Would love advice regarding DS attending this birth...
I need some advice...
My first born is 8 years old and he is very smart and mature for his age. He is super excited about this baby especially since its the chance he might finally get a brother. He has two younger sisters and desperately wants a baby brother this time around. We are being surprised on gender so the big reveal when I have the baby will be a really cool moment. He wants to be at the birth and I am more than happy to have him there. I think he could totally handle it. He was actually at DD1's birth...not planned but we had no choice as we had to rush to the hospital when I was in transition and we had no time to get him to my sisters house. So he witnessed her birth at age 3 and handled it really well. He also claims to remember that and said he would be fine this time around also. He understands where a baby comes out of and that there may be blood and I will be in pain, etc. but he thinks he could be just fine to see it all.
My problem is this: DH thinks he is way too young to see that. Granted, he was younger when he witnessed DD1 being born but we had no choice in that situation so it couldn't be helped. He thinks he is too young and also thinks since he is a boy he should see it. I really want to bring up the topic again and see if we can discuss it and come to an understanding about it.
We had a talk the other day about it and he revealed to me that he doesn't really think anyone other than him and the hospital staff, my midwife, etc. should ever be there...but in the past I have had two sisters and DS at one birth, and my mom at my most recent birth. I asked him if he wished they weren't there and he said he preferred that others are not present, but he agrees to it because it is ultimately up to me to decide who gets to be there. The only reason he is putting his foot down regarding DS being there this time is because of his age, and also maybe because he is a boy.
I think part of the reason DH feels this way is because he was raised in a home where they didn't show a lot of public affection for eachother. He hardly ever saw his parents hug or kiss, they kept that kind of thing to the bedroom when they had privacy. When we first started dating he had a hard time just showing affection to me in public...even something as simple as holding my hand. So maybe he thinks something like this should be very private and not visible for just anyone to see and be a part of.
I know a lot of you, especially you lucky girls who get to have home births, are all about having your kids witness the wonderful moment of your babies being born, and I would totally be the same way if I had the option. But I have my babies in a hospital, and even though I go all natural and have a midwife, I still have them in a hospital. I don't think there is anything wrong with having one of our children be part of the experience.
I think DS would love it and it would be such a special moment especially if we have another son. Any advice or thoughts on how I could bring it up again and approach it in a way that would make him understand that it could be a great experience for all of us and such a wonderful moment for DS to be a part of....anything would be appreciated. Thanks!!!!