Wow... ( a little OT)

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kridda_88's picture
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798
Wow... ( a little OT)

So i just had a "friend" have a baby last night and her entire pregnancy she has been telling me that she wanted to "try" to go natural or at least go natural as long as possible. Well I noticed that the past month or so she has been avoiding me. Not texting back and wont talk to me on facebook. I NEVER talk to her about natural stuff, I told her my experience right after she told me she wanted to "try" it and gave her my advice but have said nothing sense. Well, when she had a sister make a snotty comment about waiting so long to get the epidural I nicely commented back that my friend wanted to "try" and go natural so that's probably why she waited. Well her other sister comments back to me by saying, "she just talked to her sister and she NEVER wanted to go natural." So I texted my friend and she tore into me to saying she never planned on going natural. Well you could have fooled me by all the talking we did about it while you were pregnant!!!!! Grrr. So I'm the bad guy for bringing it up and trying to stand up for her for something I *thought* she wanted. But I guess I must have miss understood her all those times. Her and her sisters didn't have to be so mean about it though. Ever sense I've gotten into natural birthing I've lost so many friends because I talk about it. I never force it on them and I don't call them bad people for not going natural. We all have our opinions. Why is it not okay for me to share my opinion on something when it's okay for you to share yours? Just bugs.

Anyway, sorry for the stupid post. I just had to post it some where. Would you be bothered by this situation or am I just being dumb?

renee24's picture
Last seen: 1 year 9 months ago
Joined: 08/06/06
Posts: 1096

it would sure bother me. Im sorry they were so mean to you. Just another reason I stay out of topics that could be controversal, but you can't avoid them all and it can be more confusing when people change their mind.

gardenbug's picture
Last seen: 2 years 6 days ago
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

Frankly, my experience has been to stick to talk about the weather. There's no topic that doesn't create ill will for someone: religion, politics, sex, birthing, matrimony, raising and disciplining children - and the list goes on. Besides, few people care about your thoughts and are only interested in validation for what they believe. That's been true for my first 68 years anyway...

shiregirl's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 months ago
Joined: 09/23/10
Posts: 390

When I first got into natural birthing I was very talky about it too. But the last couple of years I have had the privilege to have some very wise friends, and have learned from them that sometimes less is more when it comes to sharing opinions, lol. I am very opinionated, and often feel I know what's best. But I am trying to develop the ability to listen more and talk less. For one thing, it wasn't anyone preaching to me about natural birthing that got me into it. Someone suggested it, and it sounded interesting, and I got a lot of books and started reading, and I got myself interested in it. I think that's how it works most of the time. For all the advice and opinions I have given to friends over the years, a very small percentage of that advice has been taken. I think people do what they want to do. And if they want your opinion they ask. Not that I don't talk about natural birthing at all, I do. But I talk about it in the context of myself, not what others are doing. Just something I have learned.

As for your specific situation, it does sound a bit confusing. Your friend seems maybe a bit insecure. Either she felt you wanted her to go natural, so she was trying to live up to something she thought you wanted, but never really envisioned for herself. Or maybe she's insecure about what actually happened in the birth, and feels like she failed, so she's trying to cover up those feelings by pretending things went her way. I dunno. I can see why you're kind of dumbfounded. I hope that you and she are able to just let it go and focus on the fun stuff with baby now, and continue on as friends!

Mom2ThreeKiddos's picture
Last seen: 4 years 5 months ago
Joined: 09/15/09
Posts: 1380

It doesn't sound like she is really that much of a friend really. I would ignore it. Obviously you know how she feels now. I wouldn't worry about it, but I know it is hard.