Is there anyone your DH might listen to about how this isn't a good idea at this time? Would he listen to your pastor or a trusted neighbor or an older man from his work or a social group he belongs to? Yes, the tickets are bought, but they should be transferrable to a later date when you'll be up for company and someone really should tell him that that's what he needs to do.
If not, then is there anyone else you might be able to call on for help? Church members, moms from a homeschooling group, neighbors? Anyone who might be able to take the kids for a couple of hours or help your mom with something? Maybe even a local teenager who can help with laundry & housework under your supervision for a few dollars an hour? I know it's not easy to ask for help, but you are going to be overwhelmed and you are going to need help, and it really doesn't sound like your DH is going to be much help this time if his brother is around. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Why can't these men respect our Bubbles Of Peace????
Thank you so much both of you for your replies and advice/support. It means a lot. I will definitely take that advice and try to apply it to help the situation. I just wish my mom was healthier so she could step up big time and be that help that I will desperately need. It doesn't help me to have to worry about taking care of her also, when it should be the opposite way around.
And we just got more bad news yesterday...my mom's blood work came back and she tested positive for diabetes. We knew it was only a matter of time as she is so unhealthy but it is still sad and hard to face the reality.
This whole situation was made worse and is like pouring lemon juice on a paper cut when his brother asked us the other day to send him money to buy his own stupid ticket. Seriously? If you have had this trip in mind since summer don't you think you should be responsible and plan ahead and save up ahead of time? Not ask us to send money so you can come visit when its not even a good time anyway? Of course DH sent it to him with the understanding that he would be paid back the full amount when he is here visiting. I sure hope his brother doesn't flake and actually pays us back. Money has been so tight and is about to get tighter with hospital bills.
DH and I haven't really talked much since Wednesday and things are awkward. I want to make up with him but until he is ready to let go of our argument I can't force him. He is like a cat that way. If you pick up a cat and put them on your lap and they don't want it, they will jump right down. But if the cat thinks he wants to sit on your lap of his own free will he will sit there and let you hold him for hours. That is how DH is. Until he is ready, there is no point in trying to approach him.
We have to just agree to disagree and I have to do what is best for me and our kids in terms of handling my stress and anxiety over this situation. I need to focus on me and the kids and do what I need to do to get ready for the baby. I will let DH worry about his brother. If DH can't help me much after baby is born because of his brother then that will be heartbreaking. I am just praying that I don't have the baby until his brother is gone.
Normally I am all for having the baby a little early...especially since that is my history. Every child has been 5,6,7, or 8 days early. But this time around I am hoping the baby won't come until at least the 8th. I am counting on his brother leaving by the 7th as I believe he has to be back to work by the 8th...so that is what I am hoping for.
I am going to just let it go as much as I can. There is nothing that I can do now. I will continue getting ready for Christmas, finish baby prep, and try to relax and spend as much positive and quality time with the kids as I can before our lives our interrupted with a newborn. I will also continue my daily hands and knees so baby is in the optimal position. Hopefully DH will eventually come around and realize that I am not the one being ridiculous in my desires. He thinks I have something against his brother...when its not the person at all, its the timing and situation we are in. I hope one day he really gets it.
Until then, I will do what is best for me, the baby, and our kids and hope that he will get it eventually.
Officially 37 weeks today. I always love hitting this date in my pregnancies...it means that baby is full term and if born would most likely be ok without major problems. I just can't wait to meet her for the first time! Getting so excited about that.
I truly believe that we can communicate with our babies, and they with us, before they are born. I would suggest sitting down and having a little talk with your baby about how stressful the next couple of weeks will be, and how it will be easier on everyone, including her, if she stays in for a while. Tell her that she can come out any time after her uncle leaves. Doesn't hurt, might help. Maybe she's an obedient child already, LOL? Of course neither of mine listened to me when I asked them to come out, but I do believe Tiven told me that she needed me to go to the hospital when I did.
More hugs for you: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
I agree with Stacey - I told both of my kids they had to wait until a certain date. And what do you know, they both came the day after that day!!! :) Ethan had to wait until after June 20th, he was born the 21st. Olivia had to wait until after Dec 4th and she was born Dec 5th. They both came early too. 38w 4d and 38w 3d. crazy right?! :)
Yay for 37 weeks!!!! :) And it sounds like you are coming to terms with what you need to do for yourself and your kiddos.
Things are going better this weekend. DH and I are getting along and he is being nicer. Granted, it may be because we haven't talked about his brother, but at least we aren't fighting anymore. I am just going to be as optimistic about the situation as possible. I think talking to my baby about what is to come is a good idea. Who knows if it will work but its worth a shot.
I have been having way more Braxton hicks contractions the last couple days. I shoveled after a big snowstorm on Thursday for 3 hours. It was tough but I did it..very sore afterwards but exercise is always good.
Still need to do a lot before Christmas...wrapping presents, etc. Then after Christmas its final prep for the baby and get ready for company and hopefully some time with just me and the kids and relax time.
glad you are getting along better!
Have you named this baby yet? I see you have a "j" theme! :) Do you go in with lots of names or just one of each gender?
Yes we have a j theme... We have it narrowed down to two names but won't decide until we meet her. Haven't figured out the middle name yet. Hope we can come to an agreement on the full name before we leave the hospital.
I can't believe I only have about 15 days left. Crazy. I had some contractions on Monday night that hurt a little and I was worried cause I am not ready and didn't want to be in the hospital during Christmas for the sake of my other kids. luckily it didn't last long. Christmas went great today. Dh and I have been getting along great and we are being kind and loving to each other so that is a huge plus. Today was all about relaxing and family time. He gave me an amazing foot massage while we watched the nba games and the kids played with their new toys. If truly was a wonderful day. I hope you all had a great day also. Merry Christmas!
My 38 week appt. Is On Friday. The baby is dropping more and more. My mom is convinced she will come much sooner then my due date. We will see i guess. I have been having more Braxton Hicks contractions. Hopefully they are doing something. The other day I got myself and the baby a car seat head rest thing. It's so cute. The bottom pillow is a tan giraffe pattern and the top one that goes inside for newborns is yellow with giraffe ears and horns. I also took out the car seat fabric and washed it so now that is ready. slowly but surely getting more prepared...