We were visiting family this weekend. The whole thing was hard for me because of the loss. But it was a fun trip. The kids were good and the weather was nice. It was nice to see all the family. But... dh's father said to me that when they found out I was pg they were worried about me because I am too old and that I shouldn't have any more kids and dh should get snipped. Sigh!
eta - I am 38 years old
Ditto Mandy. Shut up FIL! Hugs to you.
Mara & Joel, 2009
Oh, that's just a totally unacceptable thing to say no matter what. I'm so sorry you had to hear it at all, but especially when you are already in a sensitive emotional place.
By the way my mom was 42 when she had my brother and it was just fine.
I'm sorry he said that. It was totally inappropriate. These decisions are private for you and your DH and none of his business. And I think 38 is not "too old" to have a baby at all!
Why do people feel the need to say stuff like that?? I am so sorry.
I think that your FIL misspoke, but that you have to be forgiving. He is giving his point of view (unasked for at that) but likely from a caring place in his heart. He IS concerned for you. Certainly he has spoken to you at a very difficult time in your life, but I'm afraid that many people are like that. I'm willing to bet he has been outspoken to you and others at previous times too. Please don't bear a grudge! There's room for many opinions in this world....
Ivy (4) visits Nana
Thanks ladies. He tends to be like that and I ususally just ignore him. I just didn't say anything back to him. It was still hurtful though. Some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth just makes me cringe.
I agree that there is room for other opinions. Like for example my husbands nephew who just graduated from high school has a son. The baby is 3 months old. They were feeding the baby apple juice. My husband asks me..."isn't 3 months too young for apple juice" and I said "yep". Dh says to his sister "isn't 3 months too young for apple juice". His sister (aka baby's grandma) says well the doc said it was ok because he gets constipated. In my head I said "well if she was breastfeeding the baby he wouldn't be constipated and you wouldn't have to give him juice before his little tummy is ready", but the difference is I didn't actually say that because that would have been hurtful and rude and to be honest I have no idea why she isn't breastfeeding. I wish he could learn manners and know when not to say something. His wife Jan seemed embarassed by the comment and said we should do what we want.
Last edited by Mom2ThreeKiddos; 06-09-2010 at 04:27 PM.
I really hope he didn't mean to hurt you. Hopefully he was just grasping for something to say, and it all came out wrong.
I'm very sorry that it was upsetting and I can definitely understand why it hurt your feelings. I can't imagine what you are going through, and sometimes it is better to just be there supportively and say nothing at all. (((HUGS)))
Ariel & John: Military Family since May 17, 2006
Sylvia: 12/18/08, Justus: 9/17/10, Bunni: 5/11/12, Surprise Baby: Guess Date 11/5/13