I love your story of how you and your DH met, how sweet!
I love your story of how you and your DH met, how sweet!
Welcome to your lodge Christa! Sweet story for sure! I too am wondering if you got the car seat ready?!
how's it going today Christa? :)
Perhaps snack time was code for "go have a baby"?
Sorry about the delay and no the carseat is still not ready but by nothing short of a miracle I WAS able to locate it in the basement. Now, to get time to clean it.
So, before I head back to the beginning I'll jump to the end so I can explain my delay. I am pregnant with my 4th baby. My first two were born via c/s and my last was a beautiful VBA2C in the hospital. For this baby I want, no, that's not true, I need to do it naturally. I don't mean just without drugs because I did that with my last birth, I mean, without worrying about what the dr's and nurses are going to want to do. I want this baby to come earthside in the safety of my own home. Once you read DD2's birth story (I'll get to that), you'll understand. It was wonderful, the VBA2C part was, but there were things I had to sacrifice because I was in the hospital and had an OB. This pregnancy has taken me on quite the journey. I started off with my OB and I'm still seeing him. About 3 months ago (is that right Oct girls?!) I completely freaked out at the idea of a hospital birth with this LO. It's not what I want, it's not what I see happening but it was the road I was on at the time. I live in IL and hb options just don't exist. Our state heavily prosecutes illegal mw's but doesn't give us legal options so there are a scant few mw's that still practice here. I messaged a mw who's name I had from a very 007 type search. She is the only mw that anyone seems to know about around here and only a few people know about her. I called and was informed that the day before I called she had given birth to her baby and was not going to be practicing for a couple years. She told me to call her back in a few weeks because while she wasn't going to practice the thought of turning away a mother in need didn't sit well with her either. I didn't call and didn't call and just really tried to make myself okay with a hospital birth. I tried and failed to make myself okay with it. I started contemplating an unassisted birth, which DH would NOT be okay with. I'm sure I could "talk" him into it but I didn't want to. So, one evening sitting here in tears I messaged the mw on fb and started asking questions. She told me to come up to meet with her, this was just a few weeks ago. So, up I go to her house to meet. I loved her. I liked her views on being at the birth as more of a safety net than an actual participant, she called it unassisted with supervision. I came home, told DH so he could start processing it and immediately felt a complete wave of relief come over me. Yep, this is exactly what I needed, it made complete sense. No one would be there at the birth pushing me around or requiring me to do what "they" wanted or needed. I would give birth, no one would "deliver my baby". A week later I got a message from my mw that she would indeed not be able to attend. There were family circumstances that I won't go in to but do completely understand. I was crushed, absolutely crushed. I cried and cried and cried. I was back at square one. She called other mw's that she knows but they just couldn't commit to a birth so far away from them. She offered to "train" us to go unassisted. I started reading up on UB and figured I would just figure it out when the time came. I don't want to go unassisted, especially making that decision this late in the game (that's the biggest part of it). But I guess if she could help me be prepared in case I freaked at the last minute and refused to go to the hospital I should really take her up on her generosity and at least get as much as I can. At this point I'm late in my 34th week. I had DD2 at 36 weeks (hence why I've not had a lodge before) and the thought of being that close to birth time is making me even more nervous. I need to figure this out like YESTERDAY!!! I posted on a local fb homebirthing group just basically as a last ditch effort to find a mw. I got a PM from a lady with a name and phone number. I called and the lady on the other line was in fact a direct entry mw and after talking for a bit she said I should come up and meet with her. She's 2 hours from me. So, that's where the story becomes real time. That is where I was yesterday afternoon. After the never ending snack time, YES, they took forever to eat it, I had to get them over to my MIL's and get on the road. Then last night of course I was just laying here all ready to come on and get some chatting done and the internet was down. Of course, the internet being down had the added benefit of getting my oldest DD out of her bedroom and she actually *GASP* talked to me without me prying her for information. I'm thinking about calling and canceling our internet service randomly just because it was really nice to chat with her :)
So, the meeting with the new mw was great. As long as I make it until at least this weekend, Saturday or Sunday, she will be able to attend me. She put me at 36 weeks yesterday so I have to make 37 weeks. LO is HEAD DOWN, which he/she wasn't when I saw the other mw just a few weeks ago so that's really exciting. Absolutely everything looks good with me and LO (sex unknown but I refer to as him, not a premonition, just a pronoun to use for now). I think DH will actually like this mw more so than the other one (who he never got a chance to meet). She's going to come down in 2 weeks for a prenatal at my house. I'm on :cloud9:! I have that same sense of relief that I felt before, like this is not only the right decision, it's the perfect one for this baby and this birth. I do not plan to tell anyone IRL (well, except some of my hb'ing/ICAN girls) about our plans. My mom is the one that totally freaked when I mentioned a hb with Clara (DD2) and really talked me out of it in the end. Well, she was the last person I was going to tell this time but she was wanting to go with me yesterday because I was going close to one of the "big cities" and she wanted to ride along to go shopping for some stuff. I couldn't think of a lie to tell her as to why she couldn't go since I actually did have plans on stopping there on my way home. I finally just told her I was meeting with a mw and I was going alone. So, after I got home last night she started asking a whole bunch of questions (they were here because my stepdad was helping DH with the last of our bathroom remodel) and I was giving her very little info. I finally told her I was not planning to discuss it with her now or for the rest of the pregnancy. I think she was a bit hurt but she didn't push it. I'm too far along and getting too close to the birth to deal with any negativity about my birth plan from anyone, especially those that are close enough to me to influence me so I'm just not putting it out there right now.
okay, DH is home, time to get to work (ready for the bathroom to be completely complete) but as long as the internet Gods allow, I'll be back on tonight.
OOH, you're going rogue!! ;) LOL Just kidding. But good for you in going after what you really want and not letting anything stop you! Your birth should certainly be an exciting one to read about when all is said and done! I can't wait to see what happens!
Yay for the new midwife working out! I bet that is a huge relief. I'm so excited for you to get your HB. :blob3: