What helped you over the mental hurdle...
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    Mega Poster krazykat's Avatar
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    Default What helped you over the mental hurdle...

    to home-birth or HBAC?

    I am definitely interested, but I am stuck. I am having trouble crossing over the "what if something goes really wrong; especially since I am a VBAC mom" mental block. I REALLY think I would be more comfortable at home. When I compare the hospital vs home environment in my mind, home wins hands down. But the numbers are just getting to me. I know the risk is very very small, but it is there and I am having trouble truly working through that. I know that the hospital has risks in and of itself. It is just hard re-programming this whole mind-set of "hospital = safe" that I have had for my entire life, mostly b/c my mom is an L&D nurse and has a PhD in pediatric nursing. She is obviously medically minded and against HBAC... and some of her points are truly valid. BUT I KNOW I would be more comfortable at home, which would probably ensure easier progression of labor.

    I feel like when the student is ready the teacher will appear, so I am not very worried about finding a MW to attend an HBAC. I think that when I decide that I am truly ready, then the situation will present itself.

    I appreciate ANYTHING you ladies have to add
    Ariel & John: Military Family since May 17, 2006

    Sylvia: 12/18/08, Justus: 9/17/10, Bunni: 5/11/12, Surprise Baby: Guess Date 11/5/13



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    Posting Addict MamaArty_RMT's Avatar
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    I choose to homebirth because I know that when something goes wrong, it almost always goes wrong slowly with plenty of indication that things are headed down the wrong path. Because my midwives are trained to identify these indicators. Because it takes most hospitals 30 minutes to prep the OR for a c section and that is plenty of time for us to get to the hospital (with a phone ahead from my midwife).

    I think that if I was planning an HBAC I would definitely be more nervous. I would want to talk to a midwife who was experienced in HBAC births for reassurance.

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    Posting Addict jooniper's Avatar
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    I'm not a VBAC momma, but I know the biggest help for me with going with a natural birth (and this time, going with a home birth) is hearing success stories. Like this one: (also a VBAC momma, she used to be on here, not sure if she still is) http://thecaldwell5.blogspot.com/2010/02/our-eden.html . Man I read that and I wanted to get pregnant and have a baby at home right then and there!
    I'm lucky, I have two older sisters who have had wonderful natural births and they convinced me this was something I could do. But now I'm taking it a step further with a homebirth and it's kind of fun to be the trailblazer ya know? BUt it does mean that I have to look for good homebirth role models elsewhere.
    -Jenn -
    my family blog--my pics--
    Married to Kenny Aug '06


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    Mega Poster krazykat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jooniper View Post
    I'm not a VBAC momma, but I know the biggest help for me with going with a natural birth (and this time, going with a home birth) is hearing success stories. Like this one: (also a VBAC momma, she used to be on here, not sure if she still is) http://thecaldwell5.blogspot.com/2010/02/our-eden.html . Man I read that and I wanted to get pregnant and have a baby at home right then and there!
    I'm lucky, I have two older sisters who have had wonderful natural births and they convinced me this was something I could do. But now I'm taking it a step further with a homebirth and it's kind of fun to be the trailblazer ya know? BUt it does mean that I have to look for good homebirth role models elsewhere.
    Oh myyyyy, that was a beautiful story. TFS! I read birth stories ALL DAY sometimes... I think I'm obsessed!! I LOVE them and they truly are a source of inspiration and encouragement for me.
    Ariel & John: Military Family since May 17, 2006

    Sylvia: 12/18/08, Justus: 9/17/10, Bunni: 5/11/12, Surprise Baby: Guess Date 11/5/13



  5. #5
    drakew
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    Mine was four part in helping me.

    First was that I was not happy with the mw at our local hospital and wanted to search somewhere else. Well my only other option is the city 45 minutes away. I decided I would rather have someone drive that distance to me in labor than vica verca.

    Second was meeting with my mw and talking to her about all of my concerns. I had a list of what ifs and she talked me through what happens in all of those, and how I would be safe. She also talked to me about all she can and has to do, this really helped.

    Third was reading tons of positive articles on hb. There are some really good studies out there about the safety of hb. Also what arty mentioned about the time frame for a c/s helped and knowing the hospital is literally right around the corner.

    Fourth is a personal one. I have generalized anxiety disorder and hospitals and needles and all things medical tend to make me panic. I was worried that if I went with a hospital birth my anxiety would go up, which is not good for me or the baby. Also for me hoem is my safe place and deep in my heart I just knew that is where I wanted to be.

    This was all with my first. After having one hb it was not even an option for me to have this one any other way. In fact my biggest birth fear is getting opted out of my hb.

  6. #6
    kvo
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    I am not giving birth at home (way too small, crowded, too many animals). If my home were bigger and more accommodating, I would hire a MW who had also delivered at a hospital where I was comfortable and one that my insurance covered in-network. I would take a tour of the hospital so that I would know what to expect if I needed to be transferred there. I would ask to meet the OB that worked with the MW in cases where c-section was required.

    For me feeling like I know what to expect in all scenarios really help alleviate fears. HTH and good luck with your HBAC.
    *Kristen*
    DD-Zoe July 2007
    DS-Liam June 2010




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    Posting Addict Melychang's Avatar
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    I planned a homebirth both times but the first ended in a c/s. My sister was born at home and it is one of my first memories. To me it just felt right and natural. Honestly I hadn't really thought of the risks until my third trimester when a lady on this board or the hb board lost her baby and was dealing with some negative attitudes because she homebirthed. I had a long talk with my mom and dh about the risks then. I had done my research about hb and we basically talked about it again and I realized again that hb was just as safe, I was close to the hospital if needed and I had chosen competent midwives. But I also knew that if something happened I didn't have the easy way out of blaming the doctor or hospital. I had to know that if something happened that it was most likely going to happen in a hospital or at home. For my hbac, I was a bit more scared but I knew the right place was at home. I knew that for the birth I wanted it needed to be at home. I was a bit nervous because the risks are higher but I was confident that I could birth a baby and I had an excellent support system. There was a point in my labour that was exactly like my first birth and I was terrified but I had my SIL who had had a vbac that helped me through it.

    IDK - I think for me it was my support team and they really believed in my and what I was doing. And dh and I talked and we agreed at the slightest indication of something going wrong we go in.

    Good luck!
    Melynda
    Mommy to three gorgeous girls
    Ally 22/03/07
    Zoe 01/12/08
    Georgia 04/10/10
    at 6 weeks 22/10/09

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    Posting Addict MamaArty_RMT's Avatar
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    A couple of really great homebirth story collections are "Adventures in Natural Childbirth" edited by Janet Schwegel and "Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent.

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    Posting Addict jooniper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaArty_RMT View Post
    A couple of really great homebirth story collections are "Adventures in Natural Childbirth" edited by Janet Schwegel and "Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent.
    While I loved Baby Catcher, it has a LOT of emergency/transferred to hospital stories... I actually found myself less optimistic about homebirth after reading it, though it DOES show that a good midwife can get you to the hospital in time.
    -Jenn -
    my family blog--my pics--
    Married to Kenny Aug '06


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    Posting Addict momW's Avatar
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    As of right now I am still planning to HBA2C this fall. I don't know that I've truly gotten over the mental "what if's" game I've been playing with myself. I've been reading, reading and reading. I ordered a bunch of books about the maternity system in general and how destroyed it is and I also ordered some from Ina Mae Gaskin about natural birth. I've also become a birth story addict If I come across something that I think really helps me I will PM it to you!

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