wishing for the impossible

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rainymama's picture
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wishing for the impossible

I had a great appt today with my midwife. baby measures 31 weeks, i haven't gained any weight, hb great, feeling good, etc. I thanked her for recommending Hypnobabies to me last time. She has never listened to the tracts but has been present at many hypnobabies births where she just heard the tracts playing for the mom. She told me how confident she is in my body for birthing this baby naturally and just encouraged me to keep doing what I am doing.
here's the impossible part...she doesn't attend births. She was a homebirth midwife for years but now is "taking a break" from attending births. I don't know why, but she is not going to be there. She also told me that the OB that she works for, who will do a waterbirth in the hospital for me, is the only OB who does them there. She told me that if my OB is not there for the birth that I could ask for midwifery care and SOME of the covering midwifes will do the waterbirth, but not all.
Here is my "big idea." I wonder if I could hire her as a doula? Would she have to be a "certified doula?" Or can I just ask her if she would attend and pay her like a doula? ...big sigh... It could very easily happen that I have nobody there who knows what to do to support me...I mean, Dh will be there, but he's so MEDICAL. Even if he tries not to be medical, that's how he thinks. He has been supportive of the hypnobabies, in that he doesn't make fun of me (he's not like that) and he understands that when I make up my mind about something he can't change it, usually. BUT...I need UNMEDICAL support. I need NCB support. I guess if my midwife says no to that idea, I could look into hiring an actual doula. I just am already comfortable with her and her knowledge of what I have done and what I want to do. Gosh, I just want to say how badly I want to be in such perfect hypnosis that the baby comes so easily I don't even feel like going to the hospital. I "know" I will be at the hospital, but I am not looking forward to it.
I found a freestanding birth center in my area today online, and they encourage waterbirths. Do i dare even bring it up? :confused:

klmj's picture
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I have a friend who lives down your way who's a doula. She's not attending births right now, but she might know someone who could help you if your MW isn't available as a doula.

Glad you had a good appt & hope things can get worked out so you have the support you need.

MrsMangoBabe's picture
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Your midwife does not have to be a certified doula to attend your birth as a doula. There aren't any laws governing the certification or practice of doulas, so, technically, *anyone* can be a doula. Cerification is just a way to let people know you have certain training and knowledge. She may be taking a break from attending births because she doesn't want to be on-call, though, but you'll never know until you ask her.

I think you should look into the birth center. If I lived close enough to a birth center that birthing there would be a reasonable option, I would do it, personally. I think you should do whatever you feel will give you the best chances of having the birth you want.

faeriecurls's picture
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Yay for a good appointment!

I would definitely ask your midwife about the possibility of her being a support person during your birth, but also look into other options so you can make sure that you will have the support you need to get the birth you want! Good Luck!!!