~*~ Joan's (crazy j) Lodge ~*~

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eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440
~*~ Joan's (crazy j) Lodge ~*~

Joan welcome to your lodge!! I can't wait to follow the rest of your pregnancy. Hope you get the birth you want this time. You are getting so close!

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

Welcome to your lodge Joan! I am excited to follow your VBAC journey! It won't be long at all! Sending tons of ELV and successful VBAC vibes!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

Thanks for starting this! I really didn't realize how comforting have a lodge would be! I feel great having this supportive place to post and update. I think I post most of my story in my intro thread. I never typed a full birth story from my first. Partly because it was a planned c-section and partly because I suffered terribly from PPD with him.

I will say that I'm surprised at how relaxed and calm I am feeling about everything, especially considering this is my first labor. We'll be at the hospital and I'm bringing with me some pictures from our last trip to the beach, beach sounds for my iPod, a fan, and a cooling eye mask. My plan is to take myself away to this amazingly relaxing day we had a few months ago in Florida.

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

It's great you are feeling calm. I like the Florida idea! One of my relaxation exercises soundtracks has a beach guided meditation. Love it! What else are you doing to prepare?

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

That's great that you are feeling calm about it and I think the Florida idea sounds great!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

I don't really have a lot planned for the delivery. Besides the beach stuff, I'm bringing some sugary drinks (per my MWs request), and my ball to bounce on. I've got a small back massager, essential oils, and one of DS's old baby blankets that he used to cling to when he was little (which I feel a bit silly saying, but I know it'll calm me). Other than that, my biggest plan is just to stay calm and to keep an open mind. My goal here is to get her out the least complicated and safest way for the both of us, so I'm just doing to try and make the best choices at the time to make that happen.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

So are you working with a midwife at a hospital? Sounds like it's becoming a more and more popular option, in our area too. I'm so glad that hospitals are getting more on board with NCB.

Can't wait to hear about your VBAC!

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

Sounds like a plan Joan! I'm taking natural birthing classes but DH keeps telling me its pointless because I seem to know everything already. I think they are more for him ;). I'm a crazy googler. I've read up on every little thing possible. I'm sure since you are on preg.org you are probably know a lot anyway!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Hi, Joan! Nice to "meet" you. I look forward to hearing more about your VBAC journey, and I hope everything goes really well for you!

I agree that being overinformed and stubborn got me through more than just about anything else with my own NCB Wink Hope you're able to put yourself on that beach and relax away!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

I'm 39 weeks and 5 days. In a perfect world, I'll hit my due date on Saturday, my midwife returns on Sunday and I'll go into labor that week. (If DH got to choose, he'd LOVE it if she'd wait until after his test on Wed, lol). If only we could tell these babies when it was convenient for us, right? I had an appt yesterday and declined the check (mostly because I had DS with me). They scheduled me for a NST on Monday. I'll see my midwife then and probably let her check me. This is all new territory for me as by this time with DS, I already had him cut out of me.

Everyone's a little nervous about my going too far overdue because of my family history of very large babies. They're not necessarily using that to push me to do anything, it's more of a "let's keep this in mind" kind of thing as we make our decisions. We all understand that there's no saying I can't push out a large baby, but that's the thing ... we don't know. It's my first labor, my first attempt at delivery, and DS wasn't allowed to bake till he wanted to come out.

Hopefully she just comes on her own next week and I don't have to worry about making any decisions. BH contractions have been coming on like crazy lately and I feel a lot of pressure, so hopefully she's getting ready to come on out without any help. If my check shows good progress on Monday, I might try some nipple stimulation to see if that gets any contractions going!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

Oh, also, I don't think I mentioned that my GBS was positive ... not a huge deal to me, but just kinda one of those "one more inconvenience" things.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Boo about the GBS but yay for feeling pretty patient for now. Hope she comes on her own in the next few days for you!

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

It's great that you aren't in a hurry. Hopefully she comes on Thursday though Wink

You are so close!!

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

I hope she comes on her own as well. Don't worry too much about the growth thing - is your midwife a good judge of how big baby is? My midwife estimated my last baby at 8lbs when I was 40 weeks and she was 8lbs 2oz!
So glad you're going for a VBAC though I know it's scary because it's like a first baby in that you haven't ever gone through labor and vaginal delivery. Def KUP here though and please vent all you want about things!

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

Boo to the GBS. Glad you are feeling patient at this point! I hope that baby will decide to come on her own when you would like her to! KUP, I will be stalking you here!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

Today is 40 weeks! I'm having some signs of her coming soon, I think. I lost weight last week, she majorly dropped yesterday, and I had a ton of energy all day. Hopefully only a few more days for me. Also pretty sure my mucus plug has been coming out in bits over the last week.

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

Happy due date. Sounds like she might come soon. I know you're waiting for your midwife to come back and your husbands test, but I hope by the end of the week you are holding your little girl.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

Yay KUP! Isn't your midwife back today? Hubby's test is Wed? You might make it!!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Ooh! Happy due date...sounds like it won't be long now!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

My NST found my girl heads up today. She was taken via c-section at 6:29 this evening. Pain is under control and we're all doing well. I didn't get to try for my VBAC, but she's here and she's healthy and I'm over the moon!

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

Already said it in the April Board. But congrats! She is precious! Sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted, but things happen, and all that matters now is that she is here and healthy. I'm glad you are recovering well and are able to breastfeed!!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

I'm glad you're feeling healthy and positive and she's here! Enjoy that baby and post some pics when you can! Smile

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

Congratulations! So were you in labor when you went in? Hope DH was able to get his test done today!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

SUPER LONG BIRTH STORY AND THOUGHTS ON MY C-SECTION

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At 40 weeks 2 days, I went in for a NST @ 1130. My blood pressure was a little high, but no one seemed too concerned and no one said anything to me about it. Next was the ultrasound to check fluid. As usual, my most of Emma was on the left side of my belly making me look a bit lopsided. When the technician put the wand on the huge bulge on my left side (which we thought was her rear end), we saw Emma's head. My midwife thinks she turned last minute, but I think she was never heads down. The technician guessed they would try to turn her then break my water that day. Then I found out the only doctor in that day was the less VBAC friendly doctor in the office. He's willing to do them, but only under perfect conditions. I knew then my VBAC wasn't going to happen.

I got cleaned up and went for the NST. As I was sitting, hooked up to the machine, I was told that I would likely be scheduled for a c-section the next morning. Then my midwife came in and asked me what I had eaten that day because they wanted to do it that day at 4:30. I hadn't eaten much, so they told me to be at the hospital by 2pm. At this point, I really wanted to freak out, but I had an hour and a half to get home, try and explain things to my 4 year old, get my stuff, then get back to the hospital (20 min drive each way). I barely had time to process it. My mother in law drove me to the hospital while I called the world. My husband left school and met me there. They took me to pre-op, hooked me up to an IV, and then we waited. They ended up pushing me back to 6 because of a small snack I ate at 10am.

Finally, it was time. They sent my husband into the hallway to wait while they finished prepping me. I honestly can't remember what all they did because I was really starting to get nervous and upset at this point. They wheeled me into the OR then gave me my spinal block. I was terrified at this point and couldn't stop crying even though I'd done this all before and was fine with it. They got it in and laid me down and finally my husband could come in. My midwife came to assist with the surgery which made me very happy.

Next was the surgery. It is an indescribably weird feeling to feel the pressure of the baby and the pulling, but not much else. It seemed to be taking forever and I started feeling like something was sitting on my chest. I must have looked upset because the anesthesiologist told me my blood pressure was low, he was giving me something for it, and that I'd feel better in a minute. It worked, but then it happened again and I felt terrible and scared and had a panic attack. Once again, the doctor fixed it with medicine. According to my husband, he also gave me something to calm me down, but I don't remember that.

Finally, I felt the immense relief of pressure when my baby was out. She was born on April 8, 2013 @ 6:39 pm, weighing 7lbs. 7.7 oz., measuring 19.5 in. My midwife showed her to me and all of the anxiety was finally gone. They took her to do some newborn procedures while they stitched me up. She sounded like a feral cat the way she was screaming. The doctor kept talking about my unusually shaped bladder and some other interesting things about my anatomy which really pissed me off because the surgery was taking twice as long as my c-section with Carson.

I love my midwife because she hawked over my baby and got her back to me as soon as possible so I could breastfeed her during her initial alert period. The little girl latched on right away.

Post-birth and some afterthoughts:
Emma continued to do amazingly well. All of her health check-ups went great except for a little bit of jaundice. Everything about her was perfect and we were all in awe at how tiny she was, at least compared to Carson, who was 8lbs 11oz at birth. She looks so much like him as a baby too. Breastfeeding continued to go well and my little girl still loves to nurse.
Recovery was slow and painful. I had an epidural providing pain relief at first. The nurse gave me something else in my IV since I was still hurting so badly, but I didn’t feel any relief from it. It took until 11pm that night for the pain to feel manageable. They took the epidural out the next day and switched me to Percocet. I did ok on that, but if I took two and didn’t have enough food in my system, I got really sick and upset. The first day I had it, my lunch was an hour late and I was weeping and miserable. A few days after discharge, I had terrible headaches and backaches, including painful spasms, which I learned were likely caused by the epidural. Thankfully, I didn’t have the bleeding problems I had with my previous section, which really slowed that recovery.

I am not sad that this birth went the way it went. I have faith that everything works out the way it’s supposed to. It’s quite possible that baby girl was breech because a VBAC wasn’t the right thing for me this time. C-sections are no picnic, but they both resulted in the greatest joys of my life. I am sad and a bit angry that I will never get the chance to birth a child the traditional way, but there’s nothing that can be done about that now. I had a hard enough time finding a provider that was willing to allow me to try for a VBAC, I’ll never find anyone that would do a VBA2C. Besides, we are 99% sure we are done having children. At the end of the day, I am eternally grateful for two healthy, beautiful children.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

DP

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

Here's a few pics (resized ... but you know photobucket)

Her chewing on her hand ... she's CONSTANTLY rooting around for a breast, lol

She will only nap well like this!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Aw, beautiful baby! I'm sorry your birth experience ended up including so much stress and disappointment, but it sounds like you're processing it well and I'm glad you're feeling mostly positive about it in the balance. Hope your recovery goes smoothly from here, and you can enjoy that sweet squish!

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

Already commented in April, but wanted to post here again. Sorry you weren't able to have the birth you were hoping but I'm glad you and Emma are both doing well now and she is one beautiful little girl!

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

I'm so glad you've made your peace with everything. When things happen beyond your control, you just have to be okay with it. Love the pics!

gardenbug's picture
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

Lurking -
Sweet baby and lovely pictures!