Will I be a failure if I give in?
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Thread: Will I be a failure if I give in?

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    Default Will I be a failure if I give in?

    DH and I are planning a wonderful HypnoBabies birth at a hospital with as little medical intervention as possible. We have a written yet flexible birth plan, and have discussed our wishes with the hospital and the OB office to find out what they are on board with and what can't be changed based on policy. We have a good outlook and are hopeful and positive about our upcoming birth.

    I am 40 weeks today. I have my next OB apt on Friday. And I finally gave in and scheduled an induction date for next Tuesday. However, I'm beginning to re-think the date of the induction, for two reasons. And I'm not sure how good of reasons they are. We are considering moving the induction date up to this Friday instead of next Tuesday.

    1- So that DH can take the three day weekend, instead of a T/W/Th and then probably Fri off of work. This would normally not be even a consideration for us. However, DH has been really sick for the last few months, has been in the ER twice, and has missed and had to take significant time off of work. This has had a severely negative impact on our financial situation, and we are concerned that we won't be able to provide as well as we had originally planned. By moving the date to a Friday, it will mean missing only one day of work, instead of three.

    2- The OB that will be on call for that day. There are five OBs in the office, I've seen all of them and like most of them. The one that is on call next Tuesday, we've only had a chance to see once, and I don't remember being that impressed with him. Not quite unhappy, but the only thing I remember is how rushed the apt was. The one that would be there on Friday is one that my husband really likes, and I think is fine. Neither one of them we have spoken with about our wishes for our natural childbirth, so we aren't sure how on board they are with a natural childbirth. However, I get the feeling that we would be more successful with one that we have already clicked with and have a positive relationship with. The other thing that has me worried is that the next Tuesday OB will have been on call the whole weekend, and then again on Tuesday. I know the office wouldn't make him work if he wasn't up to it, but I'm concerned he wouldn't be able to properly rest having only one day between such a long shift, and maybe it would affect him. That one makes me feel guilty, but I'm all about being emotional right now, aren't I? (We did consider moving it to next Monday because of this, since we both absolutely love the OB that will be there next Monday, but then I feel dumb moving it up one day because DH will still miss three days of work instead of one.)

    So what are your thoughts? Do I simply leave things as they are? I obviously need to do more of the Fear Clearing session. But these are the parts that I have control over, so do I make any changes? Are these reasons even good enough to make the changes? It seems they are the exact pitfalls we wanted to avoid by having a natural childbirth.
    ~*Marie*~
    Single Mom parenting my kids the best way *I* know how
    FH - My former husband and the man that blessed me with both my kidlets
    DS - My May 2010 Moonbeam born
    BG - My baby girl expected in Dec 2013

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    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Your best in achieving a "wonderful HypnoBabies birth at a hospital with as little medical intervention as possible," is to avoid induction altogether. Changing from next Tuesday to this Friday really makes no difference. You're tampering with nature to try to induce labor, especially if your body isn't ready for it, and you run the risk of having a completely medicated & intervention-filled delivery at best, and an "it became medically necessary" c-section at worst. I personally wouldn't even begin to think about induction before 42 weeks, and even then I'd lean toward natural methods over a medical induction unless it was medically necessary. Good luck with your decision, but I'd say just stay strong & just wait for that baby to choose his/her own birthday!
    David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!

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    Prolific Poster rainymama's Avatar
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    Marie! First and foremost you are NOT a failure!!!!!!
    You have a lot to think about. There are many considerations you are taking into account.
    We are the same along in due dates, and i am wondering why there is already talk of induction? I guess that is my biggest question.
    My very first baby was induced a few days after due date and those Pit contractions are INTENSE. I don't know if I could personally handle it without meds, although there are women on here who have done it. I didn't know any hypnobabies or anything at thiat time.
    There are other risks to induction. i know you know this. So i guess aside from work schedule, I just wonder what the medical reasons are for induction at this point?
    And I hope that I am not coming across unfeeling, because I don't feel that way.
    Do you know what your Bishop's score is? The fear clearing sessions may help you think more clearly about what you want, but without some medical reason or knowing your chances for a successful induction, I wouldn't make a decision based on which OB is on call, how long they have been on call, or work schedule without knowing ALL the facts.
    -Elizabeth
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    Posting Addict Melychang's Avatar
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    I think it must be strange to all of a sudden have a choice in your babies arrival. So if you are wanting that choice then go with Friday, but I really caution you to do your research into the medical reasons for being induced and the complications of it. And remember you can choose when to start the induction but if your body and babe are not ready there is ultimately only one way to speed things up and that is a c-section. Basically what I am saying is if you were induced on Friday there is not guarantee that you will have your baby on Friday if you want to go naturally. I was in labour for 3 days with my first.


    I personally would not choose to be induced unless I was 42 wks. I would not want to deal with pitocin and then the very slippery slope to a c-section.

    Good luck with your decision. Be well informed with your choices and you will never be a failure in my eyes.
    Melynda
    Mommy to three gorgeous girls
    Ally 22/03/07
    Zoe 01/12/08
    Georgia 04/10/10
    at 6 weeks 22/10/09

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    Posting Addict MrsMangoBabe's Avatar
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    I was going to say pretty much the same things that have already been said. Have you read this: http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/timely.asp? It has a good explanation about why going past 40 weeks is nothing to worry about. I personally would never agree to induction before 42 weeks without a solid medical reason for it. You are much more likely to get the birth you're planning if it begins spontneously.
    -Brittany
    Doula, Childbirth Educator, and Mom to three adorable troublemakers
    Two time joyful Hypnobabies natural birthing mom
    My blog: Birth Unplugged

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    Mega Poster krazykat's Avatar
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    Why do you say you "gave in" and scheduled an induction? Were you being pressured? Is that something you want? Are there any medical reasons? If you are set on inducing, if it were me and I was going to do anything at all, I would push the induction date LATER. If Friday is so important, then why not next Friday? You won't even be 42 weeks at that point.

    This is a hard question for me to answer without being strong in my personal beliefs, so forgive me if it comes across wrong... I sincerely don't mean to. With DD my DH was deployed to Iraq. He left when I was 3 months pregnant, and was graciously granted a 2 week mid-tour leave around my due date. We got sucked into the "we have to have the baby by this date" mentality. We scheduled an induction. I ended up getting sick and medically needing an induction to possibly save mine and DD's life, but if that had not been the case we would have gone through with the induction merely for convenience sake. I will NEVER get caught up in that way of thinking again. This baby is due in September, and DH is deploying in July to Afghanistan. He won't even be here for this birth and we have planned it that way so that we don't get caught up on a "time schedule" for making the baby appear.

    The money always has a way of working out. The money would not be worth the risks of an induction to me at this point. The thought of "planning" everything out to a "t" is attractive... I do understand that, as I have had those feelings before too. Why move the date up instead of back?

    And finally, the OB will likely not have a lot to do with your labor anyways. I would strongly recommend a doula or another attendant who is entirely supportive of your birth plans. That can go a long way in achieving the birth you truly desire.

    Listen to your affirmations some more too. Your body and your baby know best... and in all honesty, if it were me, I don't think any of the reasons listed are worth taking the risks associated with induction and intervention in a natural process.

    With that being said, will you be a failure either way? Absolutely not. Trust your body and your baby to present the best path to you. Any mother who births a baby is a success. What is a failure when it comes to childbirth anyways? I wish you peace of mind in making the best decisions for you, your baby, and your family!
    Ariel & John: Military Family since May 17, 2006

    Sylvia: 12/18/08, Justus: 9/17/10, Bunni: 5/11/12, Surprise Baby: Guess Date 11/5/13



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    Mega Poster krazykat's Avatar
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    OH yeah, one more thing I forgot to say... along the lines of what a PP said. Sometimes inductions are not as cut and dry as they seem to be when you schedule them. I.e. you go in on such and such date, then have your baby. Often, you are supposed to call the hospital on your "scheduled" date of induction and they let you know if they are full or not and if you should come in or call back in a few hours. I have NEVER heard of anyone actually getting in on the first call (in my experience with friend's inductions). Sometimes they get in later in the evening, and sometimes they don't get in for several days. It all depends on how the priority list falls.
    Ariel & John: Military Family since May 17, 2006

    Sylvia: 12/18/08, Justus: 9/17/10, Bunni: 5/11/12, Surprise Baby: Guess Date 11/5/13



  8. #8
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    My two cents - you won't be a failure, no matter what you decide. However, having done a Pitocin birth last time around (my water broke at 36w + 5d after an external version), I would not choose that type of birth voluntarily. I think you've gotten a lot of good advice, and I wish you the best of luck with your decision.

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    Posting Addict TyrantOfTheWeek's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    Your best in achieving a "wonderful HypnoBabies birth at a hospital with as little medical intervention as possible," is to avoid induction altogether. Changing from next Tuesday to this Friday really makes no difference. You're tampering with nature to try to induce labor, especially if your body isn't ready for it, and you run the risk of having a completely medicated & intervention-filled delivery at best, and an "it became medically necessary" c-section at worst. I personally wouldn't even begin to think about induction before 42 weeks, and even then I'd lean toward natural methods over a medical induction unless it was medically necessary. Good luck with your decision, but I'd say just stay strong & just wait for that baby to choose his/her own birthday!
    Yeah that. Cancel the induction.

    Dylan 4/22/04, Devon 6/24/06,Dorothy 9/13/07, Derek 12/19/09, Daniel 12/18/10, Daphne 2/24/12
    Mindie and Mark, 5/16/09

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    Posting Addict faeriecurls's Avatar
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    I agree with PPs - you won't be a failure with whatever you choose, but I also would not schedule an induction so early for non-medical reasons. Is your OB pressuring you into scheduling one? Have you tried any natural things to try and move things along? I think that Ariel's suggestion of next Friday if having a scheduled date is that important would make more sense. Good luck with your decision.
    Erica
    DD 9/3/2010



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