Pregnant with #3 and Birth Fear
I found out about a week and a half ago that I'm pregnant with my 3rd baby. My first two were both natural deliveries at birth centers with midwives. My first delivery was wonderful. The second was hell! Seriously, she was the same size as her brother almost but I was in transition for almost 2 hours and then ended up with absolutely heinous hemorrhoids so even after she was born, I STILL hurt down there. I had awful PPD despite encapsulating my placenta (it happened after my pills ran out) and I couldn't bond with my daughter for over a month because of how bad her delivery was.
I do not want to go through this again. I've even gone as far as contemplating a hospital delivery with an epidural, that's how awful her birth experience was. In my heart I *know* I don't want that kind of delivery, but my head tells me that I do because of my last birth.
Has anyone gone through this? Have any tips on overcoming it?