Opinions needed, OB vs Midwife
I'm hitting a wall here and am so frustrated. Just need to hear some opinions from others.
When it comes to NCB, and options/pressure/support during prenatal care and delivery, how did you feel about your OB or MW? If you've used one of each feel free to compare.
Background (long, read if interested):
DS1 was born via c/s due to prolonged labor/failure to progress (if I had just known more then, anyway). Had a hospital MW but OB was my assigned person once I hit the hospital. DS2 was a planned home birth, with non-emergency hospital transfer at the end of labor, and a sucessful VBAC. Obviously I was with a HBMW all of pregnancy and then had a random OB at the hospital went to. So this pregancy we are planning on a hospital birth since the out of pocket expense on another home birth so close to the last just isn't possible. I've been seeing an OB (jerk) in my small town that won't deliver me unless I agree to a c/s because that is our small town hospital policy even after having a prior VBAC (lame). The hospital we had DS2 in was horrible and the doctor there screwed up big time as DS2 came out so we won't be going back there even though they are VBAC friendly. So DH and I have been searching high and low for a hosptial that will let me have (another) VBAC and finally came up with an awesome in hospital birth center an hour away. They promised the moon at this place and gave me the list of MW's I could contact. I arrived for my first MW appointment (with a MW group connected to the hospital) today and the MW was not there because she was was in a c/s with a client (?). Ok, book another appointment for next week and get all the paperwork and junk done with the nurses. Then on my drive home I get a call from the MW saying that I'm not actually going to be able to be seen any MW's because they don't see VBAC ladies (even after having one already) and refers me to an OB in her practice. I called another group that delivers at that hospital as well and the same thing. Ugh. I pretty much cried the rest of the way home. I'm so frustrated. I don't dislike OB's but I've never had any good experiences with them and I really worried about them not being NCB friendly, totally non-supportive of VBAC's, and pushy with interventions. I probably should just go and meet one or find another hospital with MW's but I'm still just so upset.
My dad went on and on this weekend about how I should just have another c/s so I don't kill myself :violent2: , which totally lead to an argument. He is uneducated about the whole 'birth thing' as he calls it. And the OB I've been seeing is so horrible and never tells me anything about during appointments. My last appointment he told me that he was glad I stopped BFing my 14 month old (I didn't really, just lied to him) because it was hurting both me and my unborn baby. Then he went on and on about the fact that I'd have GD because of how large I was now (up 15lbs from pp) and before I got preg. (only 10lbs above the 'ideal' weight on the charts). He is also totally annoyed that I refused any testing beyond a standard blood test up till now. The stress from those 2 people added on to the whole MW refusal finding today have totally pushed me to the edge. I loved my HBMW so much last time, she was so supportive and encouraging, and now I'm dealing with this.
So someone tell me that they had some great OB's that they've used in the past, or currently, so that I can stop feeling so bad about the whole thing. Or the opposite so that I can go max out my discover card to pay for the HBMW last minute and likely upset my DH because we can't afford it and insurance doesn't cover enough of it.