Trying not to let this bother me....

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kridda_88's picture
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Trying not to let this bother me....

but I just can't help it. So I designed a tee shirt that had the quote "Natural birthing momma, Pregnancy is not an Illness, Labor is not an Emergency, Birth is not a Medical Condition, Natural Birth is Love." and i posted this on facebook and one of my cousin in laws respond with this "...I find quote on the shirt next to the link ridiculous...Sorry."

What's bugging me the most is that she just blew any respect for MY OPINION right out of the water! Why do people think that everyone else opinions on things are wrong?!?!?! It really really bugs me that people can't just say, "that's great that's how you feel, I just don't feel the same way." or just keep it to themselves. You don't tell some one that their opinion on something is ridiculous. It's rude and very low class. Aghhh!

I know what doctors are like. I've had two hospital births with an OB. My opinion is still that the medical field views birth as something bad, or something wrong. They are trained to deal with illness of course they are going to view birth the same.

Okay I think my vent is over now.

jooniper's picture
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Ugh, yeah. People just don't get it.

rainymama's picture
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I am sorry they felt the need to post that. Good for you for sticking up for your ideals.!

kvo
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I only say things like that to my brother when he posts something really politically outrageous. I would just keep my mouth shut otherwise b/c it's rude.

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When I get a post or response like that (usually from my SIL's hubby bc he's a real tool) I try to put all emotion aside & type the most educated response to them. Then I leave it alone. I do wish people could just be respectful of other's opinions...

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I agree with PP. I just tell them that they are very lucky to have had much different experiences than I have with doctors and hospitals, so to please respect how I feel about it as I respect their feelings.

Really, I don't know who the lucky one is though lol. I consider myself pretty lucky to have had my experiences, because without them I never would have been moved to become so informed. Gaining all the information I have and sticking up for me and my baby has been such an empowering experience!!

I do understand why it frustrates you... we are supposed to hold our tongues and respect everyone else, but then we don't get the same in return sometimes. But you can ALWAYS come here and vent Wink

MamaArty_RMT's picture
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I'd delete the comment so I didn't have to look at it, and maybe she'll get the hint that her negative opinions aren't welcome.

kridda_88's picture
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Funny enough this CIL in mention I have actually never meet though she lives right next to her in laws. I'll i've ever heard about her is that she has some sort of anxiety issue in crowds and never even goes to family things.

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You should reply, "no, I'm sorry, for YOU!" Or not. Sometimes it's best just to leave that kind of thing alone. Does she have kids? Maybe she's just totally clueless. No matter what, it sucks to be called "ridiculous." Perhaps you could ask her why she finds it ridiculous.

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"kridda_88" wrote:

Funny enough this CIL in mention I have actually never meet though she lives right next to her in laws. I'll i've ever heard about her is that she has some sort of anxiety issue in crowds and never even goes to family things.

...sounds like that's probably for the best! Ugh.

I'd delete her comment without additional comment too. Gets the point across without adding drama!

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"MamaArty_RMT" wrote:

I'd delete the comment so I didn't have to look at it, and maybe she'll get the hint that her negative opinions aren't welcome.

Ditto this, you don't need it... bubble of peace... bubble of peace... bubble of peace.

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I'll be devil's advocate here. I'm all for natural childbirth, that has always been my goal and I encourage those around me to look into it and keep an open mind, but the phrase 'natural birth is love' rubs me the wrong way (not picking on you here either, I've seen it before) and I'm sure it's probably more irritating for those who aren't pro-natural childbirth. Childbirth is love, however that child comes into the world it is a wonderful, miraculous time. I completely agree with the rest of it, and she might too. But that phrase really seems like it is out there only to make those who didn't have natural births feel bad, kind of braggy, mommy wars type thing. And definitely the kind of phrase that doesn't encourage people to be open minded about natural childbirth because it in itself is a close minded phrase. Not sure if it's meant that way, but it definitely comes off that way to a lot of people.
That's my opinion, take it or leave it Smile

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"mandi04" wrote:

I'll be devil's advocate here. I'm all for natural childbirth, that has always been my goal and I encourage those around me to look into it and keep an open mind, but the phrase 'natural birth is love' rubs me the wrong way (not picking on you here either, I've seen it before) and I'm sure it's probably more irritating for those who aren't pro-natural childbirth. Childbirth is love, however that child comes into the world it is a wonderful, miraculous time. I completely agree with the rest of it, and she might too. But that phrase really seems like it is out there only to make those who didn't have natural births feel bad, kind of braggy, mommy wars type thing. And definitely the kind of phrase that doesn't encourage people to be open minded about natural childbirth because it in itself is a close minded phrase. Not sure if it's meant that way, but it definitely comes off that way to a lot of people.
That's my opinion, take it or leave it Smile

I see what you're saying, but does that mean it's "ridiculous"? Even if that's where the cousin is coming from, the word choice of "ridiculous" is derogatory & insulting. A better language, if that was the case, would be something like, "Um, I thought *all* birth was love?"

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I think I would encourage some dialog, if I thought it might help. I do agree with Mandi even if I don't agree with how your CIL replied. I would probably ask her "What's rediculous?" and see if she'll reply - maybe a good conversation will come of it, if not then I'd just let it go.

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"mandi04" wrote:

I'll be devil's advocate here. I'm all for natural childbirth, that has always been my goal and I encourage those around me to look into it and keep an open mind, but the phrase 'natural birth is love' rubs me the wrong way (not picking on you here either, I've seen it before) and I'm sure it's probably more irritating for those who aren't pro-natural childbirth. Childbirth is love, however that child comes into the world it is a wonderful, miraculous time. I completely agree with the rest of it, and she might too. But that phrase really seems like it is out there only to make those who didn't have natural births feel bad, kind of braggy, mommy wars type thing. And definitely the kind of phrase that doesn't encourage people to be open minded about natural childbirth because it in itself is a close minded phrase. Not sure if it's meant that way, but it definitely comes off that way to a lot of people.
That's my opinion, take it or leave it Smile

I think you have a valid point- NCBers have the tendency to come off as a little bit holier-than-thou... but what "natural childbirth is love" does NOT say is "unnatural childbirth is not love", nor do I think it's meant to imply that. But yes, I chose natural childbirth- even though it means I'm likely to have to work harder and (sorry, you bubble-of-peacers) endure some rather intense pain, because I believe the outcome will be best for my baby. That is a choice I made out of love.
I won't say women choose other ways out of a lack of love for their babies- of course not! If a mommy chooses a c-section to save her baby's life- that's a choice made out of love. Of course.

But I hate that in our society we've gotten to the point we can't say anything positive about the choices we've made for fear of hurting someone who made a different choice.

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Don't let her bother you. Everyone is going to have a problem with something. I am proud of you for starting your own business, I may even buy a shirt!

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I'd delete her from my friends list, if I were you. You don't know her, and she's leaving mean/insulting comments on your pics. If the comment actually left room for meaningful dialogue, I'd probably go that route, but she didn't do that. Nix her.