Tough Situation

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krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143
Tough Situation

Last time DH didn't find out his official dates for deployment until 30 days out. We knew "round-about" but not firm dates. Same thing is happening this time. The problem is that the midwives I have talked to in WV would like to begin seeing my by 25 weeks. I understand that they want to build a relationship, and I want that too. So, I booked my plane ticket today and DD and I are headed to WV the last week in May. We are hearing that DH should deploy in July... and then I am due in September. Unfortunately, this may mean that our family is separated for much longer than we had anticipated Sad I am so thankful that his family is so great and accepting of us... and I can't wait to see them, but the feeling is so bittersweet. It seems so stupid that DH is in the U.S. and we can't be with him.

On a good note, I have been emailing with a great doula out there, and spoke to a direct-entry MW that I really like so far. Her rate is $2500 and she has lots of experience and references with HBACs and waterbirth. I am supposed to call her to set an appointment as soon as we get in.

kvo's picture
Joined: 12/18/06
Posts: 902

That does suck. Is there any way you could compromise with the MW and change your ticket for a month later? I'm sure she will be very understanding given the circumstances.

rainymama's picture
Joined: 08/24/07
Posts: 409

Yes, maybe explain the situation? That is a long time to be apart, especially when you are still in the same country. I am glad, though, that you are finding good people out there in WV to help you.

MommyHopeful3's picture
Joined: 02/11/07
Posts: 108

I agree that I would explain the situation and see if she might agree to at least 32 weeks. I would think that would still give ample time for her. Maybe you two could do phone talks starting at 25 weeks. Or "bring her along" to your visits to the OB or whoever you are seeing right now. That way she can at least hear what is going on.

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

First, thanks for the sacrifice your family makes for the country.

And yes, that situation stinks. I agree with PP- I'd chat with the midwives about different options. You shouldn't be away from your DH any longer than necessary, especially while preggo!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry Hun.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

How rough Ariel! I don't have anything to add that pp's haven't said, except when you do send your DH off, please give him a hug from our family for his service and tell him we will pray for his safe return. My DD has a hard time when my brother goes overseas, so she said she wanted to pray for all troops even when he returned because she was sad that other nieces couldn't see their uncles because they were over there.

And :bigarmhug: to you too for your service!


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I agree with the other ladies...I would just let your mw know what is going on. In my experience mw's are generally more accommodating. I'm sure if you explained it she would understand. I would definately want to spend as much time with DH!!! Smile

I'm not seeing my mw or meeting her until 33ish weeks! She said the same thing that they like to start earlier but due to our circumstances she understands. (military move to HI and that is the EARLIEST we can move out there!)

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

Awww thank you ladies. Yeah, I've already got my plane ticket, so I am for sure going. I understand why they want to begin seeing me, and especially being an HBAC, I need (and want) that strong relationship with them just as much. It's just so hard waiting until the last minute for dates and stuff.