I've never done a proper introduction on this particular board before, so here it goes! I'll start at the beginning. Sorry, I do tend to get long winded when I have the time and well, Aiden is asleep right now!
My husband and I officially met and started talking in August of 2004. We attended the same small private Catholic university and had mutual friends, but never really hung out before then. After all I was known as the drunk girl who was president of her sorority and was dating a popular fraternity guy for 2.5 years previous. Yes, really. How I got such great grades while maintaining that lovely rep I still do not know. Anyways, frat guy broke up with me right before my senior year (DH's junior year). I decided to let things be by laying low (this was HUGE small campus news ) and spent more time with my non-drinking sorority sister and her close friend, my now husband. Unexpectedly we hit off a friendship quickly. By fall break we were dating and pretty much spending all of our time together. Lots of drama from other people, but DH trusted me when I told him he wasn't a rebound. I graduated in May 2005 and started working super long hours. What little free time I had I spent on campus with him. He proposed New Year's Eve of 2005. He took me to dinner at The Melting Pot and the ring was in the middle of the dessert tray! Man never did get down on one knee which I still tease him about. We never set a wedding date then because he graduated May 2006 and in June took off for 13 lovely weeks (ha ha) of Officer Training School with the USAF. While he was gone we both went a bit nuts being apart. At the end of OTS, he announced that we were getting married as soon as he could arrange time off and find a priest and church willing to marry us. A few days before Labor Day weekend he called me up and told me that he had already arranged to have time off in November and my home church priest was available the first two weekends in November and which one did I want. We were married November 4, 2006. Three days later we took off for our "honeymoon," aka we drove across the country to his first duty station in Las Vegas, NV!
By January of 2007 we decided that we hated me on BC pills (I was always spotting and DH said I was not acting normal on them) and decided to start TTC. I found pg.org in August when searching for others who were TTC their first. Back then there was a TTC for the First Time board on here. It was my home and I still keep up with some friends I made back then. After I hit a year I was not happy to say the least. I took my charts and went to my annual to ask about what we could do next. The military doctor refused to look at my charts and told me that I was probably fine. We were able to get my husband a SA which was normal as far as he was told by yet another military doctor. I felt really uncomfortable with my assigned doctor and refused to go back. I just didn't know back then my rights with Tricare. I was so emotionally spent that when we hit little over 2 years I just didn't care enough if that makes sense. I was done. DH told me that we were going to enjoy our last year or so living in Vegas and when we moved we'd do everything we needed to make a baby happen then. So we totally lived up Vegas and I have to say my fondest memories of that place (and why I do miss it!) is from our last year there. While our TTC issues clearly were still affecting me at times, it wasn't an everyday emotional toil that it was. I did lots of drinking. Met my best friend. I felt normal again! Meanwhile during all of this my husband decided he wanted to cross train to another job in the USAF. In February of 2010 he found his application was accepted to cross train into his dream field. We went out and celebrated Vegas style that weekend with our friends. A few days later I realized I had already passed 35 cycle days which was my longest normally. There was no denying that super bright within seconds BFP. I had tested while DH was out for a run. When he got back I told him to go into the bathroom. Expecting a spider or roach, he stepped in a bit anxious and was very surprised to see a HPT sitting out on the counter. He double checked with me that two lines meant yes. I cried. Pretty sure he even teared up a bit too.
Last edited by alwayssmile; 10-17-2012 at 03:52 PM.
Eeeee! Welcome to your lodge!! I'm so excited to follow this journey with you!
Mama to Kostas with the Mostest, born 07/10/07
and Marek "Cricket" Joshua, born 12/07/12
Okay, on to Aiden's pregnancy and birth. I started off being seen by the CNMs at the base hospital out there. Quick back story, when I was in college I spent a week in the hospital with a severe form of toxic shock and I did not enjoy my hospital stay. Partly due to them taking my BP every 15 minutes for 3-4 days, and now I don't get along well with the BP cuff machines. The CNMs always used the machines on me at the beginning of my appt. Everything else was checking out perfectly fine at my appts though. The appt after my anatomy scan they decided that I needed to do the 24 hour pee collection and I had to come back in for extra BP checks. Other than the embarrassment of having to stand in line holding a jug of my pee with someone I knew behind me (yay for military hospitals), the protein check was perfect. My BP however? Still elevated and they decided I had hypertension, not just pregnancy hypertension, since I had an elevated reading before the 2nd tri. Meanwhile during all of this we prepared to move because we had gotten orders! At 27 weeks we enjoyed one last Vegas weekend with friends and then took off for Hell. I mean the boarder of Mexico in Texas. I had left with the CNMs telling me that I needed a growth scan ASAP because my hypertension could affect the baby's growth. I get to our new base, get Tricare set up there, and I'm told I'm being referred to off base. I can see the OB who speaks English or the OB who everyone struggles to understand because he mostly speaks Spanish. I, who took French in high school, chose to see the OB who speaks English naturally. I call to make an appointment and I'm told I can be seen in 5 weeks. Insert first time mom panic! I managed to get the nurse practitioner to agree to see me and to set up an u/s when the tech was available next. All during my 3rd tri there I got normal BP readings. They took my BP manually most of the time!!! I never really had any relationship with the OB, but hey I understood him and he wasn't concerned one bit about me being supposedly having hypertension. Pretty much the only issue I had with him in the end was his excessive scans - almost every appt I got a quick one where he pointed out yet again I was having a boy and that all was fine. I felt like he was looking for something to go wrong, but I pressed on joyfully. At my 36 week appt I was told I had dropped and baby was extremely low and engaged already and that I'd be having him in the next 2-4 weeks! That was exciting news for me! I finished up making freezer meals and getting everything ready. And I showed up to my 40 week appt with no new news coming out of it other than the OB telling me he's not comfortable with people going past 41 weeks because the risks go up of something going wrong and us being in the middle of no where. I felt confident that I'd have my baby in the next week, so I got him to not set up an induction. A week later I show up for my 41 week appt. Once again nothing new other than I'm very disappointed that I haven't had my baby and I felt like I should have after that 36 week appt! I was all on board with the OBs insistence that I get induced ASAP. He told me my only other choice was to have my care transferred to the city - which was 2.5 hours away. No thanks! I had the weekend to lay around miserable and the following Monday at 41 weeks, 3 days I was to go in and get cervidil around dinner time.
Now I did want a natural childbirth with my son. I was really wanting to attend Bradley classes, but wasn't able to due to the move. There were zero childbirth classes where we moved to in TX. So I bought Bradley books and read them. Had DH read selections out of one. Felt that if I could go naturally after all who wants meds once you read all of the possible effects they have. And the epi possible side effects?! YIKES. No thanks! I did my scientific research on the risks of things and left it at that. Thought I was prepared.
Last edited by alwayssmile; 10-17-2012 at 09:49 PM.
Okay, below is the birth story I wrote just 9 days after Aiden was born. To say that I've learned much since then is an understatement. Looking back I know way more of where all things went wrong. Posting this as is and then I'll have another post with more information.
Aiden Alexander?s Birth Story
20 1/4" long
14 1/2" head
When I still had no signs of labor at my 41 week OB appointment, I scheduled an induction for 41 weeks, 3 days (Monday, November 1st). I arrived to the hospital at 3:30pm that day (still no signs of labor). The OB started me on cervidil at 8pm. At 10pm I started having contractions anywhere from 10-15 minutes apart. Throughout the night I walked and moved around and got contractions to be longer and closer together. At 4am they started me on pitocin. At 8am the OB broke my water. Contractions really took off from there (a minute long, 2-3 minutes apart). Since I was on pit, I had to be monitored off and on but was able to move around the room within reason. At noon on Tuesday, November 2nd I was checked to be 4cm. At that point contractions were very intense. I had been doing great until then dealing with the contractions, but that became very tough when they turned to 1? minutes long (sometimes longer) with only seconds from the end of one to the start of the next. The next two hours were really rough on me as the contractions became even worse. The nurses insisted that I had to be monitored more often, so I wasn?t able to move around. DH later told me that the contractions monitor kept reading my contractions as so strong that they often went off their chart. At 2pm I asked to be checked. No progress had been made. I asked for the epidural because DH and I felt that the pit contractions were too rough for me to relax enough to let them work well. The epidural went great, but I absolutely hated it with a passion. While I welcomed the relief, I hated the loss of control over the bottom half of my body. An hour after the epi, Aiden?s heart rate dropped very low (down to the 50s at one point) for 3 minutes. It was awful. After that the pit was stopped. I still hadn?t made any progress. The pit resumed later on when the OB approved it. By 8pm that night I was told that I was having great looking contractions, but I still hadn?t progressed past 4cm and that Aiden?s head was at -1. DH and I discussed having a c-section at the OBs suggestion. By then, I wanted the whole fiasco over with. I was miserable and it appeared that Aiden was just not going to come at all. When I still hadn?t made any progress at 10pm, I was wheeled into the OR. Aiden was born at 10:23pm with scores of 8 and 9. He was 20?? inches long, 8lb 7.9oz, and had a 14?? head. The OB said after the c/s that he didn?t think that Aiden could have ever been born naturally. I think if I had progressed, Aiden could have been born naturally but with injury to the both of us. Aiden as it was had bruises and broken blood vessels from the labor. I hate that I didn?t get the natural birth I wanted, but I am so grateful to finally have Aiden in my arms! He is absolutely perfect in every way. Once I was able to be united with him, he immediately breastfed well. A week later he is back up to birth weight and is a dream baby. I thank God every day for my healthy son.
Alright, taking advantage of quiet time while I have it!
Things I now know.
1. I had a horrible bishops score going in to the induction. FAIL.
2. Aiden was posterior. I had the worst back labor. He had a good sized head. Of course he wasn't moving down! Poor kid didn't have a chance once my water was broken.
3. I left out that the nurses yelled at me to stay in bed because the monitors were falling off. I listened. FAIL.
4. When I was able to leave the bed it was to stand right beside it or to sit in a rocking chair. What I wanted to do was put my butt in the air but was told that was bad for baby. BIG FAIL. Of course that's what I wanted to do - he was posterior!
5. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything once the cervidil was inserted. I was starving by the time the OB broke my water. I had no energy by lunch time. By 2pm I couldn't think straight. I couldn't remember a darn thing about positions. All I could think was omg my body is ripping apart and I can't do this staying in bed.
6. Pit is the devil. I had no breaks beyond a few seconds between contractions. At 4cm. Uhhhh....yeah, this is totally normal. NOT.
7. Epidural is the devil for me. I was able to think a bit better, but my main thought was how much I regretted the epi already because I no longer felt like myself. Rest and sleep? Never happened because I was freaked out about not being myself anymore. And of course it caused heart decels for my son due to the meds and me being stuck flat on my back.
8. I could have totally birthed my son if my body was ready. My body wasn't ready because it knew that birthing him posterior was not going to work. My body was waiting for him to move, which required me to move....which I didn't do at all in the end unless you count moving from the kitchen to the couch and back again.
All these interventions (boy am I a classic hospital intervention story or what?! lol) did affect Aiden and my bond at first. After the c/s he was taken away and DH went with him. I was taken to recovery where I laid there for over an hour without a single nurse talking to me and telling me anything about my son. I just laid there stunned. They brought Aiden to me a few minutes after I was moved to a room. I held him wondering if he was really my baby (DH said he definitely was because he hadn't left Aiden's side) and how did things go so wrong from my hopes and dreams. But one thing I did know was that I WAS going to BF and if there was one thing that was going to work out that was it. DH fetched my BFing book (Nursing Mother's Companion) out of my bag and I used the pictures and what I remembered reading to latch him on. Other than a bit of lipstick nipple which the book did address and I was able to figure out, BFing went fantastic for us. Being his nutrition made a world of a difference for us bonding. (And there were no BFing friendly nurses, no LCs within 2 hours, etc - VERY thankful that things went so smoothly!)
As much as I hate his birth, I can say that everything afterwards went great. I had an easy c/s recovery (though don't get me wrong it still majorly sucked). Life moved on and I've worked on understanding and moving past his birth. Knowing what I do now I honestly still can't say that I would have chosen to not be induced and go to the city instead. My husband wouldn't have been able to join me in my wait due to his training. The hospital there doesn't have the best rep. If we still lived there I don't know what I would do for Zoe! Thankfully we've moved twice since then. lol
Jackie! I'm so excited it's your lodge time! Yay!
Thanks for sharing your stories. I loved reading through all of them- for as much time as we've spent together on the BWing boards and elsewhere, I didn't know all that background.
I am so excited for you to have a much more informed birth this time. I think it's going to make a huge difference!
Mara & Joel, 2009