I did it!!!!! I took the last spot for a June birth at the midwifery clinic. Woo-hoo....I feel better already!
I suppose it could have gone worse. I've had to continually remind myself that by sticking it out with her and the hospital I am saving over $4000. If we weren't sinking a TON of money into our house in hopes of selling it in the next 5 years, I'd be making the switch.
She asked if anything was new since our last appt. I said I had decided to do NCB this time and had hired a doula to help me manage the discomfort without the epi. She gave me a "you're weird" look and said "why do you want to do that?" I explained that I always envisioned myself giving birth naturally and wanted to do a water birth and the only reason I didn't with Zoe was b/c my anxiety was out of control at the time and I chose induction at 41 weeks due to having to start a new job only 3 weeks later. She asked if I was doing any sort of class to prepare for NCB and I said hypnobabies. She did seem to know what it was and thought hiring the doula was a good idea too if I was committed to NCB.
She then said "most people that want that give birth at home with a midwife." I explained that I really didn't want to give birth at my home, not for safety reasons, but b/c my home is very cramped and full of animals--not a relaxing place. I made it clear that the only reason I am going to the hospital is because my insurance won't cover a birthing center. I also asked her about how many of her patients do NCB and she said about 10-15%, which is considerably higher than the hospital's stats which are 3%. So I know she is at least familiar with delivering babies in that manner.
As for the IV--she said it is not "standard" to do an IV. I had one b/c Zoe's heart-rate was unstable and they were trying to stabilize her with fast fluids. I'm going to have to look into that a bit more since I don't really know if it was "necessary." If it was and actually helped keep me from getting an emergency c-section then I guess the IV was the right thing to do. I did agree to the hep-lock since the idea doesn't really bother me that much.
Movement during labor will not be restricted and I can choose to push in whatever position I want to. She does not do episiotomies and she will not break my water if I don't want her to. I asked about when the cord is typically cut and she said she usually clamps it once the baby begins crying. I asked if that meant it stopped pulsing and she said there is no way to tell when it's stopped for sure and that if the baby is not wrapped up well he could go into shock (not sure how that relates to cord-cutting). So that's an issue I need to look into more as well. She had no problem with DH going with Liam to get circ'ed and that it is done the day after he is born, which we are okay with.
I then asked her about how my induction may have altered my birth experience (making it more intense and difficult). She said since I was not given pitocin, that it probably was not much different that if I had not been induced. Since I had a very fast labor the first time, I can expect it to be similarly fast this time. When I asked her how long I will be allowed to labor before they try to augment, she said that it was going to most likely be a non-issue given how fast things went with Zoe.
So, yeah...not great, but not terrible either. Especially since she has always been respectful of my decisions regarding birth, pg, and my m/c.
If I remember correctly from my Bradley instructor, the cord can contain as much as 1/3 of the baby's blood volume. If it is clamped, that blood will not make it through the cord and into baby. Just in my own case, if we are going to delay cutting of the cord, we will also not want it clamped in any form either. Receiving the blood can increase baby's iron as well as decrease the risk for anemia for the first 6 months (I believe). But that is totally a personal decision
Her responses would definitely make me feel a little uneasy, but I do understand your reasons for staying with her. And honestly, she won't be there the whole time you are laboring anyways. I would be more worried about the nurses and hospital policies. Is she going to sign your birth plan for you so that the nurses know she is on board with your decisions? That would be great, so that hopefully you won't meet much resistance once you are in the hospital.
Also, just curious, you may have said this before and I missed it, but how were you induced with DD? I know there are many other things than pitocin that can lead to a more intense labor/birth experience. Heck, even nipple stimulation can cause VERY intense contractions.
I'm glad you are ok with what she said, and that you are secure in the fact that even if she doesn't agree she will honor your decisions. Go with your gut Mama, and if you are happy and healthy, and so is baby, then hopefully you won't have any issues
Ariel & John: Military Family since May 17, 2006
Sylvia: 12/18/08, Justus: 9/17/10, Bunni: 5/11/12, Surprise Baby: Guess Date 11/5/13
I can't say it's my ideal birth situation, but I do believe that the doula will be able to assist me in resisting the epi and I will be able to collect on my AFLAC hospitalization policy thereby getting $2800 and have about 98% of my total costs covered by my dual health insurance policies as well. So in total, I save nearly $7000 by going this route (which coincidentally will allow us to have energy efficient windows installed in our house).
I'm glad the talk went well and you're feeling okay about things! Like someone else said, I would make sure she signs off on it and have a copy (or two) of it with you when you go to hospital. When I was with the OB she scanned a copy of mine to go into my electronic file and they sent one to the maternity center. I also planned to have two copies in my hospital bag -- one for the nurse and one for back-up.
Are you wanting to delay cord clamping/cutting then? Sounded like it from your post, but I wasn't positive.
I feel pretty embarrassed that I waited so long to change my mind about my birth plans. I just didn't have the confidence before and then all of a sudden, I did. I appreciate that no one here has judged me on my flip-flopping.
Flip-flopping happens...nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm just glad that you are less anxious and more confident and that Chris is supportive.!
Also, I think it is exciting to hear about your home improvements. By the time you get it completed you'll want to stay there!
Leo (3 1/2) with Malcolm the cat
Thanks for posting this. I am gearing up for a conversation with my OB next week, whom I have never met. I see the midwife for my appts. I appreciate hearing how your talk went, and what you said, and hopefully my talk will go as well as yours. I needed that idea about getting the birth plan signed.
You switched!! That's great! Post more details?
BTW the other stuff with the OB sounded okay, but I would be really concerned about the cord clamping. That's a huge one for me--the benefits of waiting are enormous for both mother and baby, and the downsides of doing it early are pretty scary. Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering has a whole chapter on all the studies about it, and even suggest ways to have it delayed with a C-section. And "there's no way to tell" is a RIDICULOUS response. If you can't tell, just wait until the placenta is delivered, that's a pretty clear sign! (That's my mw's policy).
I don't think you're flip flopping at all...I think you're changing your mind as you learn more and taking the steps to get what you need, rather than sticking with a system you're no longer comfortable with just because it's easier than switching. That's nothing but admirable!