Ok, so, I'm copying this first part from my BB to catch you up on what has just happened...
I don't know if I told you all the crazy plans we have for going back to the States for this birth... but the first plan involved living in three different houses in 4 months, one of which was going to be the place where I would birth.
Well, DH and I have been talking and talking and talking and talking about all of this, and I've done a lot of thinking on my own too... and in the end we have decided that when I go home I'm just going to go straight to living with my dad and step-mom (which was the third house we were going to end up in). This is going to be the easiest choice in a lot of ways- I'll be borrowing their (old, gas guzzling) truck while I'm there, so it will save me on gas in that I'll be closer to my midwife, most of my friends, a city full of parks, libraries, malls, restaurants, etc, my beloved La Leche League meeting and more. Also, just being in one place from March-August will obviously be much easier than moving between three different houses. The hard part about this arrangement is the actual living with my dad and step-mom. I get along much better in general with my mom and step-dad, but their house isn't an option (step-dad smokes in the house). I haven't lived with my dad since I was 6 years old, and I've always been kind of thankful for that- he's a great guy, we just often have different ideas about privacy, responsibility, and general running of a household. So, it'll be interesting getting my head in the right space to just enjoy this time, and appreciate it for what it's worth (saving money, a comfortable home, etc).
The other big thing that is changing (I'm waiting for word back from my midwife) is that I'm no longer planning a home birth, but planning on using the midwife's birthing center. I'm a little bummed, but feeling ok overall. The worst part will be the car ride again, but, we'll make it work. The two things I hated about the hospital were 1) I went from a nice quiet, dark room during labor to bright, loud, tons of people surrounding me and touching me and sticking monitors in my belly and hands up my vagina, etc, when DD was about to be born. I HATED that. I wanted to actually birth in the same space I had labored in, but I guess in the hospital, that might just be asking too much. I know the midwife won't do that whether she's at my house or the birth center. And the second thing I didn't like about the hospital was being cooped up there for two days afterward (they would only let me leave AMA). So I know if I birth at the birth center, I'll get to go home the same day. So even though I was hoping to avoid the driving while in labor, I know that the things that I was specifically looking to avoid with a homebirth, I will still get to avoid.
So that's what going on with us! It's only 63 days until DD and I head home! I'm pretty excited!!
So I also emailed my doula to let her know about these changes, and to ask her if they are ok with her as well. So she emails me back and says that yep, it's fine, and if I choose the birth center, her fee will be included in the cost of the birth at the center, and she will be there as my midwife's assistant, rather than my doula, but, I shouldn't notice the difference! (So apparently they, the "dream team" ARE working together officially, I just didn't know it!) I have to tell you, since most of these changes have been financially driven, it is seriously like a sign from the universe/God/whatever that we've made the right decision! It means that instead of paying her $500 as a doula, we basically get her for the cost of the co-pay on the birth! It's just friggin awesome! :)
She also reminded me that, even though the drive from my dad's to the birth center is about 45 minutes, I can make the drive whenever I feel necessary (as soon as I know labor has started) because even once I get to the birth center I don't have to worry about "being on the clock" or interventions or anything! With my last birth I was in the back of the car on hands and knees being yelled at not to push (which my body was doing involuntarily, so I had very little control) because of course, I had chosen to labor as long as possible at home to try to avoid all that stuff at the hospital.
So yeah, basically, I'm feeling a lot better about the whole thing, and like we've really made the right decision! I'm so excited now!
glad you are feeling good about your decisions and they will make things easier. i would hope that now you are an adult, living with your dad will go smoothly and he can respect your privacy (esp. in the last weeks of pregnancy). That's awesome about the doula!!!
That is awesome about the doula, I know what you mean about feeling like it is a sign. Sometimes when you finally figure out a solution to a big problem or scenario, things just start falling into place and it is such a good feeling. Must be nice to know what your plans are! I had the same problem during DS' birth, I dutifully labored at home as long as possible and ended up transitioning in the car and arrived at the hospital 10 cm dilated. Sounds like the perfect way to do it, but it was awful to be in the car during transition and sucked to be on my hands and knees moaning in the hall at the hospital while DH signed papers!
That is awesome for getting everything figured out and settled. I know it may be hard to live with family for the time you are there but it will be really nice not to have to move around so much. And the fact that your MW has a birthing center that you can use is perfect. I'm so glad that everything is falling into place for you. I was looking at your ticker and can't believe you are already 20 weeks! How did it go by that fast?
That's all so awesome! The ride to the birth center was something I wasn't looking forward to either but because my water broke and the MW wanted to see me I rode there comfortably in early labor. I felt so comfortable at the birth center. Perhaps even more comfortable than I would have at home because I didn't have the annoyance of a car ride hanging over my head. I might even head in in early labor next time to avoid the car ride. I definitely see the advantage to laboring as long as you can at home if you're going to the hospital but birth centers are different. Maybe give your MW a call, see how busy the place is, and make the decision from there. Is there a nice place to walk near the birth center? Maybe take a little walking tour and really get things going.
My body started involuntarily pushing while I was still laboring at home- which of course made everyone think the baby was coming any second. My DH broke so many road laws getting us to the hospital that morning! So when we got there we were rushed past any and all checking in or paper signing or anything- then turns out, I was only 6cm dilated, and it was another 4 hours before DD was born- but lord everyone was in a spaz when we first got there! I think we ended up signing everything AFTER the birth though! :)
Originally Posted by acqualin21
Um yeah, seriously, I have no idea. This pregnancy has FLOWN by! But, I love the second half of pregnancy- the big belly, feeling the baby kick, etc... so, I'm enjoying things now, and definitely looking forward to birth and a new baby!
Originally Posted by jolly11sd
So, funny story. I haven't actually ever met my midwife yet. :) Ha! I know my doula, because I had her at my first birth... but I hired the midwife over the phone (she's one of two midwives in the city, and the one ALL my HBing friends have used). So I have no idea even what she looks like, or what the birth center looks like. I'll get to see the center when I go for appts, so, I'm sure I'll have time to figure that all out. :) But in general, I do think we'll be more likely to head to the birth center in early labor rather than waiting at home. Oh, and, as far as I know the BC is actually just her office, with one room converted into a birthing space. She's a one-woman, one-bed operation, so, if someone else is there birthing when I call, we might have a problem! But I think that is probably also why she is selective about clients and obviously how many she takes on at once.
Originally Posted by TiggersMommy
I am definitely very interested to see how things go with labor this time. During DD's labor I did stuff like pack up the last of my necessities, a few snacks, etc, while in early labor. Then we had a 45 minute drive to my dad's house, which was only 15 mins from the hospital. By the time we got to my dad's, I was only there an hour before my water broke and I got all pushy, so basically, things just got GOING. I didn't end up doing ANY of that stuff people do in labor- walking around, whatever... because well, my body was just DOING everything, and I guess it didn't need any extra encouragement. So it will be interesting to see how things go this time!
That is awesome, Mara. I'm so happy it is all coming together for you! I can't believe we are half-way, either.
So happy for you! Sounds like we are in the same boat with having to cancel our HBs and I have a 45 minute drive to the birth center as well (assuming we are still living in our rented house and not our house). So cool that the doula price will be included in your birth price. I also plan to leave the house as soon as I know I am in labor so I can avoid the transition in the car thing that I have done with BOTH of my previous pregnancies.
Congrats all the way around for you!
Wow, that sounds really awesome Mara. I'm so happy it's all coming together for you!!!