Need help feeling incredibly defeated
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Thread: Need help feeling incredibly defeated

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    Mega Poster Mom2ThreeKiddos's Avatar
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    Default Need help feeling incredibly defeated

    So I didn't share that I had to take the fun 3 GTT. I almost refused, but decided to do it. I was diagnosed with GD with my 2nd child. That is the birth that essentially got me into a vbac unfriendly state. With Lilly was diagnosed GD and I was also on blood pressure medication for elevated blood pressure. Sound at all familiar??? At the time I didn't believe I had any options. The doctor wanted to deliver my baby at 38w. I was neither dialated nor effaced. He felt it best to just do the repeat section because he didn't want to do an induction. At the time I was not as informed as I am now. I really wanted the vbac and felt so defeated. When I got pg with my son, I neither had GD nor had the high blood pressure I had with Lilly (my 2nd). What I did have was preterm contraction (or so they said, I question that now because I never dialated even up until 36w) anyway they gave me absolutely no option. It was repeat c-section, no chance of anything else. It was essentially these experiences that led me to where I am today.

    I started out heavier this pg then I did with any of my other kids. I had a miscarriage in May 2010 and I held on to all the weight I had gained, plus put on a little more. I wasn't huge or anything, but heavier. When I found out I was pg I was so excited. I was determined to find a care provider to deliver me. I had bleeding off and on most of the 1st trimester. Of course coming off a miscarriage it scared the crap out of me. On top of everything else my father had a massive stroke which he nearly died from. He spent a month in a nursing facility and while he is much better, he is still not fully healed. My mother has been in the hospital 2x over the winter. My mother is incredibly ill. She is on a transplant list for a new kidney. She is severe diabetic, has parkinson's disease and early stage dimentia. She has neuropathy and is legally blind due to her diabetes. She had gotten all mixed up with her medication and od'd on purpose on pain killers which landed her in the psychiatric ward. This was right before Christmas. Well she ended up back in there after Christmas. They changed her medication around and seems to be doing much better. But I can tell you the stress of all of this has been incredibly horrible for me. On top of all that I am not on some type of probationary discipline thing at work because I "didn't communicate effectively" during my absences and I missed too much work. I want to quit this job anyway and just focus on childbirth education and doula and well most of all focus on my kids. Anyway stress stress stress. I can't lose my job at this point because we will go bankrupt. (literally)

    So I get this call from the dietican at the hosptial wanting to set up an appt. Of course I had never even talked to my doctor about any of this yet. I seriously can't believe this is happening. He was already talking delivery at 38w due to my chronic hypertension. Now this. I did really well controlling my GD with my daughter and my numbers were fantastic, so I have no issue with that part of it. The idea of sticking myself for blood draws over and over each day is not something I want to do though. Please any advice on what I can do to try to keep my dream alive because I have an ob appt tomorrow and I just know what he is going to say. I really do like my ob a lot and considering the state of vbac's here in my little community I felt blessed to have found him, but he is a maternal fetal specialist and this is what he does. He is very natural birth friendly, but I do think he will even have a threshold. I have been having contractions already (like last time). Very inconsistent, but can be fairly strong. Ideas and advice greatly appreciated.
    Christy birth doula, Hypnobabies instructor, small business owner & most importantly MOMMY.

    http://nurturedbabyboutique.com



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    Mega Poster LMCH's Avatar
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    I don't have any experience with GD or chronic HTN, but I wanted to stop and give some hugs and best wishes for a good appointment with some game plan that will still include a possible VBAC
    ~*~Lauren~*~







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    Posting Addict MrsMangoBabe's Avatar
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    oh, honey, you have been through so much! I can tell you are really stressed, and I can see how having to face the added stress of having to constantly check your blood sugar feels so overwhelming on top of all of that. Honestly, I think it would be next to impossible to find a care provider who wasn't uncomfortable with a VBA3C with hypertension and GD. Your doctor needs to know that you are keeping your sugars under control so he can be sure your baby isn't going to be macrosomic, because that would make VBAC a bad idea. I hope VBAC is still a possibility for you, I really want it for you. You know, though, I read this today, and maybe it will be helpful for you to read it, too...it is written by a who had 2 c/s and will never have a vaginal birth: http://speakhertruth.blogspot.com/20...nthealing.html
    -Brittany
    Doula, Childbirth Educator, and Mom to three adorable troublemakers
    Two time joyful Hypnobabies natural birthing mom
    My blog: Birth Unplugged

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    Mega Poster Mom2ThreeKiddos's Avatar
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    Thank you both! That blog article made me so sad. I feel so bad for her, but I am afraid I am going to be her. I have been really trying to stay positive, but it has been really hard and I have been fighting with dh terribly, which isn't helping.
    Christy birth doula, Hypnobabies instructor, small business owner & most importantly MOMMY.

    http://nurturedbabyboutique.com



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    Prolific Poster Melissa1223's Avatar
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    I wish I had some useful advise, but your situation is complicated and frustrating. I just wanted to offer support and hope that you will be able to get some a few minutes of peace to really think and feel your way through this. I hope your OB is willing to really communicate with you and keep you involved in his care plan.

    Your baby is so lucky to have a mom who cares so much about her. Whatever happens you will make the best decisions you can for her well being. Just keep thinking about the baby as the goal, and I'm sure the rest will make sense soon.

    ///Hugs
    Melissa
    DH, Mark, married January 23, 2005
    DS, Will, born September 26, 2008
    DS, Jack, due February 13, 2011


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    Mega Poster ekcanada's Avatar
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    Christy, i am so sorry I have nothing to add but wanted to give you some hugs and my thoughts will be with you!
    Erin & Tyler - July 19, 2003
    Hayleigh Bryn - June 6, 2009
    Kyla Rae - September 2, 2011




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    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    You took the 3-hour test, meaning you didn't pass the 1-hour test? Did they have you fast beforehand? If so, that could definitely have caused you to fail. The GD test isn't supposed to test your reaction to sugar itself, it's supposed to test your reaction to excess sugar which means not fasting beforehand, and the acceptable levels are different than when diagnosing regular diabetes. Don't let them *give* you a diagnosis of GD if you don't want to accept it. Have you had sugar in your urine at routine appointments? If not, and if your levels are just barely above the GD definition, then personally I would change my diet & say screw them on the GD. Find out what your levels were at each hour, and do your own research about GD diagnosis, and talk with your doctor about how you feel & what your plan looks like.

    The dietician might be calling because of your past issues with chronic hypertension. That's also something you obviously want to avoid in pregnancy, but the good news is that both hypertension & GD can be solved with the same simple diet changes. Also try to find a way to channel your stress out of your body -- yoga, massage, journalling, exercise, screaming into your pillow on a regular basis, whatever feels best to you. Good luck to you!
    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

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    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Oh, and the contractions don't mean anything as long as they're not causing dilation. It's prodromal labor & some women have to deal with it for weeks or months. It sucks, but it's not dangerous. As long as it's not causing dilation. I'm never one to suggest asking for a vaginal exam, but it might give you some peace of mind.

    The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!

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    Mega Poster heatherliz2002's Avatar
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    Just wanted to offer hugs and support. I hope you can find some ways to relieve the stress and work through everything. Thinking of you!
    Heather & Andy 6/8/02
    DD Catie 10/2/08
    DS Ronan 9/6/11


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  10. #10
    Mega Poster Mom2ThreeKiddos's Avatar
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    He said exactly what I thought he was going to. I am strike 3 and no longer a vbac candidate. My numbers were high but not terrible. I will go see the dietican lady just because it will give me a good idea of what to eat every day. I don't know what I am going to do yet. I talked to a hb midwife and she is going to meet with me on Saturday and do a urine stick to see if I have any glucose in my urine. I didn't as my ob and he didn't say anything about that. I have both diabetes and high blood pressure in my family. High blood pressure is what caused my father's stroke (who was otherwise totally healthy). I wasn't eating all that terrible, but I tend to like things like pasta and cereal etc so that probably is my problem. I sent some feelers out to ICAN to see if I can find another doctor. I know that I will have to travel though. My current ob wants to deliver me at 38w. which is what the ob I had with my 2nd wanted and did do as well. My husband is like they can't cut you without your consent and I know he is right, but I really really didn't want to have this fight. I have condidered doing yoga anyway because of all the crazy stress I am under and I think the hypnobabies will help. Of course I am sick right now too which is just lovely. Sigh!
    Christy birth doula, Hypnobabies instructor, small business owner & most importantly MOMMY.

    http://nurturedbabyboutique.com



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