Hi ladies! DH and I are currently TTC our second. I was whole-heartedly on the natural birth train with my first and had trouble dealing with trying not to be judge-y of women who weren't going natural. I think birth is not a medical condition that needs treatment, and that it is best for mom and baby to let it happen naturally with as few interventions as possible. I also think that the "pain" of labor is part of the process, and in my experience, the pain was totally manageable with hypnobabies and just trying to keep busy and distracted in early labor, up until the last 2 hours.
ANYway, now that I am thinking about labor and delivery again, I am scared. My son was born quickly and with no major complications, and it was a very easy labor up until the last 2 hours, like I mentioned. But the last 2 hours were nearly unbearable. I had extremely strong contractions that my son wasn't tolerating well (neither was I!), and had to stop pushing and try to breathe through them to keep his heartrate up. It was agonizing, and being asked to not push was like being asked not to fall down when you already tripped (impossible). We were minutes out from a c-section when his heartrate finally came back up and I could push again. They had to change internal monitors twice during contractions (also unbearable, I think I swore at them the entire time they were doing it). The surgeon they called in for a consult asked how much pitocin I was on because my contractions were so strong he wanted to turn the pit down to reduce their intensity, but couldn't of course, because I hadn't had any! There was no break between contractions for the last 2 hours, they were one on top of the other. I toughed it out, but was totally traumatized afterwards, to the point where I couldn't even feel happy when he came out and was put on my chest. It took me some time to really bond with my newborn because I was so out of it and traumatized. I realize there are far more traumatic birth stories out there, of course, but this is how I felt.
So my philosophy and beliefs about childbirth lead me to want another natural birth, but sometimes I feel so scared I think I might just ask for an epidural the second it starts to hurt. I am terrified to go through labor again, and I want to be able to enjoy it when my baby is born, and not feel traumatized and shocked this time. I know every birth is different, and I'm hoping it will be better the second time around, but I could use some encouragement from you natural birth mamas.