UPDATED - DH and the Doula Connundrum
DH is being reluctantly supportive of the idea of having a doula, but not exactly enthusiastic. It kind of seems like he feels like I don't trust that he'll be enough support for me - though both the doula and I stated otherwise. I haven't signed the contract yet, because I have just not yet felt like I have gotten to the point where I can commit without DH's full support. I know it sounds dumb - I am the one who will be laboring and attempting NCB for the first time, and it should be my choice, but it's DH's first time going through all of this, and I don't want him to feel minimized - KWIM? And the fact that the doula costs a significant chunk of money (though I don't think $500 is all that bad!) isn't helping my cause. He continuously tells me that he'll support me and that I can do what I want, but that he doesn't really think that the doula is necessary. He says that between the birthing class (which is not a NCB class, but a regular hospital birthing class) and the fact that this is my third pregnancy, that we should be able to handle it ourselves. He asked me to wait until after the childbirth classes are over (in mid June - WAY TOO CLOSE to my due date to expect that my chosen doula will still have availability for me!) because he thinks that he'll learn everything there that can help me labor naturally as I am wanting to do.
So I thought that maybe reading The Birth Partner might give him some ideas about what it means to support me during labor, and maybe reinforce the idea that a doula would be helpful. But I haven't read it, yet. Those who have read it, do you think it would help or hinder my cause in this case? Any other suggestions on how to reinforce my desire to DH and to get him on board with the doula idea?
And let me add, here, that I really think that a doula will be very important in my journey to NCB - I have a feeling that without that experienced support line that I will cave early and ask for an epi or something along those lines. I am just not sure that I will be as strong as I want to be when the laboring becomes hard...
So last night DH and I talked about it again... and he told me that if I think I need a doula and it's that important to me, I should go ahead and hire her. He's still not completely on board, but he said that he's in my corner, and if it's what I want, he'll stand behind me and be supportive. He did say that he reserves the right to kick her out of the birthing room if he has to - I see no reason why that would happen, so I told him it's a done deal... LOL I can only hope that when all of this is over, and we have our baby boy, he'll be thankful that she was there. :) Thanks for the help, ladies - letting him read this post and all of your responses was part of the reason, I think, that he is being supportive. :)