wwyd?

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lil96's picture
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wwyd?

i met a girl/woman./female, whatever you want to call her on sunday. she is due in 2 wks, well she is having her baby in 2 wks. i overheard her say "once a c/s always a c/s" when someone else asked her about birthing stuff. this is her 2nd baby, first is 18 months. where we live vbac is recommended, not the other way around, but she/we are americans and have heard that before.
but i didn't think that was the practie anymore.ithought, try vbac on 2, if it ends in c/s then #3 is c/s, but #2 isn't a given. does that make sense?
anyway, wwyd? would you mention to her, nearly a complete stranger, that she could have a vbac? stay out of it? maybe she just uses that as an excuse? ireally don't know her. and it is less than 2 wks before the baby comes, it is worht it?
i am in an awkward spot too bc i have had 2 c/s, (side note my dr said i could still vbac #3 if the ocassion arises), so would it be sort of crappy. even thoug i've had 2 c/s i still think ncb is better well maybe better isn't the best word, bc if something has to be done quickly c/s could be better? i just hate to hear someone ripping their stomach and uterus wen it doesn't need to happen.

jolly11sd's picture
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I don;t think it hurts to just mention it and put it out there with out too much opinion.

momW's picture
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I don't think it would be crappy if you just mention to her that isn't really true and that a VBAC is actually recommended for most women.

(I just had a VBA2C and recommend it to people and I always feel free to let people know that once a c/s always a c/s is an out of date thought when they try to tell me that)

Mom2ThreeKiddos's picture
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I would say something. Wink Good luck!

Spacers's picture
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I would say something, but I tend to be kind of a loud-mouthed busy-body when it comes to birth stuff anyway. Blum 3

lil96's picture
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how would i bring it up? i will probably only have facebook contact with her, i won't see her irl.

mujul79's picture
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AS if she has heard of ICAN and send her a link.

mommys's picture
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Honestly, I wouldn't say anything. I hate to be the only one against the idea, but I really don't think it would get the result you want. If you don't know here well, she is going to wonder why you are being pushy and nosey IMO.

About the only thing that wouldn't come accross as pushy would be to ask her if she had considered a VBAC because you are thinking that may be the way you want to go, etc. By asking her, you might find out more information about why she hasn't considered it - maybe her particular doctor discouraged it or maybe she just wants the simplified option of c/s rather than worry of VBAC. (I'm not supporting this, but it is a feeling I get a lot when talking to moms going for their second c/s.)

Goodness, I hope any of that made sense, I'm feeling a little distracted this morning with my thoughts.

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"mommys" wrote:

Honestly, I wouldn't say anything. I hate to be the only one against the idea, but I really don't think it would get the result you want. If you don't know here well, she is going to wonder why you are being pushy and nosey IMO.

About the only thing that wouldn't come accross as pushy would be to ask her if she had considered a VBAC because you are thinking that may be the way you want to go, etc. By asking her, you might find out more information about why she hasn't considered it - maybe her particular doctor discouraged it or maybe she just wants the simplified option of c/s rather than worry of VBAC. (I'm not supporting this, but it is a feeling I get a lot when talking to moms going for their second c/s.)

Goodness, I hope any of that made sense, I'm feeling a little distracted this morning with my thoughts.

I pretty much agree here. If I knew her even a little better I might bring it up. But she may have come to peace with her decision at this point, and if I didn't know her at all, I would probably just stay out of it. Keep in mind that you never know the circumstances of her previous c/s, and for her it may be once a c/s always a c/s, kwim? There may be a medical necessity, and it's just easier for her to say that than to get into all the details.

What I would do is probably open up a dialogue with her about her birth. Then you can find out a little more information and if the opportunity arises, you can throw the vbac idea out there. You could start out with something like, "I've had prior c/s too, if you need anything, let me know." or something along those lines.

momW's picture
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I do agree with Stephanie and Ariel that if you can approach it kind of from a side angle that might work better. You might just start asking her questions about this baby and you know how much most people love to tell their birth stories you could probably get her to talk about this new baby and her other baby and birth fairly easily. If she doesn't open up though I probably wouldn't push it considering you barely know her. If she does, then just take it one step at a time and maybe just play dumb and ask her if she's looking forward to having a VBAC and go from there.

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If the opportunity arrose & she seemed welcoming of idea's, sure I would mention it. Otherwise no, I wouldn't.

pico83 (not verified)

I'd totally mention it to a complete stranger. Even if it's kind of awkward, maybe you'll never see her again. :shrug: