So the training was awesome, but I came home feeling TERRIBLE. I was swollen up like a balloon my bp was creeping up and yes I started freaking out. I got incredibly scared that all my best laid plans were now over and I would end up with pre-e and a c-section. I even had a dream that my uterus ruptured. I mean how crazy is that. Ahhh! Anyway I did go to the doctor and somehow he heard from an L&D nurse of my plan to refuse the c-section. He lectured me. Pulled out the dead baby card. Seriously I left the appt even MORE freaked out. And really upset as I felt like confidence had been violated. He had me do blood work, which was all normal I can assume since no one called me. Well I was all ready to just give up and call the midwife in Indiana and tell them I wasn't coming. I did actually call her, but I just asked her about my bp and she said "we take hypertensive patients. We will just watch your medication". I was floored. They are CNM's and I am now sooo freaking happy I chose that over a CPM actually.
Sooo I met with them yesterday face to face and WOW what a difference. I guess it is true that it all works out how it is supposed to. The mw was amazing! The logistics are still up in the air of actually how to make it all work, but I have faith that it will. I am focusing even more on listening to my Hypnobabies cd's. Especially the pregnancy affirmations. My bp is back down to normal. I have no idea what happened, but I really need to take all the negativity and eliminate it from my life. So I signed the consent for service and they are now my care provider. The ob is being fired!