Jan16 I went in for my 39w appointment. Nurse took my BP and it was high, like holy cow high. She had me go pee in cup, then lay down on my side while I waited for the NST room to free up. About 10 minutes later the room was ready for me so I got all hooked up and it was obvious baby wasn?t pleased with my high BP, nurse took it again and it had lowered but it was still very high. My urine came back with a spike of protein, oh lovely.
NST showed baby perk up and I was having small contractions. OB decided since baby was a flipper (going from transverse to breech to head down) and had moved again to send me to L&D and flip babe and strip my membranes and get babe out since I was clearly on my way to being very ill with preeclampsia (once again ugh) I had managed to avoid pre-e until 39w so I was a happy camper.
Me and the whole gang; hubby, Kaylee and Rowan headed on over to the hospital. Got undressed down to my bra and tank climbed into bed and waited for the OB to head over to flip baby again. They needed a good strip before and after the flipping so I agreed to be hooked up to monitor babe. Dr L used ultrasound to guide him as he flipped baby and then stripped my membranes. I was going to stay over night because I was already contracting lightly on my own and my BP was shooting up and falling quickly. Babe looked great.
Since we had the whole gang my husband left with the kiddos to eat, take naps, etc. I stayed and bounced on my birth ball, walked, did everything I knew to keep babys head down and hopefully drop into my pelvis as not to risk another flip. Hub had gone to pick up my grandmother so she and my MIL could watch the kiddos during labor and delivery. They all came by and we hung out for a while, it was nice to be able to see my babies before labor, I got to snuggle them and give kisses and hugs.
Everyone except hubby left around midnight and me and hub tried to get some sleep because at 3am I was going to get a low dose of pit to jump start labor.
3am-nurse comes in to start pit. She isn?t confident that baby is still head down. Calls for OB
330-Dr L uses ultrasound and see?s baby is in fact still head down. Starts low dose pit. Sleep through most of my contractions
6-7am-Dr K takes over. Checks me, baby has moved. Stop pit, get a shot to stop contractions. Use ultrasound to move baby, baby doesn?t want to stay head down. Wait 15 and try again baby moves a little but not fully head down. Shoulder and elbow are facing cervix. Dr K says we?ll have to wait for Dr L to try.
9-11am-Labor starts on its own. Hub and I look up techniques to flip baby during labor. Its very painful. We try everything we can find. I labor over the back of the bed mostly, hubby rubs my back and hips during contractions. We try new techniques every few contractions. I know I am entering transition and hang against hub for a few contractions before moving back to the bed on all fours. I start begging for pain relief, I don?t really want it but I think I do.
12pm Dr K comes in says I cant have pain relief, checks me Im 9 cm! Im so proud of myself. But then she looks worried and says baby didn?t move, babys shoulder and elbow are lodged into my pelvis. I need a csection NOW. Im crushed. I was SO close, my natural birth was RIGHT there.
I realize I just want baby here safe. They start prepping me. They give hub the run down of what is going to happen. Im silently freaking out inside. About 5 minutes later we are all heading to the OR. They tell hub he cant come in yet, hand him scrubs and tell him to dress out in the hall while they get me ready and they?ll come get him.
From here I remember little: I remember crying because I was terrified. They couldn?t get my spinal in because my body was shaking so much and my contractions were on top of each other. Last thing I remember was a mask being put on me and me screaming.
Neither my husband or myself were there for his birth. They refused to let him in (we never got an explanation as to why since we had discussed this and how it would work many times in the event baby flipped and I needed a section.) I had a "double csection" I have an upside down T shaped incision. They had to use a vacuum to get him out.
Luca Gabriel (BOY) was born 1.16.13 at 12:53pm he was 8lbs 2.5oz 20in . He was given to my husband shortly after birth and my hubby loved and snuggled him the whole time.
I lost a ton of blood, had/have a massive hematoma that was being fed from a huge artery and nearly had a hysterectomy. I had two blood transfusions. I missed much of Luca?s first 2 days of life because I was so out of it and so weak. .
6hrs after birth my husband and an LC from the hospital held Luca to me to nurse, he did it like a champ from what I hear. I had to be told multiple times that I had the baby, that it was a boy and he was healthy and happy. I don?t remember much from the days before and after, that scares me and makes me sad. It has been pretty traumatizing for me.
Two/Three Weeks later: I was diagnosed with multiple blood clots in my lungs, arm and leg, a HUGE infection of my uterus.I may lose my uterus because of the hematoma and infection but we wont know for sure until I have finished antibiotics at home. I have been in the hospital for it for 5.5 days, away from Luca, unable to love him, kiss him, nurse him, smell him. Its been heartbreaking and hard. I?ll be going home today 2.8.13 with a picc line, blood thinners, home nurse care (they will be giving me antibiotics and blood draws).
Luca means: Bringer of light which is perfect since he is the only light in this dark tunnel I?m in.
Oh Ashley my heart breaks for you and your husband. I'm in tears. You've been through hell and back with Little Luca (I LOVE his name by the way). You are going to get through this. Keep Luca as your light, let him help you move forward, there is always peace somewhere, even though we don't know the road or how long it may be.
Oh my goodness, how scary with all the blood clots. I'm so glad that you and little Luca are ok. I sure hope you have lots of family to help out so you can get some good rest in. I'm glad you are home too and getting to spend some time with your little guy. And I love the name Luca...very Italian!
Just read everything here. I'm so sorry that things turned out the way they did. But glad that despite all of that, you have a healthy baby boy! I hope you can heal from everything you've been through and spend time with your sweet baby again!
Ashley! I have been thinking of you since your last post, almost every day wondering how you are and what was happening. I was crying last night reading Luca's birth story, I hope that you are home now and that the antibiotics are working. I hope that you are now starting your healing process and that it will be quick and complete and that you will not have to go through any more of this!
And focus on the good parts, the laboring that you did with your husband towards the end, and of course your beautiful baby! I love how you explain his name and its significance, I hope that Luca continues to be your light! "Refuah Shelaimah!" (it means "complete healing" in hebrew, and the connotation includes a spiritual and physical healing)
Thanks so much ladies. I am home now. I have had a few break downs of tears and fear. I feel like I am missing part of my memory, and part of my life as his mommy. I cant put into words how happy I am he is here and healthy and unaffected by mommys mishaps, but I hurt inside for myself. I really feel lost in all this, not because I didnt get what I want but because it all was fast, unknown, unrememberable, and just plain scary.
I think it'll just take me accepting the fact I wont remember those days to heal. I am madly in love Luca, he is such a little prince and his siblings and daddy are just as wrapped up in him. He is my light <3 I am forever grateful that this baby is mine, he came in the way he did for a reason, I can only hope to one day understand it.
I am so sorry you had to go through all that. So scary. I'm very glad to hear that baby Luca is safe and healthy and that you are home and on the mend. I hope you are able to find peace and heal emotionally from your birth experience. (((hugs)))
I've been following your lodge and wondering about baby's arrival in your absence. Congratulations on your little boy!! But so sorry to hear what a rough and scary time it was for you. I'm happy to hear he is healthy and you are doing ok and home now. I hope your physical recovery is going well and that the emotional does follow once you are able to really process and accept everything as it is. ((hugs))
Hope to see some pics of your precious son when you are up to it. :)
I was very worried when I hadn't heard about your birth in such a long time. I am so sad at what happened. I wish you all the best healing mentally and physically from the birth. Congrats on your new baby boy and I love his name.
I'm so sorry you've had such a rough time, and I really hope the complications subside! At least Luca is none the worse for wear. And good for you for nursing him despite your difficult recovery. I can't imagine what the pp cramps must be like for you.