So, all of my pregnancy books, and now my birth class teacher are recommending perineal massage. I'm hesitant, however. First of all, I can't actually reach to do it myself properly. My partner is more than willing to assist me (eager, actually), but he's a working man and his fingers are always rough. And, he'd be getting turned on, but I'd probably be all hung up on the discomfort factor - you're supposed to do it until it kind of hurts. It seems like it would be more of a chore than a turn-on. Has anyone done it? Do you feel like it helped? Was it more like foreplay than a chore? Any input is appreciated.
You're right, it did often turn into foreplay for DH, but I made it clear to him that it wasn't foreplay for me. Sometimes he was able to get me into a foreplay mood with other, nicer touches when we were done with the perineal massage, and sometimes I just said, thank you, and let him finish on his own. Don't worry about your DH's fingers being rough, you're going to use plenty of lube, my midwife recommended using castor oil because of the prostaglandins in it, can't enough of those! I can't tell you if it worked for me because I was unable to birth vaginally both times, but I have a friend IRL who birthed a 10lb 2oz baby with no tears, not even a skidmark, and she credits perineal massage along with instructions from her CNM to push between contractions instead of with them.
David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!
I didn't really do it the "recommended" way--I did it myself and just stretched the skin a little until it sort of started to sting a little, not really hurt. I never tried it with DH--I prefered to do it myself because I could stop before I it hurt me. It was helpful for me to get used to the feeling of that area stretching so that I wasn't surprised when I experienced it during crowning (and it felt exactly the same as the stinging, only on a much bigger scale) and didn't tense up in response. I do think it helped for that and I did not tear, but after my first birth I didn't with only 1st degree tearing, my CNM told me I probably would not tear next time. I did not do it frequently enough or stretch it enough to actually pre-stretch the skin like a lot of people say to do.
We tried it during my first pg and it was terribly awkward. It was uncomfortable for me, which made it a turn off for DH. He felt really uncomfortable with causing discomfort in that area. I asked him about it this time, but I was already so uncomfortable with the reflux and back pain during my last trimester that I coudln't stand the thought of it.
I tore both times---2nd degree, so pretty badly. Part of that was my fault though b/c I pushed his head out in one long push (despite being told to slow down) just to get it over with faster. He was a big guy and his head didn't even cone....OUCH!
I LOVED it!! lol. I think i'm the odd one out of the bunch. DH would use it as forplay unless he could tell I wasn't in the mood. It hurt a little at first and then felt so good afterwords. It was so relaxing for me though. We used Primrose oil but we didn't start doing them until I was nearly 36 weeks. I honestly think it helped a ton with the birth. I ended up with an episiotomy though but no tearing. With DS1 We didn't do the perineum message and I had a 3rd degree tear.