Thread: Sad little vent...

Ok I don't know if this has happened to any of you fine ladies before, but I happened to get into a discussion about children and more specifically childbirth with a group of women the other day... and I was ATTACKED!

Seriously, I was told : "You should die in childbirth, people like you are stuck in the dark ages!" I have never been so shocked in my life! Seriously! How do other women get to that point where they can say such horrible hateful things (I mean that is pretty freaking bad in my books) to each other because they disagree with something as silly as if we choose to use pain medication or not.

I honestly had no idea how to handle the situation, so resorted to ... uh... pregnant tirade? LOL Probably didn't help my case any but I was just so shocked my brain sort of went into hormonal rage mode.

Have any of you been cornered/attacked/reprimanded for your theories on natural childbirth? I mean... I wasn't even touching anything remotely controversial... I just said I wanted no drugs and as limited in interventions as possible... you'd think I had claimed I was going to chew off the cord instead of cutting it and eat the placenta raw right there... geesh!

you're not alone. My mother thinks I'm unrealistic in my birth plans. She's of the mind set that if you need a section the first time you'll always need it. Without using these exact words she told me I was being unreasonable for wanting a VBAC. However I've never had an attack like yours sounded. I don't know what I would have done. By nature I'm a person who avoids confrontation if I can. I mean I don't even talk to my mom about birth plans. I don't want to hear about how stupid I'm being.

Wow! That's a really intense reaction! Why in the world would those women care? My family think I'm crazy in my parenting choices in general but they don't say anything mean, well at least that mean. It makes me sad for the ladies who don't have a board like this to see that it is normal too.

That has never happened to me, thank goodness. But wow. I have no idea what I would have done. I am sorry that happened to you.

Oh no, what a horrible reaction they had. That is so hurtful for someone to say that too you even if they didn't agree with your choices. I've run into people that told me I was selfish or irresponsible (based on a VBAC and homebirth) but never been attacked like that. I don't even know how I would have responed other than with total rage or sorrow. Its too bad for those ladies to be so closed minded and hurtful to others.

I was kind of told the same thing by someone we considered a really good friend, basically family. It hurt. I don't understand how people can be so mean. I do understand that a lot of women that use medication are use to being attacked for putting their child through those sorts of unnecessary drugs and interventions so I think thats what they are use to and so they attack first. But it's still mean. I wish both sides would just understand that everyone has their own opinion and just be nice.

After talking about it with my husband (who basically told me I'm not to talk to those women again) and he thinks I took it far more personally because I almost DID die in childbirth with my second (thanks to all those awesome interventions)

I guess I'm just in shock that women could be so cruel simply because there's a different opinion. I mean... I try my best not to shove "NATURAL" down peoples throats (and trust me there are moments where I want to!) Now I'm more sad hearing all your encounters... I had secretly hoped you'd all think it was crazy and unheard of! Apparently there are a lot of crazy opinionated people out there...

My GP had a similar view. He told me our hospital does not do epidurals and I stated that was fine I planned to have a natural birth anyway and he looked at me like I was a freak. It was after I mentioned at some point why not women have had babies without pain relief and unrequired interventions for thousands of years he pulled the "but women have died in child birth for thousands of years as well". Yeah you know what no pain relief didn't do that and yes for some if they had some of the medical advances we had wouldn't have died, but there were so many other factors to consider. I really should find a new GP before my next pregnancy.

Oh my goodness! to each of you that have encountered such rude and horrible people.

I personally start to wonder what has caused such hurt in the other people's lives that they would even be able to say something so ugly. No matter what the topic... to say someone should die??? So uncalled for! Ugh!

Thankfully all my friends think I am crazy but 'strong' or 'brave' or some other word like that. They just chock it up to me being a 'rare bread.' These days, it's true. Just makes it hard to express my EXCITEMENT and ANTICIPATION for L&D. I'm not afraid of it this time and I am not wanting it to just be over. That, to most of my friends, is strange too.

ANYWAY! I am so so sorry for your own experience in your second labor and the hurtful words of that woman.

I may be misunderstood but were these people suggesting that if you didn't take pain meds you might die?

How do pain meds prevent you from dieing?