i'm in a bit of a dilema. With DD i wanted to go with a MW, and i saw one until i hit 20 weeks. Then the hospital and Dr's supporting them "canceled the MW program" ...... and i got shifted to the OB's since the one MW who stayed to finish out her patients was overloaded and i couldnt get in with her. I regretted that every moment, especially during labor and birth- and notabley when the operator at the hospital asked if i need the OB or the MW. i should have freaked and begged for the MW.... like she'd have said no... i had seen her a few times.
anyway, so i'm 23 weeks pregnant now, and despite my resignation and decision to go with just the OB's and only control my attitude and buck hospital policy, i've been having second thoughts. the nerest MW's are 2 hrs away, the hospital and OB's office here is litterally 5 minutes in bad weather or bad traffic. usually its less. Also, i have medicaid, and EVERYTHING is paid for at the hospital. with the MW.... i dont think a home birth would be covered. i think the prenatal appts would be, but not the birth. and there is NO way i'll be able to handle a 2 hr drive to their birth center in a car once i'm sure i'm in labor.
Everyone i've talked to who used these MW's loves them, so i'm actually pretty sure that wouldnt be an issue.
the crux here is that i WANT a natural, non-intervention birth, i could care less where it is, hospital, home, center, whatever. i want care providers who will help me find the best positions for ME to push or labor, not where they can catch easily and strap me to monitors.
I've spent this entire pregnancy up until now making personal plans to buck hospital policy and refuse interventions at all cost. i plan to take my own food and throw it at the nurses if they insist i cannot eat while in labor (if i'm hungry that is, if not, consider the problem avoided) refuse to stay on the monitors continuously, take them off if i feel like it, and be the biggest PITA that hospital has ever seen if i need to to get my birth my way. i really do enjoy *****ing, so i hope while in labor i'll be in that mood. i sure was with DD, i just didn't know what i wanted to do, and this time i do.
but the thought of not having to do that to get a fabulous birth is also really, really, nice.
DH however, does not like the idea of having the MW's so far away. he'd rather just fight with the hospital here. DD's labor was only about 5 hrs, and while i know that every labor is different, i've been told that i can assume half that time for #2.... so by the time i realize i'm in labor somebody would have to be driving VERY fast. i would hate to have to pay out of pocket for the MW when in all honesty they could completely miss the birth.
IF it weren't for the drive and the finances, I'd obviously be rooting for the midwives, but... all things considered, that's a tough choice. For me, it would depend a lot on the OBs and on the hospital.
The hospital where I had my son was really quite friendly to natural birth. I was able to get up and move around, not a single person asked if I wanted an epidural (that I remember, at least) and generally I got what I wanted... other than my OB was completely clueless about natural childbirth and didn't know how to do anything but numb and cut. Even then I did get the natural birth I wanted, I just ignored my OB.
Is this the same hospital you delivered your daughter at? Do you know how supportive they may or may not be?
If I were you, I'd probably go the OB/hospital route but consider getting a doula to help with the natural side of things.
That is tough. I hate it comes to this for so many. Honestly, though, after DS's birth with a midwife at a birth center that was 45 minutes away (some thought we were nuts since the hospital is literally 2 minutes down from our house), I would definitely travel to use them again. I would just leave as soon as you were in labor and get there and get comfy....walk around a mall or a store. DH and I even talked that we would get a hotel room if we had to go further this time!!!
I know sometimes we don't have options and in this case it makes it more difficult, but honestly, thinking about fighting hospital policy puts more stress on me than I'd want to have during labor/delivery. BUT if the money and drive would stress you out equally, then you'd have to really sit down and think about the lesser of two evils, you know?
If you stick with the hospital, then look into hiring a doula. And go interview different OB's in the area. Perhaps there are some that are more natural friendly?
If it were me, my gut would tell me to stick with the OB nearby, 2 hours is just too far for my comfort.
But I did want to mention that Medicaid in FL covers all the cost of my midwife home birth. Just as an FYI.
Are there any OB options in your area? Is it worth research to see if any of your local OBs are pro-natural childbirth? With the right OB you might still have a good chance at a nice normal birth in a hospital.
I also meant to mention in your last post, (but distracted myself) when I got to L&D with DS I hadn't eaten dinner and was hungry so I asked for food and the nurses brought me juice and crackers. I could have eaten a steak right then, but the juice and crackers helped a lot and got me through till breakfast. I don't know if my experience is becoming the norm now as hospitals seem to be catering more to women who want natural births.
there are no other OB's between here and the MW.... well, i guess there are, but what i've heard is actually worse than these ones.
between the money and the distance, i really think MW care might be ruled out. money i can live with, distance we can't.
all of my LLL friends who either had their home birth or ended up with c-section in this hospital are pushing me to NOT go with these OB's.
i feel that this time around i'm prepared to labor at home as much as i can and buck the system for what i need to.
as to finding a doula..... i don't find any listed online when i use websites to look them up and i don't know anyone who has used one locally either. there are none in the phone book. HOW DO I FIND ONE???? i had thought to use my mom to support my birth plan, but i didnt want her there for DD's birth (kicked her out) and i want her to watch DD while i'm in labor..... AND she's annoying the crap out of me lately!!! i guess i could ask if anyone knows someone at my next LLL meeting.... but we have a pretty small group.
Personally, two hours away is too far for me to be comfortable with that option. You had a pretty quick labor the first time, so it is realistic to assume it would be equal or less this time around. Setting out on a two hour drive IN LABOR would be brutal. And the odds of you delivering in the car would be too high for me to be comfortable with. It would make a crazy story, but not a peaceful, safe birth, IMO.
Are there MW who would do a home birth in your area? Many of them aren't willing to travel that far.
I think I would stick with a hospital birth. I would definitely check out some other OBs (or GP's that deliver). An then, bring up your wishes for an intervention free birth. A doula (or any natural birth support) would be a great help.
Good luck in your decision!
Which websites are you using to look for a doula?
Christy birth doula, Hypnobabies instructor, small business owner & most importantly MOMMY.
At 23 weeks you may be too late to get on a list with the Midwives.
Ivy, Leo and Forrest - May 2013
Yes, you should switch. I asked the same question you are asking right now and I am so glad I switched. I really like my OB too. She is a nice woman and I've seen her several times since leaving her care (like at restaurants and stuff) and she even came to see me in the hospital and meet the baby and ask if everything went as I had hoped. It was just a matter of wanting a different kind of experience.
BTW, I was 31 weeks when I switched from my OB to the CNMs.
have you tried www.doulamatch.net? I'm listed there--it's free for doulas to list, so a lot list there, and I like the way they have it set up. I'm also listed at www.findadoula.com which is run by CBI. Did you look at the DONA listing? www.dona.org You might try calling the hospital to see if they know of any doulas practicing in the area (they would know, because they see them). Also, if there are any childbirth educators around, most of them keep a list of that kind of thing.
Are you in the U.S. or Canada? It seems it is more difficult to switch to a midwife in Canada than it is in the U.S. I switched to a hospital midwife group at 34 weeks in my first pregnancy. Having a provider you feel comfortable with makes a huge difference.