Since I have posted a couple rants recently, I figured I'd post an anti-rant (would that be a rave?). I just read a birth story on the Hypnobabies website and the woman writing it (Valerie L.) had some really well put thoughts in her story of how she went from assuming she would have an epidural and an OB to deciding on a natural birth with a midwife.
She explained the difference between OB's and midwives by saying (some) OB's basically take credit for the birth (they "deliver" the baby and lose track of the fact that it is mothers who birth babies) whereas midwives support the mother giving birth to her baby. Seems like a good way to think about it, do you want to have your baby delivered, or do you want to give birth? The quote below also made so much sense to me...after my rant about childbirth shows I remember thinking how so many of the women on the show who went in wanting a natural birth had NO IDEA what they were in for and had done no preparation (probably if they had, they would not have been at that hospital The two women who actually successfully delivered their babies naturally knew what they were doing and, I noticed, had supportive partners who rubbed their backs, talked them through contractions, held them up so they could be in whatever position, etc, whereas a lot of the women had partners who just sat in a chair staring at them or playing with their iphones or whatever and generally had no idea how they could help their wives through this. I probably wouldn't have been able to have a natural birth if I hadn't prepared and didn't have a partner who was willing to be a part of the process, physically as well as mentally and emotionally. Anyway, below is what Valerie wrote:
"I can't tell you how many times I have heard women say "I'm pretty tough and I'd like to do it naturally, so I'll just go to the hospital and see how it goes" (I said this before I became educated about all this stuff!) But that is about as smart as saying, "I think I'd like to climb Mt. Everest so I'm going to take the first plane I can find to Nepal and see how it goes." Any difficult physical task such as running a marathon or giving birth requires preparation - both physical and mental! Natural birthing courses such as the Bradley Method and Hypnobabies provide this necessary training."
Great post, TFS!
Krystal & Donovan - 12/2/06
Reagan - 10/2/02
Maximus - 3/10/05
Liberty - 12/11/08
My angel in Heaven 1/7/13
Enjoyed that quote. TFS!
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
I *completely* agree with this. "I'm tough" had nothing to do with it. There were precisely two things that got me through my NCB: My incredibly supportive partner, and my education on the topic. If I'd gone into a hospital thinking "sure, natural sounds good" with a DH attached to his iPhone, I would have ABSOLUTELY gotten an epidural within an hour, and ended up with pit at least, c-section depending on the OB, because of "failure to progress" (I was at 5-6cm for over 20 hours). Instead, since I had a rock of a DH to lean on (not only because he's awesome but because he was educated on what I would need) and the detailed knowledge of what was and should be happening (and what those medical alternatives' major downsides are, which made them so much less attractive!) I was able to give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby with absolutely no interventions beyond a couple of herbal tinctures.
Education, education, education.
So true! I definitely started out thinking "I'm tough therefore I can" and that helped my confidence for sure but what actually got me through was all the preparation I'd done. I've never felt so vulnerable and so strong simultaneously as I did while in labor with DD. I think if I had not had the support of my MW and DH I would have absolutely caved if there were offers of meds to "help". You can be the most physically strong bullheaded woman in the world but if you haven't prepared yourself with coping mechanisms and everyone around you is telling you to just get the epidural you'll likely do it.