hypnobabies.
    No circ for our little man: The Elephant in the Hospital

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    Super Poster TLotus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winky_the_HouseElf View Post
    Wow, that's amazing! As someone who had a newspaper photographer and reporter at my fourth baby's home birth, I want to warn you to think about what you are comfortable including. There were two instances in that birth that I wished my mw or dh had sent the reporter out of the room. One of the instances was photographed and published in the paper. I was not pleased, especially since she told me she would get my approval on any photos. Lesson learned: don't let them film anything you don't want shown.

    Good luck with the meeting!
    Thanks for the advice! I definately have filming limitations that I will share with the MW on Friday. BTW.. I'm using Hypnobabies too!
    Tamara, 38 and BJ, 45
    DS- 19 DS- 15 DS- 11 DS - 8 DS - Born 11/20/11!
    10/21/10 01/20/11





    Follow My pregnancy, birth and recovry on Youtube! http://www.youtube.com/user/tlotus11?feature=mhum

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    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Does your midwife have her own OB backup? If not, or if you don't really "click" with that OB, then it might be worth continuing dual care with your OB on a JIC basis.

    Also, to prevent what happened to WinkyTheHouseElf, make sure your contract with the producer gives you final right of refusal. Just don't sign any agreement that doesn't include that kind of language. That's better than trying to remember when you're in the thick of things to tell someone to leave.
    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

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    Posting Addict jolly11sd's Avatar
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    That is an awesome opportunity!!! Now I need something like that over here so I can homebirth again.

    I totally wouldn't tell your OB until after the meeting with MW. Also maybe just keep it quiet for a while if he is going to be your back up care. I think though that if you are honest with him about the opportunity then there should be no reason for the OB to feel hurt or upset. Ideally that is.
    ~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)


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    Posting Addict TyrantOfTheWeek's Avatar
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    It's your baby and your birth, who cares if you piss off your OB? It's not like you are married or something. I wouldn't even say anything. Just don't go to the hospital when you go into labor.

    Dylan 4/22/04, Devon 6/24/06,Dorothy 9/13/07, Derek 12/19/09, Daniel 12/18/10, Daphne 2/24/12
    Mindie and Mark, 5/16/09

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    Posting Addict Starryblue702's Avatar
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    I know I already posted in November... but congrats on this again... it's so awesome that you get to do this!
    Krystal & Donovan - 12/2/06
    Reagan - 10/2/02
    Maximus - 3/10/05
    Liberty - 12/11/08
    Trystan- 11/22/11
    My angel in Heaven 1/7/13

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