~*~ Joy's (jolly11sd) Birth Lodge ~*~

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AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033
~*~ Joy's (jolly11sd) Birth Lodge ~*~

Hi, Joy! I know I'm a day early, but I'm so excited to be going through this journey with you again, and you've been such an amazing friend and support to me! I am absolutely thrilled to be able to start your lodge for you and be the frist to say, Welcome to your Birth Lodge!!!

:giveflower:

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Joy! Welcome to your lodge!

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

Welcome to your lodge Joy!!!

I canNOT wait to have a place to stalk, er, um, follow your journey!!!! Yahoo

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

YAY!!! I can't believe it's Joy turn now too! :party:

Joy, you have turned into a great friend even though I've never met you. You've offered me fantastic support as I've entered momhood and kept me entertained when I was bored in TX. Wink I'm so excited to be following your newest journey! Biggrin

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Welcome to your lodge Joy!!! :wootjump:

These last 8 months sure have flown by! It feels like just yesterday we were starting our lodges for Odin & Teagan and now Odin is going to be a big brother!! Eeeeep! I've cherished having your friendship these last few years and I can't wait to celebrate your new addition with you.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Awww, thanks ladies. Seriously can't believe its lodge time already! How did this happen and didn't I just do this? Still totally in denial that there will indeed be a baby coming soon. Seems like its so far off still when in reality its just around the corner. Ahhh! Its all going to work out fine, just seems like a daunting task at the moment.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

Welcome to your lodge Joy. I love lodges, so easy to stalk. I can't believe you are almost there and can't wait to see who has been baking away in there. I'll echo what the previous people have said in regards to you being a great support and friend since we all started out back in January/ Feburay 2010 waiting for our October 2010 bubbas

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

Welcome to your lodge, Joy! I can't believe the time is here already! It's going to be so fun to stalk, er, follow another Oct 2010 mama!

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Welcome to your lodge, Joy! I look forward to reading your intro, getting to know you better (you're obviously very likable! Wink ), and following your story!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327
Intro: Before Babies

So I'm cutting and pasting some from my intro and birth stories in my last lodge. Oh, if there were just more hours in each day for me to get everything done! I'm sure everyone knows how that is.

So I'm Joy (33) and DH is Wally or Walter (35). We met in 1999 while attending Chico State in CA. Fall semester we had a water polo class together and both played on a club team. I didn't even know who he was for weeks but he had an idea about who I was. I was dating a guy form the Rugby team at the time and also pledging a sorority and really just didn't notice all that was going on around me. About 6 months into the semester we had a carwash for our sorority and Wally brought his friend's truck to be washed, and then another friend's car, and that was probably the 1st time I really noticed him. A friend of mine at the time couldn't believe I didn't know who he was since we'd all been in the same class for weeks and laughed when I asked her who the cute guy was. A few more weeks followed without me giving him too much thought other than him saying hello when we passed on campus and me admiring how cute he was at those moments. As all things go when your barely 20 my BF and I at the time broke up just days before my sorority formal and as a pledge I had to bring a date to this event that I had already paid for and all. So of course I had a friend go scout out if the cute guy from water polo class was single or not before I asked him to my formal last minute. My friend reported back that he was single but that he was very liked by all the ladies and they had all told me to “take a number”. LOL. Of course that didn't stop me for some reason, I really just needed a date to the dance. The next day I decorated his apartment door with balloons and a big sign asking him to the formal. He called back later and said yes and we've been together ever since. I remember coming home from that dance that night and telling my roommates at the time that I was going to marry this guy. They of course all laughed and thought I was crazy but somehow I knew. It really was fate that brought us to the same place at the same time as I had only gone to that college for a year after struggling to earn money to go since my parents thought that college was a waste of time and refused to fund it. Even after getting a partial scholarship to USD the right out of high school. And he had been going to USD for a while but had transferred to Chico that semester to help out his brother whom struggles with a neurological disorder that progressively gets worse as he gets older.

Younger us. During our 1st year of dating at some Greek event. Not the best pic but I lack digital pics from that time in our lives...lol

Anyway we dated all those years. Even a year apart, with me finishing up in Chico and him going back to San Diego to start his career in business. Once I graduated I packed up and moved in with his family in Coronado until I started work (web design) and got a place of my own. Things of course change fast and 6 months later I went back to school to get my teaching credential and he found more stable work becoming a commercial electrician, so not where we saw ourselves going. In 2003 we got engaged. He proposed during a gondola ride around a part of Coronado called the Cays. With champagne, chocolate dipped strawberries, gondola guy singing, and followed by an awesome dinner at Lowes resort in Coronado. Even after nearly 5 years together was cute to see him so nervous and the proposal was perfect. We got married a year later on June 5, 2004 in Coronado. Big Catholic wedding with a full mass and we had our reception beach front at a cabana right next to the Hotel Del Coronado. It was beautiful. It is funny now to look back at the past 13 years and see how much we have both changed but how well we have grown together. I'll have to talk more about having babies next time!

Pic of our wedding in the church

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327
Baby #1 Comes Along

This is long....

So after we got married we both agreed that we wanted to wait 2 years before TTC. We wanted to travel some, buy a house, and get more secure in our jobs. I switched school districts a few months after our wedding and had a lapse in my health insurance. So for about 2 weeks we were without BC but decided we knew how to be careful and I figured that would be easy since I normally had really long cycles without the pill. We were so careful but so wrong. I got a BFP about 4 months after our wedding. Both of us really wanted to have kids but like I said we wanted to wait 2 years. I was so nervous but happy. When I told DH he cried and was so upset and stressed about it for a while. It was such a horrible reaction for him to have at the time and I felt like he blamed me for changing our future so much. I think it just really hit him that not only did he have to be a grown man for real but was going to be responsible for a wife and a child, it was a lot for him to take in all at once. After all the initial shock and stress wore off for both of us we got to enjoy the pregnancy. Everything went pretty smooth, just the normal stuff like morning sickness and all. I knew that I wanted to have a natural birth and choose to see a Nurse Midwife that my hospital/provider had on staff. I figured that was all I had to do. Heck I had read "The Red Tent"? a few years back and I just planned on squatting and having the baby like they described, no problem. I didn't ever really read up on childbirth and only attended the biased class that the hospital provided. I think I even skipped the c/s and medication info day because I just knew I wasn't going to use them so why should I know about them. If I could go back in time I would defiantly kick myself! I think I read every book about what to do after baby came but nothing about actually having a baby.

At 38 weeks my MW stripped my membranes and I remember thinking that it was time to get baby out and that 40 weeks was like my deadline and I better get done before I got to that point. So like the MW said starting around 37 weeks we DTD every day, I walked like 1000 miles, took tons of EPO, had a reflexology session, and the day after she stripped me took 2 doses of castor oil. What was my hurry??? 38 week 4 days I had SROM as I went to lie down on the carpet after walking another 1000 miles. I remember hearing the "pop" and then running to the bathroom because heck if I was going to ruin the carpet in our rental apartment...lol. Poor Dh had just gotten home from work and was taking a nap so I took an hour to clean up and get the massive leaking water under control before I woke him and we left. I had never had a BH during the entire pregnancy and still wasn't having any contractions but the MW had mentioned going to L&D ASAP if this happened. And since I hadn't educated myself too much I thought that maybe baby would be coming really fast. I mean didn't your water break right before baby came out? This is where the downhill spiral began, but off we went.

I got checked in and was only like a 1-2 with no contractions. Even though I wasn't in labor they said I couldn't go home or leave since my waters had broken. They sent us to walk the halls for 30min to see if that started anything and them come back to be monitored. Our MW checked in with us at this time and announced that she was off shift but would be back in 3 days to see how we did if we were still there. WTF??? I thought she was going to be there the whole time. She said there was some great OB's and nurses on staff and that I would be in good hands. I was floored. Had not seen that coming and had totally been under the wrong impression when I had chosen to use a MW through our provider. Anyway, once back and all hooked up (wait no one said I had to have an IV put in? I hate needles. Why do I need this?) I still wasn't contracting so they told me I needed Pitocin. They told me that would start the contractions and then we could go from there. Ok. I thought I would be able to get out of bed, walk around, change positions, go to the bathroom, but apparently I was really wrong. They gave me more and more pit as time went on, them some pain stuff, and eventually an epi when I was at the max amount of pit that they could give me. It was torture and 24 hours after we had arrived I had only gotten to a 3-4 with baby not even engaged. I was so miserable, tired since I hadn't slept in almost 2 days, and starving since the last meal I had eaten had been lunch the previous day. We had seen so many doctors and nurses that I couldn't keep who everyone was straight. Wally was miserable because he doesn't feel comfortable in the hospital and couldn't do anything to help me. I was never able to relax with all these people coming and going my anxiety level was through the roof. Another doctor came in at the end and asked us to sign some papers for our c/s. C-section?? No one had even said that was what was going to happen next. She assumed someone had mentioned it and threw in that after 24 hours there would be infection and my baby would be really sick. I begged for an hour while in tears and luckily she left us alone. I prayed my body would do something magical or that DH would pick me up and get me out of there. Instead I sat there for an hour sobbing while DH with no fight left in him told me it would all be ok. An hour later they came in and got me all prepared and wheeled off to surgery. I was so pissed. DS1, Ryland Connor, was born 20 min. later (26 hours after my water broke at home) on Aug. 5, 2005. He was 8lbs 14oz and healthy. I never got to see or touch him after he was out. I don't even remember hearing him. DH has pics of him and one of him being held up next to me but they had all but knocked me out at that point. I woke in recovery a while later and was told both DH and DS were in the nursery. I met DH in my recovery room later that afternoon and didn't get to see my son until 8 hours after the birth. We were told that he had to be in the nursery for this and that, then shift change for the nurses, ect. DH even went to the nursery to get him but they wouldn't let the baby out. I remember asking DH to make sure we had the right baby once we got him since I hadn't yet met him. We had to share a room with another woman whose baby never cried while our son screamed all the time. I got really sick the 1st night (nurse gave me oral meds that made me vomit which is very painful) and had trouble with some side effects of the morphine so they took DS away again since I could care for him. We had loads of trouble nursing and the staff didn't seem to help or care, they kept pushing formula. The lactation consultant we requested never came to visit during our 4 day stay. The whole hospital experience was a nightmare.

Wally & Ryland on his day of birth. And Ryland 6 weeks old.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

that is still one of the saddest stories about giving birth Joy!

But can I just say (again) that your DH is super cute Smile and of course Ryland is such a doll (and still is)!!!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327
Baby #2

After DS1's birth I lost my teaching due to budget cuts and was out of work for 2 years. As much as we wanted to TTC again it wasn't the right time money wise. DH really wanted to save for a home and the idea of adding on to our family was overwhelming to him. After DS turned 2 we moved from San Diego to Northern CA where I got a teaching job within a few days. We saved up and in Oct. 2009 bought our 1st house. It was really hard waiting 4+ years to have baby #2 but the wait was so worth it. I learned a lot more about childbirth and what I want for myself since having DS1. Pregnancy #2 was planned and welcomed with open arms (no sad tears, only tears of joy) from the beginning. After feeling so misinformed and mistreated during our first birth experience, Dh and I were both excited to be having a homebirth and being more in control and more relaxed.

My 2nd pregnancy was so different than with DS1. I had much worse m/s and my heartburn raged. Also I was more tired and had loads of aches, pains, BHs, and the such. Overall the entire pregnancy went fast though and I carried DS2 until 40 weeks exactly.

Here is Odin's birth Story....
Odin Emmett (Polish Last Name Here)
October 18th, 2010 2:15pm
9lbs 2oz
Labor was 40(ish) hours

Thought I might be going into labor before the weekend started. Some random contractions here and there but more because I was so focused on getting everything in order. Drinks chilled in the fridge for MW and assistant, olive oil and cookie sheet upstairs in birth area, ect. That was Friday night Oct. 15, also went to go see a movie by myself that night. Had some reg. contractions throughout the movie but didn't really pay attention to them.
40 week belly, during labor

Saturday I went to a baby consignment event and got a ton of great things for only $30. Again, really needed to get out of the house by myself and get a few last minute things. Was having contractions all day here and there. Some of the consistent ones were 10-15min apart but again I didn't really think much of it. Met DH and DS on my way home to get some last minute things at Costco and Lowes and ate Hawaiian BBQ for lunch, yum! We didn't get home until about 3pm but I was still able to get in a nice 2 hour nap. After naps felt like DH and I needed to do something special with Ryland so we took him to see a movie (something with owls). We never let him watch TV or anything so he was beyond thrilled. Contractions were about 10 min. apart during the movie but I was still thinking nothing of it. Too bad popcorn and apple juice was my dinner that night since I was still full from lunch. We went to bed about 10pm and I just could not settle down, contractions kept coming. I let DH pass out and tried to use my hypnobabies tracks to fall asleep. After about 2 tracks I realized it wasn't going to happen. Got up and swept the downstairs as well as scrubbed out the kitchen sink, thank you OCD! Still couldn't sleep and I knew contractions were coming closer so I started timing them for real about midnight. They went were a lot closer than I gave them credit for at about 5 min. apart. That's when I knew this might be for real. By 4am I woke up DH to let him know that this was probably going to be it. Normally he gets up for work at that time so he got a full night sleep, gosh I wish I had been able to also. By 4am contractions were 2-3min. apart so we waited 30min and then called the MW. I felt so bad calling early like that but this was like the first time I'd been in labor so I didn't know how fast/slow things would go and 2-3min apart lasting 1min each seemed like more than adequate. I knew they would have a 1-1.5 hour drive to get here so I didn't want to chance it. MWs arrived by 6pm and there was no denying that I was in active labor. Should point out that my MW was still out of town so we had her back up whom I ended up loving even more! We have a lot in common and even homeschool(ed) our child(ren) using the same type of curriculum. The MW in training that I usually see was there as well, a familiar face.
I had made it clear that I didn't want to be checked (didn't want to be disappointed by lack of progress like DS1's birth) so I don't really have too many times and cm dilated to go on. I asked them to take notes in case I wanted to know later so thats all I have to go on. I labored upstairs in our large walk-in bathroom and master bedroom. In the beginning I liked being on all 4's using the birth ball for support. I was totally able to relax through things using all my hypnobabies techniques. Also moved around to sit on the birth ball with my head on the bathroom vanity, another nice position at times. I pretty much did most of the laboring Saturday morning/afternoon alone while relaxing into various positions. I will say that it was active labor the entire time MWs were there and I had to vocalize through it using deep O tones. DH took care of Ryland downstairs while making sure all the ladies upstairs had everything needed and the MWs monitored and hung out in the den right outside our master bedroom. Sometime around 4pm I decided that I wanted MW’s to check me but not tell me the progress. I was getting kind of tired at this point and I think that I just wanted the option of knowing that something was happening even though I didn't really want numbers. They did their check and then told me that they were going to go out and explore town for an hour while I relaxed. That didn't discourage me but it did signal to me that I had some time to go and that I need to pace myself. (Turns out I was a 5! Already 1-2cm more than I'd ever gone before!)I relaxed in the shower for a while and continued with my birth ball positions. When they got back MW gave me some homeopathic stuff that picked up strength of the contractions. I got in the bath for a while and that felt really nice. This continued on for hours. I worked that birth ball really hard I think because I have something similar to rug burn on my chin and left cheek, ouch!

Wally put Ryland to bed around 8pm and I was getting pretty burnt out. I asked to be checked again. Things had been so active in labor and intense during this whole time that I figured stuff must be happening. The MW was great at describing how things felt without telling me a #. (I was a 6 with bulging bag at this point) After phone conferencing with my reg. MW she made the suggestion that she could break my water if I wanted to see if things progressed more. LO was still really high and that bag of water was keeping him from putting too much pressure on my cervix. I was getting so tired at this point and it was nearing 24 hours of labor, and eternity since I slept last. We weighed our options for about 3 hours and decided to have her break the bag. Nice clear liquid, man it was a little painful though, and contractions went from intense to very very intense and longer. It was at this point that it was getting harder for me stay balanced through them and exhaustion was taking its toll. More hours went on and I wanted another check because I really could take it much more. I also told her to tell me the number and all. I was a 7 and the baby had engaged and was descending (can't remember station) but more progress in those few hours than a good portion of the day. Encouraging so I struggled through a few more hours determined to do it. I hit a wall about some point and nothing worked, ball, bath, moving, lying, ect. We all had sat for an hour or so in some random position while taking turns putting massive pressure on my lower back, the only things that made the end of each contraction bearable. Everyone was exhausted. I finally had enough and at 3pm, after much thought and heartache, I made the choice to transfer to a VBAC friendly hospital 30min. away. I knew that I wanted to have a natural birth so bad, but there is a time a place for everything, and this was the time for some rest if I was going to get my VBAC and I knew an epidural would help with that.

We got to the hospital by 4am and it took 1.5 flipping hours to get that epidural. They had to run a blood panel that I didn't have since I hadn't seem an OB and required I have a bag of fluid before getting the epi. I was ok playing by the rules for that as long as I got that rest. The bag of fluid was evil and made the contractions 1000 xs stronger and longer while I waited for my blood panel. Seriously, I think they wanted to muzzle me because I was so darn loud and vocal, beyond the point of being able to manage my own pain. I felt out of control. Turns out baby had turned posterior at some point during labor so things kicked up a notch on the pain scale. Nurse also noticed some merconium in the fluid I had, something that had not been present when my water was broken. Once I got the epidural it was like night and day. I passed out a few minutes later and got about 4 hours sleep despite being poked around at by the nurses. Wally and our MW got some much needed sleep as well. The MW student was such a blessing and stayed at our house with Ryland so we didn't have to wake him or find someone to care for him. During sleep baby descended and I went from a 7 to a loose 9. By 10am I was complete and got a coached lesson in pushing from the MW and nurse. That 1st hour was just a practice to see what would happen. The 3 hours following were in earnest. I got on hands and knees for 1 hour but my back hurt so bad that I could bear it. The last 2 hours I was in some odd side position that had me on 1 leg and 1 foot for better traction. The back labor was so painful and intense that this was the only was bearable position. At the very end I ended up on my back somehow even though all I could think about was getting on my hands and knees. I kept my eyes closed for most of the pushing as it helped me focus more. Wally and the MWs were right there alongside me holding parts of me and helping find where to push. I had the epidural turned off during all the pushing but it took a while for things to be not so numb. My husband was the best because he supported my head and one leg and used all this strength to push right along with me. I don't even know how to express how much that helped me feel powerful; I knew he would stand in my shoes if he could have at that moment and take all the pain and exhaustion away.

Warning...sad from this point on..

The last 30 min. were probably the most intense though my memory of them is foggy since I was so inside myself with eyes closed. The doctor did a scan and discovered baby was posterior. There was some internal maneuvering around even though baby was turning nicely on his own. I was given a numbing agent on my lady parts and heard talk of cutting though I'm pretty sure I growled out 'let me rip'. Baby crowned for a long time. Contractions were very close but they were patterned one big one small and I pushed mainly on the big ones while resting on the small ones. I remember commenting, "this is the worst poop ever". Nice. Then, finally his head was out and soon panic hit the room. I remember opening my eyes for a second to see why everyone was so crazy and realized my room of 5 people had turned into a room of 30 some people so I closed my eyes again and retreated back in. After the head the rest of the body seems like it was stuck and wouldn't deliver. The doctor must have thought that the cord was holding him back (looped around his shoulders but not tight) and tried to get it over his head with no luck. So he cut it. It took 4 more minutes for the Odin's shoulders to come out and then the rest of his body. The doctor was pulling. Seemed like 4 nurses pushing and pounding on my stomach and pelvis, someone was even on the bed pushing on me. Two people on either side were ripping my legs apart in what felt like the splits. People were yelling at me to push, and I was pushing with everything I had, but there wasn't a contraction and it was like pushing with no force. Once that contraction hit though he was out despite all the crazy stuff they were doing to me. For some reason they slid him on my chest for a split second, just long enough for me to feel his warmth. And then they took him away without a cry and without life in him. I remember that I kept talking to him even though I could barely see what was going on with the crowd of doctors and nurses around him. He had a heart beat but wasn't breathing and had been delivered 4 minutes after his cord was cut. They had a bag they were using to get him to breathe and kept shoving tubes down his throat to suck out merconium that wasn't there. He was just laying there and not moving. His apagars during the time in my room were 2, then 4, and finally 6 before they took him off to the NICU. I got to hear 2 tiny cries and touch his head as they took him away.

1-2 hours old

I didn't even know they delivered my placenta and the doctor was very gentle stitching up my 2nd degree tear. Hurt worse when they pushed on and massaged my uterus. Gauze was missing from the clean up count so I had to have an x-ray right after to make sure it wasn't left inside me. Ack, luckily all clear though they never did find that gauze pad. I thought that I would feel amazing and high after having my VBAC, but honestly I felt really numb after and couldn't processes any emotion. I was so drained. I had 2 visits from the head of the NICU while still in my labor room and getting cleaned up. The first visit was to let me know about the concern over lack of oxygen for so long and worry of infection, his temp was currently 104. The second visit was to encourage me to let them transfer him to the Intensive Care Nursery at UCSF medical center over 2 hours away for immediate treatment. Wally had gone to get Ryland at this point so I signed the release on my own and filled him in over the phone.

The nurse wheeled me to my post-par. Room, which was going to be shared with another mommy just coming from her c/s. I wasn't thrilled about sharing a room. The nurse had to use a catheter on me since my bladder was preventing my uterus from going down and seriously took out more pee than I think your body should ever hold. A few minutes later I had people come in to have me sign papers for Odin's transfer by helicopter. I was then taken to the NICU to have Odin baptized before his flight and see him up close for the 1st time. Poor guy was hooked up to all sorts of stuff and all I could do was hold his little hand. UCSF team came very soon after (they had to get him hooked up to his treatment with the 1st 6 hours of life) had me sign more papers, put him in a travel incubator thing, and off they went. Wally and Ryland got there just as they were loading up so Ryland got to see the baby for 2 min. and Wally got to say good-bye. It was heartbreaking. We went back to my room to find that they had changed my room to a private room. The nurse had found me a pump and stocked my room with loads of juice, snacks, and extra pillows. Wally and Ryland went home later that night to sleep and I finally got some much needed rest. I was so thankful for that private room because the hormones hit finally and I lost it listening to other babies crying down the hall. I can't imagine how it would have felt rooming in with another mommy and her baby. I just remember feeling that is was so unfair and that I was the only new mom there without a baby. I got discharged at 2pm the next day, even though they suggested I stay another day, and we drove the 2+ hours to be with Odin in SF that evening.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

:bighug:

I'm so sorry your first two births were sad for you. This one *will* be better!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327
Then and Now

So to sum up our 2nd birth. We ended up staying in the ICN (same as NICU) for 1 week before Odin was discharged to go home. At birth they thought that he may have brain damage from lack of oxygen (due to cord being cut before he was delivered) and therefore was put on a cooling treatment to help his brain heal. He had to be sedated for 5 days, have a couple of MRIs, and got tons of antibiotics for some mystery infection that they never cuold find. He was really slow to gain weight during his first few months but other than that has been the picture of health. This little guy totally blows me away each day and continues to meet and exceed each milestone. Its awesome to be were we are now compared to where we were 17 months ago.

Some pics:
Hooked up to his cooling machine and getting his brain waves monitored. He was sooo drugged and pretty out of it.

The first time we got to hold Odin ever at 5 days old Sad It was such an amazing and sad moment all at once.

And now being his amazing self!

This is what I have written at the end of my birth story with DS2:

Last week I spent a lot of time 2nd guessing my choice for a VBAC. Would all this have been prevented if I had just had another c/s? Had wanting this so bad been totally selfish and actually ended up hurting the baby? This week I've come to terms a little better since things have calmed down. I am happy that I got my VBAC. My body knew what to do and did it. I gave birth to a 9lb baby on my own and proved all the doctors who told me I was too small for anything over 5-6lbs wrong! I'm still really scared of getting pregnant again though and beyond scared of birth itself (vag. Or c/s) at this point it time. We really wanted to plan for baby #2 and #3 close together but I may need a lot more time to heal before we go there. Wally is a mess too. Not only from all the emotional stuff we have just been through, and the fear of giving birth to another baby, but also the financial impact of this whole ordeal has him on edge. The cost alone of all the NICU stay, and life flight, will probably be more than our house is worth even after insurance picks up their end. And the $4500 home birth we payed for out of pocket won't be reimbursed now. I think he has the weight of the world on his shoulders right now and I feel for him.

Makes me sad reading that now. I forget so soon what an ordeal the whole event was. I feel so much better about the prospect of birth and having another VBAC. Its amazing how time can heal such painful moments. So we indeed decided to go for baby #3 close to baby #2. AF come back around 8 months PP and I got preg. during my 2nd (totally crazy and off) cycle while still nursing. Currently still nursing too Smile . I'm totally excited about having the 2 little ones close together but also in touch with the whole massive reality of it... eek! I wouldn't turn down a VBAC again for the world. I did it, even if it ended a little off, I did it and it was empowering and great. What happened last time likely will never happen again and I feel calm and confident about the entire thing. DH is a little more guarded, poor guy still has been through so much, but trusts me enough to be supportive.

This pregnancy has been awesome and different. No sickness this time, tons of energy for the most time (just now slowing down and tired), and way less BH and general pains. Totally helps seeing a Chrio this time and I wish I would have done that in the past. We didn't find out the gender for #3, like the other 2, and I am so excited to find out what our little suprise is. As much as I want to try for another HB it just isn't in the cards this time. We have decided to go with a hospital run type of birth center (not super birthcerter-y but totally not the normal L&D) that looks like a great fit. While they refuse to let me us a MW (lame) I'm starting to get to know my OB and she seems pretty awesome and supportive. I kinda have a mistrust with OBs (can you imagine why?) so I don't think I'll ever be a 100% with anyone I choose. Overall though, this should be a great experience!

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

Oh Joy, reading Odin's birth story just makes me feel all the pain and anxiety from it all over again. I can't imagine what it was like being you and DH, I know how much anxiety I had for you. And it's been such a blessing to get to see him develop completely on pace and seeing him grow into such an adorable and intelligent toddler!!! I'm still so happy I've gotten the chance to get to know you over the last two years.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

"momW" wrote:

Oh Joy, reading Odin's birth story just makes me feel all the pain and anxiety from it all over again. I can't imagine what it was like being you and DH, I know how much anxiety I had for you. And it's been such a blessing to get to see him develop completely on pace and seeing him grow into such an adorable and intelligent toddler!!! I'm still so happy I've gotten the chance to get to know you over the last two years.

This, exactly. I'm so excited for you to finally get a good birth experience with #3!

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Wow. Reading that again took me right back to October and how scary that all was at the end. I remember that I admired you so much for your strength and devotion (especially since I had JUST gone through a c/s) and you inspired me. I knew even during my c/s that I would try for a VBAC with a second baby and you proved to me immediately that it was indeed possible. You can never predict what will happen during the birthing, but I have complete faith that this birth will be another completely different birth and will be the best one yet!

I am so happy that I get to go through this journey with you again and that I have you to lean on and support me with my VBAC. I know that you know exactly what this means to me and even more you know what it takes to get there and do it. Joy, you have been such an amazing source of strength and support for my VBAc plans, and then through the hardest time of my life to date. No words could ever thank you enough for all you have done for me! I don't mean to get all mushy on you here, but I mean every word.

Odin is an incredible little boy and you have done such an incredible job with him despite the rough beginning you had. I will pray that this birth will be the ideal birth we all dream of.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Gosh reading that takes me back. I remember being so proud and happy for you for having your VBAC yet heartbroken and terrified over the last few minutes of Odin's birth and throughout the week that followed. I cried all over again seeing the pics of you and your (quite handsome) DH holding Odin for the first time. What a difference 17 months make! Odin is such a perfect little man and he's going to be a great big brother. You amaze me and inspire me. This birth *has* to be and *will* be different. I can't wait to meet your little surprise!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Awww, thanks for all the kind works. Of course you get me all teary eyed here. I know too that this birth *will* be different. And I also really hope that this is a positive and healing experience for my DH. I think its harder for him than it is for me but in a different way if that makes sense.

Belly pic day for me yesterday. Here is 34 weeks and yesterday at 36 weeks.

Belly is the same. But the big question is, can you see the difference in the length of my hair? I totally cut a ton off on Sunday! I wish I had taken a pic of just the back before I got it cut but I totally forgot to. The longest part used to be past my waist and to my bottom. Now the longest part is about boob length. Its still long but way shorter for me. Oh, wait, here is a front view from late Nov. or early Dec. it was just a tad longer than that before I cut it.


Now its a little ways above my DS1's head!

Got my results this week from the GBS swab and all is negative. Yay! Weekend goal is to pre-register at the hospital and dig out my tub wear and birthing clothes stuff and get it in a bag. Also need to see if there is a water proof case for those tiny iPods (nano?). I'd like to find not only a water proof one but also something that has an arm band since I won't really have pockets for it when I'm in the tub. If not I'll just use my portable speakers and hope there is a least 1 outlet in near the tub.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Yay belly! Your bump is so perfect and round. Woot for a haircut! How many inches did you cut off? It looks great! Also woohoo for a negative GBS test! What's your birth center-ish hospital's policy on water birth? Will they "let" you labor in the tub if your water has broken? Will they "let" you birth in the tub?

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

I can see the difference in your hair. I was wondering if we were going to get a picture of the new cut. Loving the belly pictures, you look ADORABLE, as always Smile

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

"momW" wrote:

I can see the difference in your hair. I was wondering if we were going to get a picture of the new cut. Loving the belly pictures, you look ADORABLE, as always Smile

Agreed--the haircut is nice, and the belly is adorable and perfect Smile As for your music: I bought an iPod dock at OfficeMax for $20 that was plenty loud and easy to bring to the birth center.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

YAY for being GBS negative! Biggrin And I can definitely tell a difference in your hair! Do you know how much was cut off?

Joy, even though I knew your birth stories it was fascinating to read them again. Suddenly all those old posts came rushing back too from you telling us about your VBAC, but it ending with him in the NICU. ((hugs)) I'm praying this birth will be vastly different and healing for you both.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I do have a docking station that I can play my iPod off of currently so I'm thinking that will be what I bring either way so I have the option. Poor DH just might fall asleep with it playing out loud though as he goes under faster than I do when I play it out loud. Biggrin

I don't know exactly how much got cut off in the end but it was between 8-10 inches. Unfortunatly there were too many split ends and uneven lengths so salvage enough to send off to donate. I was pretty bummed but know now that if I do a little more regular trimming that I should be good to donate the next time. Probably should get my hair cut more than every 1.5 years as a rule anyway.

"TiggersMommy" wrote:

What's your birth center-ish hospital's policy on water birth? Will they "let" you labor in the tub if your water has broken? Will they "let" you birth in the tub?

So they have 4 jacuzzi tub suits and 1 extra jacuzzi tub (in its own bathroom) that is shared with the other 8 suits. I was told that there never is a problem getting in a tub room if you want one but that extra tub is there JIC. They will let you labor in the tub, even after your water has broken so that is good. They said though that they do not allow anyone to give birth in the tub. Boo. However, I'm not one of those people that plays 100% by the rules and would seriously really really really like to have this baby in the water. So we will see what 'really happens' as opposed to what the 'rules' say. I'm not opposed to accidently pushing out and catching baby without hospital staff in the room if all is going well. I just need to have great hands off nurses that stay out of my hair (room) for long periods of time and to look like I'm not in the middle of popping out a LO if they do check on me. I'm sure that will be easier imagined than actually done. That would be the ideal situation for me even if it is a little out there to some.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Joy- Thanks for sharing your birth stories. I hadn't read them before, and they were indeed quite moving. Like everyone else said, I hope that this third birth will be a healing one for both you and your husband.

When I delivered my first, it was at a hospital with laboring tubs as well... my midwife said that technically I was allowed to birth in the tub, but, sometimes things just happen. Smile Maybe you'll be one of those stories. Smile

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

My hair was quite split and uneven but since I chopped 13 inches there was quite a bit of it. Locks of Love's website says it can be uneven. They also said that they often sell some of the hair they can't use to help pay for the costs of making the wigs. So, for instance, while they don't make gray wigs for kids they can sell donated gray hair. Now that my hair is short, I'm kinda locked into regular hair cuts. That was part of my evil plan. Oh, darn. I guess I'll just have to go to the salon for a mom's day off every 2 months. Wink

That's SO awesome that they're comfortable with you laboring in the tub with ruptured membranes. So many hospitals aren't. My backup transfer hospital wasn't. Water was an essential part in Teagan's birth and I would have been really disappointed if I hadn't had access to a tub. Still, I know that lots of women (even women who've had water births previously) either don't like the water at all or prefer to get out to push. I know with T's birth there was no hiding the fact that I was about to pop her out. However, there was also NO moving me. It would have taken them calling 4 orderlies to get me out of that tub. Smile I hope you can sneak a water birth if that's what you want at the end!

Joined: 05/31/08
Posts: 1131

Wow, a couple of very intense birth stories you have, and kudos to you for having confidence and being so positive this time around! I bet the third time will be the charm, as they say.
At the place my DS was born, they had jacuzzi tubs you could labor but not birth in, but they let you bring in your own birth tub if you wanted. Maybe your place would let you do that? We actually had it lined up to have one (there was a company locally that would come in and set it up for you at the hospital) but DS came too fast, we didn't have time. Luckily we realized we didn't have time BEFORE they brought it in and started filling it. I remember I was 10 cm and one of the nurses was like "should we call the waterbirth place?" I think I might have yelled "there's no time for that!" at her.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Maggie, that is really cool they let you bring one in! I acutally just read about that online last night when I was trying to find some info. The company said they would even contact the hospital for the client and try to see if policy could be changed in the event it was as a no. Very cool. I think I'll totally check that out because that would be awesome! If not then its still plan 'A' with my undercover water birth...lol.

I need to slow down but my NEED to get some stuff done is in over drive right now. I got a nice nap in yesterday but have been non-stop today and started paying for it more this afternoon. It was a little hard to get through the grocery store even. This baby is so far down there its crazy. Mentally I'm no where near ready for him/her to come out so I'm positive that LO will hang tight for a few more weeks.

Either way we got a ton of stuff done around the house and now I'm trying to focus on writing a business plan and proposal to the county planning commission. I found the perfect place to move my preschool to but the county is kinda fuzzy on what they will and will not let the property be used for. For anyone that doesn't know, I run a preschool out of my home which I would totally like to move and expand for both my own sanity (and family) and growth. So I have to make up this proposition for their meeting on April 18th which is also my EDD. I don't know if they will just use the proposal I write or if I have to actually be there in person but I'm hoping its just the proposal. I'll either be super preg. or very newly PP with leaky boobs and either way doesn't sound too inviting for having to give a presentation. Fingers crossed that we get a permit to use the building through cause the company that owns it is 100% willing to long term lease it to me for an excellent price. If all goes well I should be up and running it by summer! Fingers crossed for this! Yeah, all the big things in my life seem to happen all at the same time...lol...never a moment of down time.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Joy, I hope the county accepts your proposal! That would be a fantastic move for your preschool and your family. Smile

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I'd tell you to slow down but I know it wouldn't do any good. Wink Nesting is in full force! I hope the county takes your proposal! How much larger would this make your preschool?

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Wow, how exciting about your business proposal! Too bad it couldn't happen at a slightly more opportune time, but that's how things seem to work for me all the time too. I hope it goes well, and you'll definitely have to KUP on that one.

That'll be great if you can 'accidentally' have the underwater birth in the tub!! If the baby is coming fast you may not not have time to get out of the tub before the actual birth. :bigwink: I like the way you think!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Erin, I could go from having 14 kids (currently) to about 45 kids at the new center! I've got to check measurements again but from what we can tell its at least 45, if not a few more. That would triple what we are doing now even though it would require way more manpower than.

Yep, totally nesting, finally. Got my bag packed tonight even! LOL, that was after I vaccumed and scrubbed the baseboards upstairs. Because that totally needs to get done right now :rolleyes: (I dislike the new eye roll smile)

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Use this eyeroll smilie :*roll: (of course without the astrick).

I've been extra busy for the past week or so now, trying to get last minute things done and I keep thinking of more that needs to be done now, before Kole gets here.

How great that you would get to expand your preschool that much!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Wow, that's a huge expansion! Sounds like it'll be quite a bit of work but totally worth it.
And yeah, I'd say that's nesting. Lol

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

:roll: oooh, thanks, I hated that new one too Biggrin

Wow, you have a lot on your plate right now--but right in the heart of nesting instinct is kind of a great time to take on the world, I guess, so use while you've got it! Wish I could bottle that stuff...hoping your proposal goes well and that you DON'T have to be there. Extenuating circumstances much? Lol

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

:roll: Thanks Anna, that is a much better eye roll one!

Yep, if we could all bottle nesting type energy then we be set for all the parenting years ahead.

Ouch, my body had like the worst 'over did it' hang over ever today. Feels like this LO is just gonna fall right out. I totally hate that feeling. I think all that relaxin hormone in there is doing its job really well but at the expense of my comfort.

Odin is cracking me up lately. The last few weeks he has been saying 'baby' and actually using it to refer to a real baby or doll. In person, in pictures, everywhere. I've been pointing to my my stomach and telling him that his baby is in there, totally figuring that he wouldn't get it. The last few days he has been pointing to my belly and saying baby, waving & saying 'hi', and giving it hugs. So darn sweet. I need to get a pic or video of that before its too late. Hopefully he is still that sweet once baby comes and he has to share his nursing time.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

CUUUUUTE!!!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

That is super cute! Sounds like he'll be a loving big brother. Smile

Anna and I stayed up on chat one night figuring out what happened to our old smilies that we missed. Many of them we "refound." lol

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Wow! Your business is going to grow quite a bit! That's so exciting!

I DEMAND video of Odin talking to his baby bump!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I'm going to try my hardest to get that recorded.

DS1 came down with something yesterday and is so sick. Today his fever is at 104.5 and he looks and sounds horrible. I'm not really big on taking my kids to the doctor for colds but got him in for 3:00 just to make sure he is doing alright. Poor guy is just miserable. I'm like super sanitizing everything, and have him confined to his bed, so that none of the rest of us get sick. Last thing I need (or need Odin to get cause he will just give it to me) is some horrible fever causing illness.

I woke up at 2am feeling like I was going to get sick everywhere. Got up for 10 min. and then went back to bed and listened to a hypno track which knocked me out pretty fast. I was so worried that I was getting DS1's bug. Knock on wood that is was just a fluke or something since I feel fine today.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Aww Joy! That sucks that DS1 is so sick. I really hope that nobody else gets it!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Oh boo! Here's to everyone else (especially you!) staying healthy and DS1 feeling better soon!

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

Sorry to hear your son is sick! DD1 just had something with similar symptoms which turned out to be the flu (the actual flu, not the stomach virus that everyone calls "the flu")

Hope he's better soon and that he keeps his virus to himself!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Hope he feels better soon and that it doesn't spread!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Sending you all the anti-viral vibes I can muster!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

So the bad news is that DS1 has influenza A. Ick! So yep, just like metioned above the 'real' flu and not the stomach flu. He also has a double ear infection from it. They did a swab to test for it and I guess the blue line showed up instantly when it usually takes 15 minutes. I figured it was bad news when both the nurse and doctor both came back in with face masks on. I went ahead a let them give us stuff for the ears and some tamiflu stuff that should help his body get rid of it faster. Either way he is still a big contagious ball of germs and pretty much has to be kept in his room away from everyone. Not that he minds since he is totally out of it right now. I guess its bad if I get it (between the high fever and potential lung issues) so the ped. said that it was important I let my doctor know that DS1 has it so there is a plan of action if I do get it. Wonderful. Now I've got everything crossed that I don't get it! Drinking extra extra fluids and getting tons of rest this week so my body can fight it off if needed.

I feel so bad that he played with loads of friends on Friday and over the weekend and exposed them all to this junk. Even his entire baseball team between practice and a game as well as some of the kids from his Karate studio when he got his new belt on Friday. No way I could have known though.

Got my hospital registration done online. Woo Hoo, one step closer!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Oh no. Poor little guy. I hope the meds help. There's no way you could have known to keep him home from all his events. Is tamiflu safe to take while pregnant as a precautionary measure? It could be worth it.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Oh wow Joy, that sucks a big one! I am so sorry that you have to worry about that this close to the end! As if there isn't enough to think about already! I hope that you are able to avoid getting sick! At least you were already being vigilant about degerming and keeping him isolated. I agree there's no way you could have known, and that could be where he picked it up in the first place too.

KUP on what your doc says and how you and DS1 are feeling!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Oh, no! Really hope you're able to avoid getting it! I took tamiflu once three or four years ago, and it did nothing but make me throw up Sad Hopefully your DS1 has a better reaction!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

"cactuswren" wrote:

Oh, no! Really hope you're able to avoid getting it! I took tamiflu once three or four years ago, and it did nothing but make me throw up Sad Hopefully your DS1 has a better reaction!

Oof. That sucks. On the other hand, perhaps taking it as a precautionary measure would also work to move things along .... sorta like castor oil? Wink TERRIBLE idea, I know!

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