I met with one of the midwives yesterday for the local birth center. At first it sounded like they weren't going to even take me on because they normally require a span of 2 years between pregnancies and DS is 17 months. But after consulting with the other midwife they agreed to risk it and take me on. The wait is a requirement by some governing board of theirs. Everything was going great after that. She even suggested I could just as easily do a homebirth since I live just as close to the hospital as the birth center is. Sounds nice. She told me that care starts at 12 weeks, which would put me in November for care to start. Then she asked about insurance and when I told her it was BCBSTX her face fell and she said they don't pay for midwives unless they are PA's too and these are not. They are LM, CPM. So that would make me a cash pay, and the full amount would have to be paid by mid April.
The amount is only a little bit more than what our copay would be for a RCS with insurance, which makes it seem like a simple decision. Unless, I pay the midwives and then end up with a RCS anyway. In that case you are looking at double the amount because we'd have to pay both groups. Its a LOT of money to us. When I told DH about the costs being the same either way, he immediately went to how much it would cost if we had to pay both. And said that its a lot of money to throw at a MAYBE (referring to my VBA2C attempt). So it appears the my DH has no faith that I could even be successful at a VBA2C, and without his full support and backing, I've got nothing. The midwives were my only option for even having a chance at a VBA2C at all. There is no doctor within a 4 hour drive from here that would even allow me to try for a VBA2C. Under the current circumstances I am left with only one option and that is a scheduled RCS.
The only other options are, 1. I could not find an OB and do all my prenatal care on my own. Monitor my BP, the babies hear rate, my blood sugar since I have stuff to do all that with. Then when I go into labor, stay home as long as possible and show up at the hospital only if there is an emergency or when the baby is pretty already coming out so they can't rush me into the OR. (The hospital is listed as allowing VBAC but is not at all VBAC friendly). 2. I could get a teaching job, put my kids in daycare and pay for the midwives out of my own salary. Then if I end up with a RCS anyway I could also pay for that with my salary and DH's salary wouldn't come into play. Then I could well and truly say I did it entirely on my own. I hate this option, because I don't want to put my kids in daycare and I would be miserable working my first year as a teacher while pregnant and trying to prep for a VBA2C. There would pretty much be no time at all to prepare myself for a VBA2C.
I am absolutely gutted over this. I can compare the pain and despair to a death of someone close, it is that painful of a loss. I just wanted on birth on my own terms. Just one time I wanted one chance to truly give birth. Alas, it appears it wasn't meant to be. Anyway, that's my story. I'd like to thank you all for the support and encouragement you've given me even during my very short stay here. I wish you all the best.