Warning - long, rambling complaint/fear
So I am 13 or so weeks pregnant (funny how this 2nd time isn't as detailed as the first since I have a 2-year old running around! I always have to look at my ticker to know!) and planning a natural birth. We are using the birth center we used before. Considered and possibly still considering a homebirth, but that's another post! Without a doubt, we are planning an out-of-hospital birth!
I'm coming here for help on how to deal with this fear. I learned during my last pregnancy that the mind is a powerful thing and I tried very hard to deal with any fears/hesitations as soon as I could to rid my mind of it and replace it with positive thoughts.
So, my fear - I'm afraid that I won't be able to birth at the birth center...maybe I'll go into labor too early (before 37 weeks, has to be at hospital), maybe I'll have to transfer to the hospital from the birth center, etc. The reason this is my "fear" is because I didn't have much support from friends last time and it was so nice to be able to have such a great experience at the birth center with DS and not have an epidural or be induced.
This time, friends/family automatically know that I am using the birth center again, but of course it's still "weird" I think the reason this has all surfaced recently is I just found out a close friend of mine is *still* upset that we requested no visitors for a couple days after DS's birth (seriously, it wasn't that long...had him on Wednesday a.m. and had visitors on Friday a.m.) For some reason, friends took that personally, especially the one. It's affected me because I have great relationships with my friends and never have any drama at all. So to find out that one is *still* upset over MY choice is hard to deal with.
I just don't want people to say stupid crap if I were to have to transfer or deliver at the hospital for any reason. I don't know if I could handle that. I seriously think I would lose friends over how I would react. I just don't want to hear "well, you can't plan everything" or something along those lines.
And what KILLS me is that of ALL of my friends, I had the shortest birth, the easiest (even with horrid back labor!), went home the same day, super easy recovery, all with pushing out the dreaded "large" baby. NONE of that matters. They see me as being "lucky" I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Oh, it's because you had such a hard pregnancy, that means you deserved an easy birth" Um, what? Says all of my friends who were induced and ended up with C/S's and horrid 4th degree tears....and somehow the inductions played no part.
ok....apparently the hormones are at work and I need to sign off b/c I am truly rambling now.
But any advice on how to ease my mind about things "not going my way" for birth would be appreciated. I don't even do a real birth plan b/c I'm all about seeing how I feel during labor. The things that i would have on a birth plan if I were in the hospital just don't apply at the birth center b/c it's all normal stuff (no iv's, monitors, etc.)